Maya Angelou quotes

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Allies

Much feminist theory today is dedicated to intersectionality. To give a wider understanding of any situation it is theorized that race, class and gender be operationalized to problematize the existential situation. Tongue twister isn't it? Theoretically I position myself as a womanist falling under the umbrella of feminism.  Though I would like to completely own the label of feminist, it seems to be a movement that is intent on privileging some voices over others. I simply cannot accept justice in words, and injustice in action.

Feminism as a movement is highly policed from within.  To be a dissenting voice is to face ridicule and isolation. Though we claim to converse what we are actually doing is talking at each other, instead of too each other.  In the din of all of the self-righteous finger pointing what is lost is the ability to build coalitions. So preciously do we hold the desire to be correct, we reject the fact that there is no universal experience, just as there is no universal woman. Some will claim to support women of color while at the same time silencing us when we speak about how our experiences differ.  Some will claim to support the GLBT community but fail repeatedly to purge homophobic, or transphobic  language from their everyday discourse.  When we belittle others in our precious desire for affirmation, not only are we reducing ourselves, but we are reducing the potential of feminism as a movement.

Just like any other socially progressive movement, feminism takes work.  It means being conscious of not only our own personal deeds and actions, but how they are affected by the world around us.  It means owning the fact that each and every one of us daily negotiates multiple sites of oppression and privilege, the two are conjoined and cannot be severed for the sake of convenience and willful avarice.

This post is entirely inspired from the responses I received to a post I wrote entitled my "mourning dress is tight".  It was cross posted at Feministe. That experience confirmed what I have been saying about feminism since I started this blog, only certain voices matter, and only certain people are considered relevant.  The comment that set me off the most was, "learn your audience". I must learn how to speak to people? This was knowingly said to me, a WOC. I am not sure if the author was aware of the racial overtones that came with that demand.  It is the perfect example of the policing that is done on feminist blogs.  Your truth is only truth if it is reflective of the majority of voices, and this kind of philosophy has a tendency to silence people that are socially marginalized. Who does have the right to speak in feminist circles?  It is fine for me to express an opinion but if it is not backed by links from more authoritative voices, of course my reality is irrelevant. When we consider that the voices of authority are privileged white women this sets up a race/class hierarchy that is reflective of the larger social world that we all share.

It would perhaps make some more comfortable if we were to all sit in a circle and sing blowin in the wind, purposefully blinding ourselves to the deep chasms that separate us from each other, but I cannot afford to take that road.  As a WOC, playing "the game" for the sake of presenting a false image of unity to the world, means internalizing racial stereotypes that are harmful to my person.  I will not allow myself to be created as less than so that others may feel empowered. This is a sacrifice that WOC have been asked to make since the very beginning of Feminism.  I stand along side women like Sojourner Truth in saying ain't I a woman. If my truth makes you uncomfortable it is not because it is filled with fallacy or omission, it is because it causes you to challenge assumptions that you have taken to be universal.

I am so tired of being on the defensive, and having to explain my commentary over and over again, as people try to twist my words to justify their own view of the world. Part of being an ally is truly listening to what someone has to say, with a desire to understand. I am sick of the self righteousness that says do not question my position, and I am sick of those that falsely offer friendship because it suits an agenda. How many times are we to be expected to turn the other cheek in the face of overwhelming arrogance, and aggression?  How many times must I reiterate a point only to have it obscured by some more pressing issue? If you want to "own" feminism you are on the right track.  Daily the exclusionary behavior makes less and less women want to identify as feminist and this is harmful to movement.  Keep going, don't listen steadfast in the belief that you are always correct but when the time comes when you need support, you may find yourself twisting not so happily in the wind.

29 comments :

  1. harrietsdaughter said...

    Renee -
    I was just over at Feministe (which I confess I don't read anymore - I just went there to see the comments you reference here).
    I'm sorry for what you are having to put up with over there, and I commend you for what you wrote here and there.
    I appreciate you and your work so much. Thank you.

  2. Sally said...

    Awesome post as usual!

    I can't tell you how frustrating it has become to comment on some feminist blogs. I am actually starting to stay away. If I say anything that they don't like, I'm automatically labeled a troll which totally ends the discussion.

    I understand their defensiveness (having to deal with "trolls" regularly must be pretty tiring), but we need to stop dismissing people just because they have something different to say.

    If I challenge your take on sexism or racism, that doesn't make me any more racist or a sexist than you are! Maybe as a WOC, I have my own experiences that I'm trying to bring forth.

    When I tried to challenge this with somebody, they said I was biting the hand that feeds me for being critical of feminist blogs & specifically commenters/readers. Is that what it's come to?!

  3. TinaH said...

    Lots of white feminists, like me before I started to examine white privilege, think that we have the market cornered on being oppressed. You said something, though, in your cunt v. nigger post, that I've been sitting with for the last week. I think that this is a very revealing look at the black male psyche. In their mind the only oppression that is real, is related to race. Gender very seldom factors into the equation, and this is a problem. The key here is that, while a black male is usually oppressed due to race or class, they still operate with a form of male privilege. What frustrates them is the inability to act on their privilege akin to white males. It was pretty simple for me to just take out "black male," substitute "white female," make the other appropriate substitutions about race and gender and now, blammo! the shoe is on my other foot.

    I never thanked you for making that comment, even though it wasn't aimed at me. It's been percolating in the back of my head ever since then. While it's percolating, I'm trying to do a heck of a lot of listening.

    Thank you, thank you.

  4. julie said...

    I hear how you feel. It can be frustrating, eh?

    Woman can be nasty. It is a fact. Something that none of us can change. A woman with power is a madwoman same as a man with power is a madman.

    It don't know how women are meant to hold other women accountable. But I have noticed the violence in young women increasing and it seems to me that women are the same as men. If you step out of line you get put in your place. I know it has always been like this but not to the degree it is now.

    The sad part about feminism like any movement is once you are out of the know .... you are finished. I hope we all have other interests in preparation. lol

    Feminism just changed a move this very minute along with technology.

    What I think is best for women who want to help build a better world for females and maybe others if we care enough is to "Just do it".

    Action it. It is those that action that get the say in feminist circles. Not those who just happen to have the loudest voice or who can pull down others better. People just go along with fake people but behind their backs they roll their eyes.

    The one thing I have noticed is that the white woman's day is nearly over. The minority groups, Black, Aboriginal, Asian, Indian, Maori, Pacific Island, and so forth are the new leaders.

    They are bringing with them a different culture and white women have learned that culture is important to these women.

    On another note, did you know that they have figured out who Adam and Eve is? Yeap, we all come from a small tribe who is living off the land in Africa. We are all, every single one of us, a descendant of the most humble people on the planet.

    http://tinyurl.com/6eyrcx

  5. Renee said...

    Woman can be nasty. It is a fact. Something that none of us can change. A woman with power is a madwoman same as a man with power is a madman.

    I could not agree with you more. Gender essentialist just refuse to acknowledge the aggression for what it is.

  6. Sally said...

    I commented earlier, but maybe it got lost somewhere in cyberland.

    I really appreciate this post (as well as the one over at Feministe). I've been getting increasingly frustrated at certain feminist blogs that do not at all open up conversation through the comments section. Instead, it is about people trying to "shout" over one another, dismissing other people's experiences by labeling them trolls, and ultimately silencing them.

    I've started to avoid some of these blogs and am going back to what I call the indy feminist/ womanist/ humanist blogs. I feel here we are usually much more receptive to actual discussion and growth.

  7. jessilikewhoa said...

    i thought your post was fantastic, and even tho i am white i was able to relate to everything you said becos those privileged white women dont represent me either. i am poor, i am living with mental health issues, i have a chronic health condition and no insurance, i have no interest in climbing some corporate ladder. i want to see the world radically recreated in a way that will support and nurture all of its members, where the work people do is meant to fulfill the soul, not fill a bank account. at the same time i kno that my skin color affords me protections that other women lack, and that my lack of pigmentation means if i wanted to i could pass for one of them, i could hope to achieve what they have. i kno i have a choice many women dont. i have the womens lib fist tattooed on my shoulder in bold black ink but lately the voices i hear coming from the movement make me want to disavow the label. voices like yours keep me hopeful. god/dess bless.

  8. offourpedestals said...

    Renee, I love your writing, and I hate what's going on over there. Good grief, the strawmans some of the women there keep bringing up--at times, if you were only going by the comments, it would really look like your post was about how rich white women need to put a sock in it and soldier on. Except, tiny problem: I read your post and hello, that's not what you wrote! At all!

    One might, if one were cynical, begin to wonder if maybe the problem isn't that some feminists just won't be satisfied until we're talking exclusively about rich white women.

    If one were cynical.

  9. Ebony Intuition said...

    Great post I agree with you.

    @Tinah I agree with your statement also about removing "black male" and plug in " white women. In their mind the only oppression that is real, is related to race. "

  10. Renee said...

    @offour pedestals those women are intent on controlling feminism and so when a voice appears that tried to widen the discussion they find it threatening. No group wants to give up their power.

    I also want to thank everyone for their support. It means so much to me.

  11. Danny said...

    Renee I've commented here a few times (and your cunt vs. nigger post got me thinking to the point where I made a post on it) but for this subject I want to make it clear that I in no way intend move the focus of your post away from the way "Non-In the Know" feminists are treated.

    From what I see in your post and in the comments so far are some of the same things that as a man I see in feminism.

    To be a dissenting voice is to face ridicule and isolation.
    I experience this often times when I try to talk to feminists and I happen to be a dissenting voice. You truly do get the feeling that dissension with the popular opinion is treated with same scorn as the true tolls that try to derail a discussion. Now when it comes to this I feel that I'm the outcast kid that the in-crowd will take any opportunity to dump on. But I don't think comes anywhere near the feeling of betrayal that you seem to experience. By reading your words it seems like betrayal to me but feel free to correct me on if what you feel is betrayal.

    Who does have the right to speak in feminist circles?
    This is a touchy issue with me. I am all for for treading carefully in a circle that I come into, especially when to that circle I am a person of privilege (real or not). However there many times when I have seen, "Take it slow and don't try to dominate the discussion." quickly turn into, "You don't have the right to comment on this at all because you're privileged!!!"

    Instead of copy-pasting all of it I'll just say Comment 5. by Sally:
    I would also like to add those blasted bingo cards to the silencing tactics you mention. They are simply ways that cowards (that are afraid to engage in debate) and conceited people (that think they are above debate) avoid discussion. A lot of bloggers out there would do good to learn that dissenting opinion does not equal troll.

    I want to point out two more things before I stop taking up your space.

    1....those women are intent on controlling feminism and so when a voice appears that tried to widen the discussion they find it threatening. No group wants to give up their power...
    I find it odd that those women you speak of do the same thing to WOC that they accuse men of doing to them.

    2.Now this is not meant as an insult but there is one observation that MRAs (regardless of your opinion of them) make about this brand of feminism you speak of: "One of the most privileged classes of people in human history has the nerve to tell everyone else they have been oppressed."

  12. Renee said...

    @ Danny
    By reading your words it seems like betrayal to me but feel free to correct me on if what you feel is betrayal.
    Actually I don't feel betrayal because I never expect solidarity with a certain group of feminists. They are working an agenda and I am well aware of it. I just refuse to let them get away with it.

    "You don't have the right to comment on this at all because you're privileged!!!"
    I hope that has not been your experience here. I am interested in all voices. I believe that even when we don't agree that there is the potential to learn. As long as everyone is treated respectfully I see no reason to limit conversation. I am aware that a lot of the comments that I have allowed on this blog would have blocked or banned from other feminist blogs.

    "One of the most privileged classes of people in human history has the nerve to tell everyone else they have been oppressed."
    I don't believe the issue is that they have been oppressed. I actually believe that goes without saying, the issue is that they don't acknowledge the ways in which they are also privileged. Each person regardless of sex negotiates privilege as well as oppression in the course of an average life. TO not own that is to live in a state of denial. This of course is something that I have said before.

  13. influencethis said...

    I was going to comment on Feministe, but I wanted to give you the last word (since it is your discussion, after all). I wanted to say that I agreed with everything you said over there, and your detractors were being ridiculous and would win you the "how to shut down discussions of racism" bingo. I have avoided mainstream feminist blogs and expected much of Feministe when they took on a womanist such as yourself to guestblog, but my hopes were dashed when I saw the dogpile and the only occasional intrusions by the blogowners. You said what I was thinking, from the original post to the comments to this blog response, and the detractors are covering their ears and shouting "lalalala I can't hear you".

    I have never read your blog before, but this is a problem which will soon be remedied.

  14. Danny said...

    I hope that has not been your experience here. I am interested in all voices. I believe that even when we don't agree that there is the potential to learn.
    Not at all. But I have to admit that I actually came over here from as a result of the colluder series of posts from a week or so ago with frequent mention of Amy Alkon.

    I actually believe that goes without saying, the issue is that they don't acknowledge the ways in which they are also privileged.
    True. Which is why I almost laugh whenever I here feminists claim there is no such thing as female privilege and that sexism can only be male against female and if its female against male its only gender discrimination.

  15. julie said...

    @Danny, I am not exactly sure what you are saying but socialism which is what feminism is relying on cannot work without men.

    This is a huge movement. In some ways it is fake for after all, both men and women in the past were oppressed.

    And yet, if you really look at oppression, we are all oppressed to paying taxes and following the laws of the land.

    None of this is your fault. I bet you weren't even alive when the roles of men and women were created the way they were.

    If you are finding yourself getting a hard time personally from women for something that you had nothing to do with ... please don't carry that load.

    This is all about change. At the end of the day it is about throwing off the shackles for both men and women.

  16. Sally said...

    Danny, I completely agree with you! Funnily enough, when I leave comments under names other than Sally, if my opinion is different from theirs, they usually think I'm a feminist-hating man. Go figure!

    And, for what it's worth, I admire the courage it takes for men to say they are feminists and try to engage other feminists in real discussion and debate. I can call you my ally and still have a differing opinion from time to time.

  17. Danny said...

    None of this is your fault. I bet you weren't even alive when the roles of men and women were created the way they were.

    And thats one of the pitfalls of feminism or any movement, the tendency to blame today's generation of a certain class for the deeds of a past generation.

    I think it's pretty unfair (and downright arrogant) to assign privilege to whole class of people.

  18. Renee said...

    And thats one of the pitfalls of feminism or any movement, the tendency to blame today's generation of a certain class for the deeds of a past generation.

    It is not a matter that todays generations is completely to blame from actions of the past. The issue is that people today continue to benefit from actions of the past. This of course applies not only to relations between men and women but in race as well.

  19. Danny said...

    It is not a matter that todays generations is completely to blame from actions of the past. The issue is that people today continue to benefit from actions of the past. This of course applies not only to relations between men and women but in race as well.

    Perhaps I misunderstand the rage that I've seen in some feminists then.

    While that is true in a lot cases it seems to me that people are way to quick to shout privilege at someone. And in the event that someon is indeed not benefitting from the privileg they are labeled with there is always the prepackaged response of, "You're just ignorant of your privilege."

  20. Renee said...

    While that is true in a lot cases it seems to me that people are way to quick to shout privilege at someone. And in the event that someon is indeed not benefitting from the privileg they are labeled with there is always the prepackaged response of, "You're just ignorant of your privilege."

    The word privilege has become the weapon du jour. What is important to remember is that everyone has some form of privilege just as well as some form of oppression. The problem with throwing the word privelge around is that those that continually accuse don't acknowledge their own privilege as well. I for instance negotiate race and gender in an oppressive manner as a WOC. I have privilege in class and I exist with western privilege. I am hetero another privilege...see how the list can go on. People need to own both privilege and oppression in their lives.

  21. harriettheelf said...

    Excellent, excellent post. Thank you. And I'm glad you're posting at Feministe - because now I get to read your blog, too!

  22. julie said...

    @Danny,

    Perhaps I misunderstand the rage that I've seen in some feminists then.

    Oh, no. You have not misunderstood.

    But they don't speak for me.

  23. Renee said...

    Oh, no. You have not misunderstood.

    But they don't speak for me.


    Just as all feminists don't speak for you, you cannot speak for all feminists.

  24. julie said...

    Just as all feminists don't speak for you, you cannot speak for all feminists.

    Neat point.Thanx Renee for reminding me.

    I have been enjoying looking over some of the links you have.

    So many different opinions.

  25. Blackamazon said...

    I just am stuck on sorry right now. SOrry that that happened to you.Sorry i didn't reach out sooner cause i Have been reading you for a while.

    Im so sorry

  26. DiosaNegra1967 said...

    damn...damn...damn. the same type of thing has been going on over in the "fatosphere" of late.... *sigh*

    there have been a few blogs where i've limited (or discontinued) posting on, due to people "jumping down my throat" or labeling me a "troll" if i don't agree with them or present a view from a WOC, that "bumps up against" what another poster (usually someone who has been a long time one) says....

    sheesh....

  27. Medie said...

    You know, I don't disagree with the 'learn to speak to your audience' but NOT in that sense. Good God. I think the people who need to learn how to speak to an audience are the ones who threw it at you.

    I was reading through this whole post just nodding at everything. I'm not a WOC, but I've stayed away from a lot of the feminist community because it doesn't feel like a community which encourages each woman to find the identity that suits them. It feels like "you have the right to make the choices you want, as long as WE approve of them." and that's not a community I want to participate in.

    Thank you for hitting the nail on the head. Seems to me, you already damn well know how to talk to an audience. You've certainly hit the mark with me more than any other 'feminist' blogger I've stopped to read.

  28. Moondancer said...

    Wow, reading this came at a very good time for me. Thank you so much. I was just thinking today that I am far more hesitant in using the word “feminist” to describe myself than I used to be. So many of the leadership in the movement have been saying and doing things that not only can I not get behind, I can’t even relate to. I am not a white woman, nor did I grow up or currently even middle-class. Yet, if you go by what many of the leaders of the feminist movement say (I hope simply not so well thought out words) that it’s all about the white middle-class experience.

    Now, I would never say all white feminists feel that woman’s issue trump race, or that the views of the white middle class are the only way to see things. The trouble is when women many of us have grown up respecting lose their minds and open their mouths to say racist and classist things, its hard not to feel stunned, hurt, and yes, a bit lost. When you are out there fighting, and then find your own struggles (and that of many WoC around you) cast aside as less important, you start to wonder what’s the point.

    And now, in the face of some of the most horrible lashing out within the “feminist” community, I find myself unsure of what to say that will make any difference. When people don’t want to listen, there is little you can do to make them. It gets tiring educating those who in truth never wanted to learn in the first place. The only thing that keeps me going, along with many other public WoC I know, is the knowledge that we set the path and the opportunities for ALL the girls who come after us.

  29. and-old-lace said...

    this is the most brilliant and revelant thing i've read in a long time. thank you

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