Saturday, June 28, 2008

Lock Her Damn Ass Up

image 61 year old Joyce Y. Beddell decided that the appropriate action after finding her granddaughter in bed with another girl, was to beat the poor child with a cane until it broke. Not satisfied with the pain and humiliation that she inflicted, she then proceeded to walk her granddaughter to her lovers house so that her parents could be informed that the pair were having sex.  Apparently that was still not enough to quench her rage as when the pair returned home she began beating the child with a belt.  The police were called to the house on charges of child abuse and the grand daughter received medical treatment for injuries.  When questioned Beddell responded, "that she had done nothing wrong and said she should have been allowed to discipline her granddaughter as she saw fit."

This incident enrages me for two reasons. One, corporal punishment has no place in the life of a child. It does not teach them to respect you, or that their actions were wrong, it inspires hatred and leads to feelings of depression and low self esteem. Two, this incident was clearly motivated by the fact that the girl was engaging in sex with another girl. You cannot control the sexuality of another, nor do you have a right to discipline in this way an activity that is a natural desire of ALL human beings.

Reading this story enraged me, and I was not even the one subjected to the beating. Shame on Bedell to treat another human being that way, much less one that is related by blood. I cannot help but wonder if she would have attempted to abuse a grandson in this manner? Though I do not know what was in her mind, I cannot help but think about the way that female sexuality is constructed by society. We are to be pure until wed and falling short of that we are disciplined mercilessly. This differential in regards to sexuality is not only sexist it has been used as a legitimate basis to perform violence on girls and women.  When we as women assert these patriarchal values upon ourselves, and our children we are internalizing the worst kind of hate. Colluders act on behalf of patriarchy, not women that truly value being women.

Some people are unable to see the horror of this womans actions. In reading posts on this story I came across some blog responses that clearly victim blame. There seems to be some consensus around the idea that because the sexual activity took place inside Biddell's home that the child was disrespecting her and brought the beating upon herself.  I offer some blog responses from The happy nappy head.

Anonymous: "She deserved to get beat till the white meat show!! She's lucky somebody called the cops cause granny would have kept beating that azz every time she looked at her! I have 4 kids and I will beat their azz if they ever disrespect my house like that!"

prodigy-maestro: "I mean... it is your grandmother's house, whether it was a male or a female, that's disrespect in my eyes"

marci: "you do not have sex in your grandmother's house...it's all wrong.. i don't care who or what it is with...plain wrong..."

From these responses you would believe that the girl in question had committed a capitol crime in her grandmothers home, rather than express a legitimate part of herself.  It is just sex, two bodies coming together for love in some cases, and sharing pleasure in all cases. In a world of violence, where people are tortured, murdered and raped how can we possibly look upon sex as an act that is so disturbing it deserves this kind of punishment? This is beyond a skewing of values. I cannot speak for anyone else but when her day in court comes, I hope that she will be granted just as much leniency as she chose to offer her vulnerable granddaughter.

9 comments:

bluelinchpin said...

This is extremely depressing...it's scary to realize that there are people in this world who would humiliate and torture someone (and don't try and call that beating anything else!) just for expressing love.

Allison said...

I think what's really sad is that black people think that by beating children they are "helping them." Some help, huh? We are ranked consistently at the bottom of every measure of social progress so clearly it's not working.

Queers United said...

she looks like a real wacko in her mugshot too, so sad

Ebony Intuition said...

What the grandmother did is so wrong, why because we all know that teenage boys have sex with their girlfriends in their mothers home all the time and boys would never get in trouble, but because its a girl and she was having sex with a girl its labeled as wrong.

@allison

"black people think that by beating children they are "helping them."

That crap needs to stop to hurting your child doesn't help them, it only creates fear.

julie said...

I know what this lady did was wrong but I can't help but wonder how she may have been affected.

She is 61 and I bet in her day, this was unacceptable and I have a feeling she would have done the same if her grandson did this with another young man.

I would like to think that she would have done the same if there was a male and female in the bed. Only she can answer that.

All of what we are going through has come very fast. We are seeing the effects of goals from 1973.

It still doesn't make the punishment right but I wonder a bit if this grandma is going through a crisis herself over this.

DiosaNegra1967 said...

ebony intuition: i'm with you....

that woman is close to my mom's age and probably has similar cultural beliefs...

when i was a teen, i would overhear how the fam would deride queer people or those who were thought to be queer...

my mom found my diary once and had a defcon 5 meltdown because she found the word "lesbian"....so much for "sexual liberation" from my parents' generation....

yep....i think she'd have had a different reaction had it been a boy her granddaughter with....in fact, i'm almost sure of it...however, the girl shouldn't be killed for it! and, the kid shouldn't have been "doing the do" in the house to begin with...

i guess it's never too young to learn as a black female, you are not allowed the freedom to explore your sexuality...you are to be touched sexually by males ONLY.

if you don't understand...it'll be beaten into you....either through religion or violence...take your pick...

i can't help but wonder...how many other teens have had this type of thing happen to them?

julie said...

@DiosaNegra1967,

I hear what you are saying and I am saddened that you have had a bad experience. It is not easy for our elders to change so fast. No matter what our colour.

i guess it's never too young to learn as a black female, you are not allowed the freedom to explore your sexuality...you are to be touched sexually by males ONLY.

May I please shed some light as to white women and heterosexuals? I hope you said yes, lol. It may or may not be the same for WOC.

In the 50's TV was just coming into the homes. Women like my grandmother and mother (even the 1960/1970s) were not told about sex. It was a taboo subject. And neither were men. That is why being a virgin was important and why older men took young men to prostitutes to teach them.

Sex was frightening for both men and women and neither wanted to let the other down. But men were expected to pretend they were in control but really they weren't. They too were conditioned.

But a very brave women came on TV (1960s) and told women about sex. And how they could enjoy it. It taught the men too.

Before then women were told when they were married to just lay there, look at the ceiling and think about what they were going to cook for dinner the next night or another subject.

50 years, that is what we are talking about. Here we are 50 years later having men hanging around playgrounds looking to have sex with boys, schools with females saying, "I love my vagina and I want sex with a woman because I hate men."

How can you be so disrespectful?

Men brought forward the radio and TV and the Internet and yet we blame then for everything from the past.

It is not that men hated you as a woman nor our older women hated you. They weren't given the choices you have now.

Some of them still don't even know how to use a mobile phone let alone the computer.

This is all advancement. Technology brouhgt all this forward. Just think for a moment how life would have been for the men and women of the past if they had the Technlogy today that we have.

Don't be (please don;t be so naive) as to what goes on in this world.

Did you know that Oprah is controlled by the National Women's Organisation? Did you now that she is given women cases from them and if she speaks anything they don't want to hear that she will be disowned by them?

And have you read her ebsite where white women are blackmailing her that they won't be watching her show because she backed Obama?

Please don't hate your culture and your people. That is what Marxist rely on.

If there was anything as a whitish women I could give to you it would be, "Don't be blackmailed as we have!"

Danny said...

What the grandmother did is so wrong, why because we all know that teenage boys have sex with their girlfriends in their mothers home all the time and boys would never get in trouble,...

If you think that teenage boys never get in trouble for that stuff then you don't know teenage boys that well.

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