Monday, July 14, 2008

Erykah Badu Close Your Legs

Erykah Badu announced that she is pregnant with her third child. Normally the news of an impending baby is met with joy, but in the case of Ms.Badu it has led to discipline from many in the so-called black community.  Erykah is unmarried, and each one of her children has a different father.

People are quick to jump on Erykah and call her a whore, and a slut yet there is no mention of men like P Diddy with his multiple children, by multiple women. It seems that when a man reproduces at will it is not problematic, but for black women to be understood as a role model they must present a virginal image to the public;  indeed this is not only true in terms of WOC but refers to all women.  It actually calls to mind Valentis latest book, "He's Stud, She's A Slut". This is one of the most damaging social constructions for women, as ultimately it assigns power over the female body to men.

Currently access to abortion and birth control are being challenged. Pro- lifers engage in ridiculous hyperbole about how many children have been lost to contraception, and healthcare plans cover Viagara and not the Pill.  Discursively fertility remains an issue that is constantly being disciplined and controlled. When women are able to control their reproduction they are better able to compete for jobs, thus assuring economic security. When women are able to provide for the subsistence needs of themselves and their children, dependency on men reduces, and so in an attempt to maintain male hegemony, women who reproduce without permission are referred to as sluts, and whores. 

Ms.Badu from the outside would seem like  a candidate that the moral police would love. Rather than having an abortion, she is having children. Their discontent with Ms.Badu is that she "fails" to confine the paternity of her children.  The very point of restricting birth control and abortion is to enforce the patriarchal family.  When a woman has children without male guardianship she is necessarily flouting convention, pregnancy and child baring is meant to enslave a woman. Erykah is a successful artist and a mother, she is a living example that female headship of a family is not necessarily incompatible with happiness and security.  To encourage other women not to invoke the same right to self determination she is a branded a whore, and is accused of not being a good mother.  By this standard the only good mother is the virgin Mary, one cannot be a sexual being and be responsible for raising children unless you happen to possess testicles.  This conversation was not begun with Erykah and it will not end with her. Until as a society we can agree that women should have autonomy over their bodies and reproduction, taunts of slut and whore will continue to crop up.  We as women must continue to fight patriarchal oppression and claim our bodies as our own.  The following  VIA BrownSister is Erykahs response to her online attack. 

"peace,
HOW DARE YOU DISRESPECT THE QUEENDOM

…AND MY CHILDREN AND MY INTELLIGENCE.

ive never been so disgusted in all of my life .
there is no other place i used to enjoy more .
i post no where else .
you guys have taken an all time low , tho.

I’LL STATE MY PEACE

i am a great mother and care giver to my 2 children and to this world .
my children are 2 of the kindest and happiest people i have met.
I home schooled them and taught them the ways of good to the best of my ability.
i am their doctor and their nurse .
and even sometimes their mother and their father.

i am an excellent mother and resent all of the negative comments and insults on my character.
I PUT MUCH TIME AND THOUGHT INTO HAVING AND RAISING MY CHILDREN.
IVE HAD THE HONORS OF HAVING 2 HOME BIRTHS AND 2 WONDERFUL PARTNERS BY MY SIDE.

every relationship i have been in was because i loved the person DEARLY and was dedicated to us “exclusively” FOR A NUMBER OF YEARS.

the fathers of my children are my brothers and friends .
we have a great deal of respect for one another and always will.
WE LOVE OUR CHILDREN TO NO END.
we took our own “vows” and CONTINUE TO UPHOLD THEM.
AND THAT IS WHAT THAT IS .

question?
WHAT IS MARRIAGE ?
WHO IS THE JUDGE?
WE ONLY UNDERSTAND THE EXAMPLES WE ARE GIVEN ( well sort of)

WOULD IT “LOOK BETTER ” TO MARRY AND DIVIORCE AND MARRY AGAIN ?
WOULD THAT BE MORALLY CORRECT ?
WHATS THE DIFFERENCE ? the government’s involvement i guess.
IDEALLY , IT WOULD BE EXCELLENT TO FIND THE MAN OR WOMAN WHO FULFILLS YOUR SPIRIT AND STAY FOR EVER AND EVER ( thru sickness and health till death do us part ) AND HAVE HEALTHY STRONG CHILDREN AS A RESULT OF A HEALTHY AND STRONG UNION.
(this CAN happen … we need much training , however.)

OR

IS IT REALLY “GOOD” TO STAY IN A RELATIONSHIP WHERE BOTH PARTIES ARE UNFULFILLED , LONGING FOR RELIEF , BRINGING one another down as a result of improper training , creating BAD ENERGY AND EXPERIENCES FOR THE CHILD TO REPEAT ?
(not to mention breeding deceit and anger and resentment )
SEEMS TO CREATE FEARFUL CHILDREN WHO TURN INTO FEARFUL ADULTS .

HOW MANY OF YOU GREW UP IN 2 PARENT HOMES THAT WERE MISERABLE AS FUCK ?
OR 2 PARENT HOMES THAT WERE NOT PERFECT BUT WORKED?
HOW MANY GREW UP IN ONE PARENT HOMES WHERE THE MOTHER WORKED HARD TO MAKE SURE YOU WERE CARED FOR BUT SHE WASNT QUITE HAPPY?
HOW ABOUT A HOME WHERE THE FATHER WAS THE MAIN CARE GIVER AND DID THE BEST HE COULD -LACKING NURTURE?
HOW MANY OF YOU HAVE A SIBLING THAT HAS A DIFFERENT FATHER OR MOTHER?
DOES HE OR SHE MEAN LESS TO YOU?
HOW MANY OF YOU HAVE MORE THAN 1 MOTHER OR FATHER OF YOUR OWN CHILDren ?
HOW MANY OF YOU HAD /OR / ARE PARENTS RESPONSIBLE ENOUGH TO MAKE GOOD DECISIONS FOR YOURSELF AND YOUR CHILDREN ,THAT DONT QUITE FIT ANY OF THESE DESCRIPTIONS?
HOW MANY OF YOU STAY IN UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS FOR FEAR OF GOING TO HELL?
HOW MANY HOS OUT THERE … THAT HAVE KIDS TO GET A PAYDAY?
HOW MANY PEOPLE GETTING THEY ASS KICKED AND ARE FORCED TO SUBMIT CAUSE YO MAMA GOT HER ASS KICKED?
THEN WHAT is CORRECT?

how about this:

I PRAY WITH MY CHILDREN
I FEED THEM GOOD FOOD
THEY RESPECT PEOPLES DIFFERENCES
THEY TRAVEL THE WORLD WITH ME
THE KNOW WHO THEY ARE
THEY ADORE THEIR FATHERS AND ARE LOVED BY 2 PARENTS OR MORE -
OR TWO OR MORE SETS OF LOVING GRANDPARENTS
THEY CRY
THEY GET HURT
THEY GET SICK
THEY HEAL

THEY ARE real

THEY ARE NOT AN IDEA or a TOPIC
AND NEITHER AM I .
I AM ALIVE .
I AM BEAUTIFUL WOMAN.
I AM A GOOD WOMAM.
I AM GROWING
I AM COMPLETE WITH OR WITHOUT A PARTNER AND WILL ALWAYS BE
AND I HAVE DREAMS OF A FAMILY STRUCTURE
ALL OF MY DREAMS DO NOT COME TRUE
AND DESPITE ALL OF THE PAIN IN MY LIFE …
IN MY MOTHERS LIFE …
IN MY GRANDMOTHERS LIFE
WE HAVE ALWAYS ENDURED
AND THERE IS SO MUCH JOY TO BE EXPERIENCED.
I NEVER HAD A FATHER AND I DONT KNOW WHAT THAT FEELS LIKE -
BUT MY CHILDREN DO , AND THEY LOVE THEIR ‘PARENTS’ .

WE ARE THEIR CHAMPIONS .

live how you want . follow which ever pattern YOU like .
MY CHILDREN WILL BE LEADERS
and they will not ever be slaves to this society’s failing idea of morality.
THEY OWN THEIR MINDS AND THEIR DREAMS.

BIRTH CONTROL lol … could have 10 babies instead of 2 .

I LOVE CHILDREN AND I WILL HAVE AS MANY AS GOD WILL GIVE ME .

I AM VERY HEALTHY AND RESPONSIBLE AND SO ARE ALL OF MY PARTNERS

I CHOSE THEM WISELY AND SOBERLY .

ALL GOOD BROTHERS .

your opinions lack experience and are not only careless but also very uninformed and immature.

nothing is sacred here . and i see why.

if i loose you as a fan because i want to continue to have children then
FUCK OFF… WHO NEEDS YOU ….CERTAINLY NOT ME … KICK ROCKS … CALL TYRONE … PACK LIGHT …. BITE ME

i have defended myself here ON THIS SITE and hurled a few insults .. but only in response to your insults of
my music , my clothes , my lyrics , my hair , my being a woman , my spirit, my choices of partners….
these have all been on trial here . and i continued to support the energy of this place .

this is to all the okay players / REAL HUMAN BEINGS hiding behind screen names in order to insult one another and who ever else you will.

geeeez…
i had to say something
i am so sad for parents who try , today guys
enough is enuf.

dont judge to quickly , OKAY PLAYER?

i know you are having fun , but what if it were you and your children?
my son is 10 .
my daughter, 4 .

peace

ANALOGUE GIRL

and if this post is not clear
kiss my placenta."

Tell it my sister...nobody owns you but you!


15 comments:

Ebony Intuition said...

Thanks for this post , its so true people are so quick to ridicule a black women if she has a child and is unwed..

Umm if im not correct Angelina Jolie just had twins and is not married to Brad Pitt, but all over the internet everyone is so excited about the arrival..HMMM i wonder why is it because to more children who lack pigmentation are coming into the world. People are happy when anyone but a W.O.C has a child, and its so obvious.

My father has 6 kids altogether by 4 different women but know one ridicules him.

TinaH said...

All right Ms. Badu, that was awesome!

tanglad said...

Hah! Ms. Badu's reply made me happy. The moral police often makes the false argument that fatherless kids are a drain on taxpayer resources. She's a successful artist, so her situation who doesn't even fit the stereotype, but she still gets attacked. I shouldn't be surprised, considering the long history in the Americas of the demonization of fecund minority mothers. But it's still unbelievable.

Ebony Intuition said...

@ tanglad

"The moral police often makes the false argument that fatherless kids are a drain on taxpayer resources. She's a successful artist, so her situation who doesn't even fit the stereotype, but she still gets attacked."

Good point she doesn't even fit the stereotype but yet she is getting attacked..

Larry Geater said...

The solution is to hold men to a higher standard. Not women to a lower one.

Larry Geater said...

==My father has 6 kids altogether by 4 different women but know one ridicules him.==
I do. Fidelity is a virtue and promisquity a vice regardless of your gender.

Melissa McEwan said...

To encourage other women not to invoke the same right to self determination she is a branded a whore, and is accused of not being a good mother.

So well said. What an excellent post.

And I was going to make the same point as tanglad -- but was beaten to the punch. ;-)

Sarah said...

Thank you. Great post and eloquently stated. I love your blog and read it daily.
@ larry geater
"==My father has 6 kids altogether by 4 different women but know one ridicules him.==
I do. Fidelity is a virtue and promisquity a vice regardless of your gender."
Not sure exactly what you mean by promiscuity, but I don't think that having sexual relations with more than one person is a vice or even means that one doesn't have fidelity. It is all about how openly and respectfully it is done and about the agreements and arrangements that those engaging in sex have. It may not work for you, but that doesn't mean that it is necessarily negative.

Larry Geater said...

Sarah

I agree that there is no ethical breach if there is no deceit and everyone fulfils their parental responsibilities. Most men who have six kids by four women have not met these standards. I am quick to ridicule my fellow men who claim that men cannot or should not be faithfull. When a man promises to be faithfull he has a choice of being faithfull or being a lying scumbag. There is no middle ground. We are not dogs who are controlled by our instincts. We have volition.

I am continualy amazed at women who will knowingly go out with a man tht they know was unfaithfull in the past. If he will cheat on her he will cheat on you.

30y/owhiteguy said...

you go, erykah!

Chic Noir said...

Her children are ones who will suffer.

Renee said...

@Chic noir only because of small minded people

Anonymous said...

This a big load of you-know-what. Had Ms. Badu been married, had a child, divorced and re-married, had another child, and then did the same once more no one would bat an eye. So, it's ok to have multiple partners IF you're "married". And divorce is no biggie. But god forbid a stable, mature, and financially independant woman DARES to have children out of wedlock. Of course, that removes men from the equation and men don't like that.

August said...

"Kiss my placenta" is terrific. I'm going to have to remember that.

Anonymous said...

Nah, she's a whore, and so is any women who insists on "sexual freedom".. Lol, fuck that feminist shit, whore I tell you