Saturday, July 5, 2008

I Have Breasts

Recently I got into a cab with my partner and two kids, Mayhem and Destruction.  I was entering the front passengers side of the cab, when I noticed that the driver could not keep his eyes off of my breasts.  The whole five minute drive to our destination he continually glanced over at my breasts.  Now I will admit that I have a great set, however staring at me for over five minutes like some kind of drooling horny toad, in the presence of my children was beyond demeaning.  The only reason I did not explicitly  tell him about himself, was because  I did not want my children to hear what I was thinking.

I can already hear you apologists telling me  how natural it is for a man to look at a woman, or that I was probably wearing something revealing to draw his attention.  Perhaps you believe that I should walk around dressed like one of those FLDS cult women in lavender from head to toe, with a ridiculous two foot bun.  The issue however is not me, the issue are these disgusting predatory men in this society, who think that they have a right to treat women like we are here exclusively for their satisfaction.  The issue is that he felt that he had the right to reduce me to a sexual object for his pleasure.

It is summer time now, and women are wearing light summer dresses and shorts.  This is prime hunting season for the perverts. A few years ago in Ontario, a man was arrested after hiding down the hole of an outhouse so that he could leer at women while they used the facilities...The local media reported it like it was a hilarious comedy routine, because he was covered in shit, and not one word was said about the privacy of the victims that had been lost. Every year some pervert is caught with a camera that he has used to take obscene pictures of unsuspecting women. This is not a joke, we are not flattered, and no we did not bring this upon ourselves. Women should be able to live our daily lives without constantly being leered at by some disgusting man.  I don't want to hear the bullshit excuse about how men are visually stimulated either.  This is about the right that some men feel that they have to reduce us to objects for their gratification; this is about the imbalance of power in our society.

The forgiveness that we give these "helpless" leering assholes is the foundation that our rape apologist culture is built on.  We say things like, "it's only boys being boys", as though it is just some victimless game. It is not a far escalation to go from leering at a woman inappropriately, to taking physical action against her person.  Somehow the argument is always reduced to how we must have brought it upon ourselves, either by our sexually suggestive clothing, or behaviour. Take note perverts, I could be  wearing nothing but what I came into the world with, and that still would not give you the right to reduce me to an object.

I have a suggestion for all of you leering assholes, who think that this is some fun summer pass time, akin to baseball or lacrosse,... Return to the hole that you climbed out of, and allow the descent people to get on with it. Enter a permanent state of hibernation because you really don't add anything to the world anyway. You are nothing but oxygen thieves, breathing perfectly good air that should be left for those of us that actually add value to society, and in case I have not gotten my point across clearly enough....Fuck the hell off.


28 comments:

Cat Ion said...

Right on.

For all the talk in this country about "personal responsibility", people sure do think women (and not the pervs who oogle/harass/rape them) are the ones responsible for the behavior -- the old "they brought it upon themselves" canard.

julie said...

It is not nice to have men or women treating you this way especially when you are with your family.

I guess if you noticed it so did your partner. What does he think, I wonder?

I speak up about things like this too but I can see why you didn't and I wouldn't have in that situation either.

But it does show what we are up against. It does show how when many females are pole dancing for money, men can decide we are full of shit asking to not be seen as sex objects.

I don't know the answer to this one. But I would love to hear what others think.

Scott said...

@Julie

I was in the back seat busy with the mahem and destruction so I didn't notice the gawking. Had i seen I probably wouyld have said take a photo, it will last longer.

She does have a nice rack tho ;0

Look I'm a man and I admit I do look, but I don't linger. Some men just don't have class. IMO its ok to glance, but to stare for a long time is rude.

julie said...

That's a fine comment back Scott. Thanx.

BTW, I think you and Renee must be characters calling your sons Mayhem and Destruction.

That is neat and would be enjoyable for your children.

Ebony Intuition said...

Good post, I'm glad you wrote about this because I was actually going to ask you a ? that is similar to what you stated.

"The issue is that he felt that he had the right to reduce me to a sexual object for his pleasure"

Like you mentioned above men feel that they have the right to reduce a women to a sexual object for their own pleasure.

So how do you respond or react if a women or man who is gay/lesbian also did the same thing?

The reason why I ask this question is I just came home from a Caribbean Pagent that my friend took part in and several ladies were sitting behind me and my friends. One of the females behind us is a lesbian and when the swimsuit section was taking place, the female was "acting like a man" and making rude and sexual gestures about the females on stage, she reduced them to sexual objects.

And it really really bothered me, so I am suppose to ignore what the female did because she is a lesbian? Because what she did was wrong regardless of her sexual preference.

blue milk said...

What a fabulous rant! Loved it. And this is what you could do next time.. http://hollabackcanada.blogspot.com/

Renee said...

@ebony it is wrong to make anyone feel less than and it does not matter who does it. Lesbians do not have the right to reduce other women because of sexual preference. Just because they love women does not mean that they have not internalized patriarchal values.

Renee said...

I didn't even know we had a hollaback Canada thanks for the tip!

Jack Payne said...

Would you stiff-arm a dirty old man, and chastise him for his lewd thoughts? In my long lost youth, my (now deceased) wife was amply endowned, and constantly elicited "wolf whistles." She was always flattered by it, and, I must admit, I appreciated what other eyes appreciated. To each his own, I guess.

Renee said...

I would chastise anyone that attempted to reduce me to a sexual object. I don't find it gratifying or pleasurable in the least bit. As I said he only got away with it because I was with my children. It is not flattering to be treated like a piece of meat.

Theresa H. Hall said...

Someone should develop a TV program about how to be respectful toward another person. The do's and don'ts.

julie said...

I think Scott's comment was the best. Some men have class and some men don't.

As for lesbians. Some women have class and some women don't.

In fact, I am more afraid of lesbians that I am of men. There are no boundaries for lesbians.

We don't even get to hear how bad the homosexuals are because they are sooooo protected.

If a newspaper dared write something there is a world wide movement ready to pounce on them and sue them.

I can't stand PC. There is only one gender out of 11 that you can hold accountable and that is heterosexual men.

Renee said...

There are no boundaries for lesbians.

We don't even get to hear how bad the homosexuals are because they are sooooo protected.


Julie this borders on lesbophobic.

julie said...

@Renee,

I don't mind being boxed for my thoughts. Feminism has changed dramatically.

http://tinyurl.com/63azbz

But it is not just lesbian women I worry for. I also worry for straight women and the changes of all our young girls.

lindabeth said...

The issue is that he felt that he had the right to reduce me to a sexual object for his pleasure.

yes yes yes! right on

and very cool about hollaback canada, I too had no idea!

DiosaNegra1967 said...

@ ebony intuition: i've had more than enough "conversations" with lesbians about nasty behaviour toward women...and renee has it right: just because their lesbians doesn't mean they've not internalized patriarchal values....

Danny said...

And it really really bothered me, so I am suppose to ignore what the female did because she is a lesbian? Because what she did was wrong regardless of her sexual preference.


It doesn't matter who the gawker is (woman, gay, straight, etc...) or who the gawkie is (man, straight, gay, etc...). Its still wrong.

julie said...

@DiosaNegra1967 said...

ebony intuition: i've had more than enough "conversations" with lesbians about nasty behaviour toward women...and renee has it right: just because their lesbians doesn't mean they've not internalized patriarchal values....

This is a good point you have made.
And this is where the shoe is now on the other foot. I hear what you are saying but I see this from another angle.

There is no excuse for bad behaviour. I certainly won't be allowing someone to harm me just because of the Patriarchy.

Homoesexuals aren't discriminated against here in NZ and yet the radicals are trying to uprise them to hit the streets and push back because of Patriarchy.

The mainstream homosexuals themselves are saying, "No" and so are the funders. The only ones getting hurt over this are the homosexuals.

My friends are saying, "Shite, we are going backwards a whole decade".

Equality is not about being victims! It is about empowerment!IMO

jerry schaefer said...

I appreciate a woman's beauty but I'm very sensitive as to whether or not she wants to be "appreciated." The least indication that she's uncomfortable (a hostile or even indifferent glance) would be enough to stop my eyes in their tracks.

The man described, who couldn't stop looking, obviously has a serious problem and has never been properly weaned.

Anonymous said...

"The whole five minute drive to our destination he continually glanced over at my breasts. Now I will admit that I have a great set, however staring at me for over five minutes like some kind of drooling horny toad, in the presence of my children was beyond demeaning."

Beyond demeaning and could have been deadly! Drivers should keep their eyes on the road!

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