Motherhood is a huge part of my identity. I know that it is something that a lot of women would never consider doing, let's face it, it is hard work and not everyone is cut out to do it...I love Mayhem and Destruction with everything that I have, but I think that it is time that I be allowed to change my damn tampon in peace. I have accepted the fact that peeing will not be a solitary act for years to come, but I am drawing the line when it comes to my moon time.
I am not one of those women that feels the need to hide my period from those that I am in intimate contact with. I regularly and openly talk about my period because it is a natural part of my life as a woman. It is my hope that I will raise boys that are open, sensitive and respectful to this so called "icky" time of the month.
As a lone woman living with three males, I put up with a lot of talk about berries, pills, testicles and my favourite "the boys". For the amount of male drama that goes on, you would think that for the five days a month, that I need to spend 3 minutes in the bathroom by myself, that would be ok...ummm...no...guess again. Mayhem the 2 1/2 year old has a fetish for eating toilet paper and whenever he has the chance, is quick to steal a roll. I cannot tell you how many half eaten rolls of toilet paper I found throughout the house. This drives his father insane as he insists on buying the "good stuff" for his ever so sensitive ass. Destruction always seems to need to go the minute I am in there, or he discovers some extremely important fact to explain to me about Backugon, Yugi Oh, or Pokemon.
I have tried announcing that I am off to the bathroom before I go, so that they will have a chance to express themselves before I approach the throne, but it has been to no avail. So in a fit of absolute frustration I demanded a new lock be placed on the bathroom door. I felt sure that now that my children were frustrated in their efforts to accompany me to the bathroom, that for the first time in years, I might actually get to experience my long awaited Calgon moment (yes I know I am dating myself) but once again...nope, zilch, nada. They now stand outside and shout through a closed door their need for my attention.
Here is the part that gets me about the whole thing. Their father could be in the bathroom long enough to drown in the toilet and neither would feel the need to check on him. Their only concern is the quality of "work" produced in the bathroom. I have talked to other women who are in similar situations to me and they have reported that it is pretty much the same for them. While my new lock does not stop me from hearing them, it has at least assured me the right of every woman living with three males, the right to change my damn tampon in peace.
If you enjoyed this post please check out my new blog....It is called MOM Said Dad Said. It is about the zany adventure that Scott (aka eggplant head) and I have raising mayhem and destruction. Scott and I try to laugh our way through the most awkward of situations and so I hope that you will come and laugh with us. P.S If you think Eggplanthead is wrong don't be afraid to speak up...wink, wink. nudge, nudge...