Thursday, August 28, 2008

Areola Reductions, The Path To Perfect Boobies

One of the joys of being born female in this world is learning that no matter how how much you watch your diet, exercise or invest in simulacres beauty treatments your body will always be imperfect.  The medical establishment has profited from this constructed insecurity by offering several operations to correct natures flaws.  If you have enough money you can have a designer vagina.  It does not matter that it may function just as nature intends, what matters is that it could be prettier, it could be tighter.  So what if you can have an orgasm, if the dick that penetrates you isn't satisfied you cannot possibly be happy.  Real women want tight holes, even the lesbians....

Of course the medical establishment is not happy with only making you panic about image the unnatural looseness of your twat, you now have to be concerned about the size and shape of your areola.  What if they are too large?  What if they are too puffy?  All women are supposed to come out of the factory with a barbie like shape, and if you fall short of that ideal something is wrong with you. As a true woman it is your responsibility to fix these faults. It is a small price to pay to achieve perfection.

According to the website of Dr. Romano, the procedure involves the following.

    • Usually a very light general anesthesia, and the procedure takes about two hours.
    • The procedure involves an incision around the areola edge and a smaller incision with removal of the excess tissue in between, like a donut.
    • The incision is very inconspicuous and located around the final edge of the areola.
    • Dressings and a light gauze bandage are worn for several days.
    • This can be combined with other plastic surgical procedures.

Are you convinced yet?  Well perhaps the results will make you realize that you need to correct this fault.  After his handiwork these are the results that you can expect.

    • Beautiful, balanced and proportioned contour and size and shape to the nipples and areola.
    • Lasts the rest of your life and always looks better than if you didn't do it.
    • Natural and presentable appearance in the first week that just gets better over the next three to six months.

I guess the breasts that we grew when we entered puberty came with some kind of expiry date. Well if you are rapidly reaching your best before date, the medical establishment has the answer for you. Get the fat sucked out of your ass, get your vagina tightened and while you are at it don't forget to get your areola fixed. 


Petra Voegtle said...

Again and again I am astonished about the stupidities "humans" are taking on themselves deliberately. This might be the sign of total d├ęcadence. And we all know what happens in nature and evolution...

outcrazyophelia said...

Wow. I distinctly remember being 10 years old and realizing that my breasts looked nothing like the women's in the porno magazines. My areolas were indeed much bigger and much darker (that's a whole nother kettle of fish) than theirs. It's really disheartening that they're trying to convince us that the problem lies with us and not with the unrealistic standards of porn. Hell I recall seeing a woman who got her labia trimmed because she thought they were ugly. These things don't happen in a vacuum yet everyone pretends as if the media doesn't color our expectations about the female body.

Mountain Woman said...

It is so sad when women buy into a preconceived idea of what is beautiful. I think the most beautiful women are the ones who are themselves. I think there are more important matters in the world to worry about than those you described.
And shame on the doctors and the medical establishment too. They should use their skills and talents in other ways.

Arum said...

Never mind, look on the bright side. There's really not much left of us for them to demand we hate, is there? Labia, areola - we're pretty much down to the minutae now. Maybe next it will be a way to make our ovaries into a patriarchy approved display of prettiness?

Liza said...

thanks for the ec drops and your comment. for you..

have a great weekend!

Lisa Harney said...

I think my areola are intended targets of his advertising, but I like them the way they are.

Plus, that picture actually brought tears to my eyes. I am in sympathetic pain.

Your beauty posts are going to kill me at this rate, Renee - still, I do appreciate you posting them.

Elena said...

I agree with Lisa, that picture was so hard to look at. As a breastfeeding mom I know that the larger and darker the areola is the easier it is for a newborn to see. But hey, to hell with biology, right? Nope, what matters is whether we match the airbrushed Playboy image.