Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Give Me Some Of Those Old Time Cosby Morals

image Who amongst us is not familiar with Americas favourite dad, Bill Cosby?  The award winning comedian and father has made it his mission in recent years to save the black community.  His arguments are all about blaming the poor for being poor, and forcing black women to capitulate to the black male patriarchy. The world was better when man was the head of the household and everyone knew their place.   He has been peddling his anti-woman, classist message from sea to shining sea.   That he continues to be worshipped as a beacon of truth is proof of the degree that we have internalized the false doctrine of meritocracy. That womens organizations continue to give him a platform is proof of the acceptability of slut shaming in our so called sexually liberated world.

In The Forum For Dark Secrets, Bill Cosby lectured, to every girl that there is always an alternative to what’s popular -- and that sex, the right way, is worth waiting for. Yes young girls must certainly remember that the time to have sex is when daddy has walked you down the isle; then and only then is it okay for you to be a sexual being.  Your virginity is precious and just because you may be experiencing sexual desire, having sex is simply not acceptable.  Young girls  need to understand that their bodies don't belong to them, they belong to their future husbands. 

"If you’re 13, 14, 15 and you have sex, this is not gourmet stuff," he said. "Nobody’s buying you a bottle of wine and candlelight and putting some romantic music on. No, you’re in the clothes closet or down near the dryer or dishwasher saying, ‘Hurry up before my mother comes home.’ That’s why you don’t know the boy’s name."

Young women are not participating in sex because they might desire it.  Women only submit to sex when they have been appropriately bought and paid for. Black girls need to hold out for a man with money to pay for their services, because sex is essentially women selling their bodies to the highest bidder. 

"Now let me tell you the pitiful part. The child you’re now pregnant with? Neither you nor Peewee are pleased with having this child. ... If you never dreamt of having this child, how are you going to think lovingly of raising it?"

Right, if the pregnancy is accidental you cannot possibly love this child.  A child only has a chance if they are painstakingly planned for. In other words stop producing little bastards. Submit damn it, marriage is the path to salvation.

At that point, he said, the girl is "knocked up" and her "beautiful mind is knocked off the right track" -- "and your mother wants to knock your block off."

Of course it does not occur to the man to scream just as loudly for programs that would allow young single mothers to continue their education.  How about a little socialized day care Bill?  Just because a woman has had a child out of wedlock does not mean that her life is over if she is given the appropriate support. I know that it is hard to believe but as important as motherhood can be in the life of a woman, it does not encompass the totality of her being.  I may be a mother but I also play many roles.

"In my time, it wasn’t a perfect time, but it was tough trying to get some," he said. "Women interviewed you: ‘What high school did you graduate from?’ ‘Well, right now? Uh,’ ’No, good-bye.’ "

The little sluts of today just give it away like candy.  In the good old days before reliable birth control women knew better. Now that you are free to have sex like wild animals you have lost all sense of self.  In his day women were never whores.  The world was balanced, men chased and the good girls said no. Of course there is nothing wrong with men actively seeking to have sex, hey that just comes with a penis.

Bill Cosby is a member of the Black afrostocracy. He is not interested in helping people, he is only interested in shaming people into conforming to norms that are not necessarily in their best interest.  While he unashamedly lectures women about refraining from being sexually active, he neglects to mention that he paid a woman not to reveal that he had possibly fathered a child outside of his blessed wedlock.  He recently settled a civil suit wherein a woman charged that he drugged and sexually assaulted her.  I guess she didn't understand that because he had money he was entitled to access to her body. Maybe this is why he is intent on telling young black women to hold out for a fat wallet. The more women that can be convinced that their bodies should be available to the thickest wallet, the more victims he will have.

When he speaks about the poor letting the civil rights movement down I must question where was his devotion when Dick Greggory, a fellow comedian was including race into his stand up routines and actively marching? He wasn't down with the black community then.  He was busy telling the world that he was simply a human being, denying the struggle that blacks were undergoing to have their human worth recognized.  Today in his senior years he is seeking to redeem the lack of action of his younger days.  Even if he were take every single dollar he earned peddling jello and invest it into poor communities it will not make up for his failure to answer the call to civil rights.  That you preach unity now does not erase the fact that in your youth you saw only the glint of gold and not the tears of suffering and true degradation.  And so I say to you Mr.Cosby in the words of a comedian who knew what honesty was, "Have a coke and a smile and shut the fuck up."



A. said...

I've had so many arguments with people over this abstinence thing, mainly on practical grounds. I'm all right with it being put forward as one method of birth control if that is what a person wants, but it should never be promoted as the only or even the best way, thereby leaving them unprepared if they have a change of heart, and labelling them as somehow "fallen" if they do.

Of course my particular hobby horse is that development aid shouldn't insist on promoting abstinence, other than as an alternative. One culture shouldn't be forcing its perspective on another in return for help, in my view.

Arum said...

While I agree with your general point about the denial and demonisation of female sexual agency, from the bits you've quoted, Cosby doesn't seem to be talking about women's sexuality, he's talking about children. Children, by definition, cannot consent to sexual activity. There are a whole host of good reasons for preventing children from being used sexually, even when they 'want' it. A two year old may be perfectly capable of walking, and may love the idea of going off to the sweetie shop on his own, but you're not actually going to give him 50p and wave him goodbye, are you? Just because a child has the physical capacity and desire to do something doesn't mean that a responsible parent allows it - adults are able to see all sorts of dangers and problems that kids can't see. Protecting children from their own naivity and the predetory actions of adults is a core parental responsibility. Shrugging our shoulders and handing out condoms isn't protecting girls or boys. In the course of my work, I routinely see kids who've been badly psychologically damaged by early sexual activity. Kids who engage in sexual activity are usually the most vulnerable kids - the ones who argue with their parents, bunk off school, start to get lost to society - it's not some romantic teen lurve, it's a desperate attempt to get affection and attention. Talking about 'agency' in this context is meaningless - they are ripe for exploitation, and are being abused by people, adults or other children, with a twisted agenda. They need protection, not a round of applause for their right-on discovery of their nascent sexuality.

I honestly don't know what the answer is, but the sexualisation of children has to stop. A person's sexuality should be allowed to mature free from interference from predators - be they advertisers trying to sell g-strings to eight year olds, adults who thrive on abusing children's bodies, or peers pulling the whole "but all my mates have 'done it', if you really loved me you'd let me do it to you" routine. Cosby's approach is kak-handed and facile. However, I can see where he's coming from. In my city, we've got an excellent access to education programme for girls who get pregnant. However, keeping her in school doesn't negate the fact that she is a child with a baby. There is very little chance she will achieve the potential she could have achieved if she had not had the baby, which has implications for both mother and baby. Mopping-up projects are all very well, but we need to try and stop the spillage in the first place. Let children grow to adulthood before they start engaging in adult activities, and their life chances and personal happiness will be much greater.

Guy Vestal said...

"Black afrostocracy" just about sums it all up for ol' Fat Albert...

J E LL O !

Renee said...

@Arum if a 15 year old is willfully engaging in sex with another 15 year old it is not abuse. I think the problem here is the refusal to accept young people as sexual beings.

Rich Dansereau said...

I concur that there is a difference between consensual sex between two teenagers and a forty year old coercing and/or forcing sexual abuse on a teenager. To deny that teenagers are sexual beings is to invite riskier sexual behaviors that could lead to increased teen pregnancy, STD's, abuse, low self-esteem, etc.

Cosby has seriously missed the boat, or maybe it ran him over! Just because he played a caring, enlightened, and respected character on TV does not mean he should in real life be ascribed those traits. Did Cosby think that Dr. Angelou was referring to some man's penis in her poem "And Still I Rise"? Does he think the sexuality she is referring to was a man's? I must say that his misogynist comments do not speak for all men; in fact they embarrass the majority of us. It is a shame that he can reduce leaders like Barbara Jordan, Ann Richards, and Hillary Clinton to sexual objects whose real worth is in the value they can get for their sexuality. He is the one who should feel shame.

Arum said...

I think it's a mistake to assume that just because two 15 year olds are having sex, it's automatically a relationship between equal peers. There can be a huge power imbalance between children, even of the same age.

I accept I'm really jaded because I just see the fall-out, but I think the research evidence backs up my view. Children from stable homes, where they get boundaries, love and attention, do not tend to engage in early sexual activity, just like they don't tend to get involved with drugs or drink alcohol to excess. Unhappy kids have sex. This is not a good thing.

I'm certainly opposed to the idea of children as 'sexual beings'. Children have a sexuality, but it is unformed and developing, they do not have a formed sexual identity. Hell, I know people who didn't even realise they were gay at 14, and sexual orientation is a fairly key plank in any sexual identity. Early sexual activity interferes with the development process, and can distort and damage what should have emerged. Add to that the statistic (from memory) that about 64% of under-14s who reported a sexual relationship also reported physical abuse in that relationship, and you have a pretty poisonous picture of kids engaging in behaviours that they are totally ill-equipped to handle.

Brother OMi said...

About Cosby:

I think you might want to talk to Dick Gregory about him. Many people don't know that behind the scenes, Cosby gave money and support to several causes. People failed to realize that his wife, Dr. Camille Cosby, is a powerhouse and would not have let him sleep if he didn't. Dr. Cosby, a life long educator, has helped put together several inner city programs to help the downtrodden. Cosby has been the brother who has helped put money or find money to put in.

Cosby has helped several young black male and female artists, activists, and business people on. Many people owe their careers to him.

I can't knock Cosby for his short comings. Thats a matter he and his wife have to deal with. at the end of the day, if one was to lay his resume down, his work effort on our behalf cannot be disputed.

While I have no issues with being critical of some of his ideas, I find it unfair to dismiss him and irresponsible to neglect his work.

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