Sunday, August 3, 2008

Kyle Payne: No Forgiveness For You

image Awhile ago I posted about Kyle Payne a so-called feminist ally who turned out to be a rapist..that's right a rapist. He wilfully exposed a womans breast and took pictures, and video.  Today he sent out a mass e-mail announcing that he had a statement to make.  I am late posting a response simply because I could not decide whether or not I actually wanted to read what he had to say.  In truth, there is nothing that he could say that would explain his behaviour, or cause me to have any kind of sympathy for him.

I write this letter in the interest of dropping barriers, sharing openly and honestly a story that is very difficult to talk about, in hopes that doing so may bring peace, understanding, and hope to the lives of others

Yeah like a rapist shit could actually inspire hope in anyway. The only thing this man inspires is revulsion and disgust.

While caring for the female student, I felt a sudden impulse to expose her breast. Not knowing how to deal with this feeling at the time – and to put it more clearly, not knowing how to make sense of such an urge, given my personal values and my politics – I acted upon it.

A true ally doesn't feel the need to assault women in this manner.  If you were even a half way decent human being, what you would have done is gotten up and left the room...but personal responsibility does not apply to you, does it?

I owe a special apology as well to the many women who have sought my assistance as a rape crisis advocate and who, upon learning about my actions, may have experienced re-victimization. I believe my actions warrant everyone’s questioning of my character and of my ability and willingness to act in accordance with my own professed values. I will either earn trust back, or I won’t. That is not for me to decide. But I take this as an opportunity to speak openly and honestly and be held accountable for my actions.

Actually this little stunt is just an attempt to abdicate responsibility, and it is clear to all who have tarnished themselves to read it.  You will never earn the trust back of any woman, much less a feminist woman.  You are a rapist Kyle, own up to your actions.

I have faced a great deal of serious consequences of my criminal and unethical actions, all of them just and appropriate. I lost my job in residence life at a major research university, my university-owned apartment, in addition to my acceptance at an excellent graduate program in student affairs. I was unable to attend graduation at BVU, and since pleading guilty, I have been banned from campus for life. My reputation as a pro-feminist activist and an advocate for survivors has been seriously, and quite possibly irrevocably, compromised. I have been forced to leave several activist groups, including those for which I was a leader or founding member. I have also been the subject of intense scrutiny at BVU, in my hometown, in my professional and social networks, and all over the internet. With a criminal record, I will face serious limitations on my career prospects, as well as on my involvement with various social organizations and in personal relationships.

You deserve every bit of it too. This is part of taking responsibility for your actions...That is what you wanted right?

Recognizing what I feel to be my responsibility as a male ally to feminism, as well as a decent human being, I ask that any women reading this letter who wish to share their responses contact me via email

This is the part where  I completely fucking lose it..STOP CALLING YOURSELF AN ALLY YOU RAPIST SCUM. YOU ARE NOT A DECENT HUMAN BEING.  Allies don't do what you did. You are an affront to every decent man that I know.   At this point I am incapable of saying anything else that could be considered remotely coherent, so I am going to direct you to two women that are more eloquent than I when it comes to Kyle...check out Cara at The Curvature and Corvid Diaries.

12 comments:

Larry Geater said...

What he did was a sexual assault but it was not a rape according to your own post. When you call exposing someones breasts rape, you devalue the word rape. Words matter.

Renee said...

seriously Larry..he is a rapistIn fact I will call the sick twisted freak whatever the hell I want. Unless you are a survivor of rape you don't get to weigh in with me on this one.

Larry Geater said...

We agree that he is a "sick twisted freak". What he did is just as ofensive, and harmfull as rape but it is quite literaly not rape. Rape is a word with a clear unambiguous legal definition. For his crime (and it clearly was a crime) to be rape it must include "penetration no mater how slight".

Renee said...

Larry use whatever definition you want and I will stick with the one I want. To me a rapist is anyone who touches another sexually without permission..period, end of story.

Kevin Andre Elliott said...

Why is it that whenever the subject of violence against women comes up, everybody wants to grab their dictionary? When a guy kills another guy, you never hear, "well, technically it's not murder, it was manslaughter."

RockStories said...

Renee, by opting to call him "whatever the hell you want" you undermine the cause of every woman--every human--who wants rape to be taken seriously. Rape has a specific legal definition. To call someone a rapist when your own facts don't suggest that he's committed rape is simply a lie, whether it's one driven by outrage, emotion, or something more sinister...and a lie always gives "the other side" a wedge to work with, a reasonable means by which to dismiss everything that you say. I'm sure that there isn't a person on earth who would argue that what this man did was okay...to mischaracterize it in a manner designed to make it sound more dramatic than it was sends the chilling message that simply exposing a woman's breasts without her consent and taking photographs isn't sufficient to get us all outraged and we have to pretend he did something else if we expect people to object.

RockStories said...

@ Kevin Andre Elliott - I suspect that if a man punched another man in the nose and a bunch of headlines screamed that he'd murdered him, you'd hear much the same kind of objection that you're hearing here.

Renee said...

@rockstories are you even for real? Look we are not sitting in a court of law, this is a personal blog on which I will use whatever language I damn well feel like. Instead of questioning me, you should be following the links and calling this asshole out. He is the problem not me, and further more the sick shit plea bargained down and we have no idea exactly how much more he did and therefore considering his past dishonesty and the sexual nature of his crime I will refer to him as a rapist shit if I so desire..

Kevin Andre Elliott said...

@RockStories: I refuse to get into a discussion about definitions. It's not going to happen with me. My comment was an observation of a dynamic that I've noticed lately. So, this stops now. Like Renee, I feel my time is better spent exposing this asshole and making sure that he gets the punishment that he deserves.

belledame222 said...

The original charges included assault. That was dropped as part of the plea bargain. See.

Cooper said...

I just get a creepy feeling when I read this. I'm not bothering with his site this is clearly all I need.

Octogalore said...

I'm not sure what the venom about Renee's term is all about. As she says, this isn't a legal pleading, and the "other side" isn't going to use personal blogs as ammo. Clearly, Renee knows what the technical def is, as do we all. The best, and only legal, way for anyone to get retribution is in court, and obviously there no personal blog will affect what definitions apply to what remedies. Let's stop policing, please.