Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Not Near My Crotch

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This perfectly ghastly combination of vibrator and shaver is called The Womaniser.  "The magnificent Womaniser is not only smooth to the touch - it'll leave you smooth and strokable, too! This intimate shaver is hidden inside a single speed silicone massaging vibrator - the perfect combination for a night of orgasmic personal pleasure." Yeah for multi-tasking eh?  After you shave yourself to make sure that your body is appropriately smooth, you can just flip this little baby around and get down with the self pleasure.  Don't you just love the fact that even if you are masturbating you must make sure that your body is still smooth.  How can you possible get off if you happen to feel a hair on your own body? Gotta keep policing that muff.

For an extra 4 pounds you can image even get it beautifully gift wrapped.  MMM what's coming down the chimney tonight.

This gorgeously packaged toy includes:

- Sex toy and personal shaver

- Elegant safety cap and sealant ring

- Replaceable bullet motor (original lasts for up to 40 minutes)

- Additional shaving add-ons

- Bullet key (for removing the vibrator motor)

- Batteries

- User manual

This little gem is not the only product sold by this company.  Just to make sure that both sexes receive pleasure they also market drum roll please... a cock ring. HMM what gross little add ons are on the cock ring?  A switch blade maybe?  Some new way to make the penis pretty before it is put to use.

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Sorry to disappoint you, it is simply a vibrating cock ring. No fancy attachments associated with gender discipline or pain.  When it comes to a cock it is all about pleasure.  Only women would be "silly" enough to willingly put a knife near their crotches and smile pretty while they're doing it. How did I manage to have orgasms all these years without  a razor near my precious clit? But hey it comes in two pretty colours don't you feel reassured now?

H/T Feministing



26 comments:

Renegade Evolution said...

Um, I'd be afraid I'd cut myself, this seems like a very dangerous thing.

AR said...

The cockring might be all about pleasure, but isn't it about the woman's pleasure? I thought the main purpose of cock-rings is to extend the time a man can remain erect by restricting blood-flow out of the penis. Temporary penile strangulation so that you can keep pleasuring your partner long after you would normally be inclined to stop.

Their offerings seem egalitarian to me.

Danny said...

Temporary penile strangulation so that you can keep pleasuring your partner long after you would normally be inclined to stop.

I'm glad someone else has realized that.

Renee said...

@Danny and AR valid point if we believe that intercourse is the point of sex. Since the majority of women climax through clitoral stimulation rather than vaginal penetration whose ego is really being stroked?

elle said...

My first thought was voiced by Ren. Yikes!

AR said...

valid point if we believe that intercourse is the point of sex. Since the majority of women climax through clitoral stimulation rather than vaginal penetration whose ego is really being stroked?

I'm sensing some hostility here. But anyway, as to the question of who benefits from cockrings: the minority of women who climax through vaginal penetration, obviously.

zyzz said...

I thought that little pointy-egg-bit on that cockring was supposed to stimulate the clitoris during coitus. But I'm not a cockring expert by any means.

And jeebus is that vibrator scary. Eurgh.

Lisa Harney said...

Just thinking about that vibrator brings tears of panic to my eyes. OMG don't let that thing near me.

Mekhismom said...

That thing looks dangerous. Who comes up with this stuff?

frau sally benz said...

I thought that little pointy-egg-bit on that cockring was supposed to stimulate the clitoris during coitus.

That's what I thought too. Though, also not a cockring expert.

As for this damn thing- I saw it briefly on the front page of Feministing and thought it was some sort of joke. I mean, who really needs their vibrator to also shave? Who comes up with these things? Because I don't think I've ever said to myself "hmmm now that I've shaved, I really wish this razor would turn into a vibrator!"

Those are two things that should never be packaged together, and that is a level of multi-tasking I don't think we'll ever need.

daomadan said...

"The cockring might be all about pleasure, but isn't it about the woman's pleasure? I thought the main purpose of cock-rings is to extend the time a man can remain erect by restricting blood-flow out of the penis. Temporary penile strangulation so that you can keep pleasuring your partner long after you would normally be inclined to stop."

But isn't it presumptuous that women even want PIV sex? I know when I have a girlfriend it's the last thing on my mind because there are other ways we enjoy having sex.

Danny said...

When it comes to a cock it is all about pleasure.
Yeah for both partners...

valid point if we believe that intercourse is the point of sex. Since the majority of women climax through clitoral stimulation rather than vaginal penetration whose ego is really being stroked?
Yes there is ego stroking but don't act you don't know about the people that like to complian that men "don't last long enough". I don't think there is hostility in her question AR just the assumption that any man that wears a cock ring is going it only for himself.

And really. I have to admit that thing looks feakish even to me. It's one thing to try to please as many different preferences as possible but damn...

Renee said...

No just the understanding that we privilege intercourse over other forms of sexual behavior because it privileges the male.

Danny said...

So you're saying that a cockring is not just a sex toy but an exercise in male sexual privilege (despite the fact that this particular one is designed for both partners)? Different sex toys for different preferences plain and simple.

Renee said...

sexual preference does not happen outside of socialization. Much of our society privileges the male experience so why shouldn't sex toys? Consider that sex is considered finished after the act of copulation though clearly there are many different things that partners can do together.

Danny said...

I was not about talking sexual orientation when I said preferences in comment 14. I was talking about sex toy preference. Some like dildos. Some like cockrings. Some like Super Mondo Orgasamatic 3000 XXLTs* I'm sure there are some that don't like sex toys at all.

Much of our society privileges the male experience so why shouldn't sex toys?
So since many areas of society favor the male experience we just add sex toys to the list of male privilege as well with no justification of why it is?

Consider that sex is considered finished after the act of copulation though clearly there are many different things that partners can do together.
Now that is a real argument and its a good one too. However like you say there are many things a partner can do together. Its true that there are lots of men out there that are in it just get theirs but there are lots of men out there that make sure their partner gets theirs before he gets his. Ending with copulation does not always mean that the act of sex has a male pleasure slant.



*I just made that up.

Renee said...

@Danny...Its true that there are lots of men out there that are in it just get theirs but there are lots of men out there that make sure their partner gets theirs before he gets his. Ending with copulation does not always mean that the act of sex has a male pleasure slant.

This actually proves my point...the idea that because a man has given a woman an orgasm that he is entitled to penetrate her. If he was truly interested in her pleasure there should be no obligation on her part now should there?

Danny said...

This actually proves my point...the idea that because a man has given a woman an orgasm that he is entitled to penetrate her.
So its not possible for a person to care about their own pleasure and that of their partner?



If he was truly interested in her pleasure there should be no obligation on her part now should there?
Based on that he should only care about her pleasure and never his own. Its pretty unfair to expect someone to only care about their partner's pleasure and never their own isn't it? You do a good job of calling out men who are only into sex for themselves but at the same time you seem to give a free pass to women who are only in it for themselves by way to saying that if he really cared about her pleasure he would forsake his own.

Renee said...

@Danny
You are missing the point here. His pleasure is dependent on his ability to penetrate her whereas her pleasure has no such dependency. This is a privileging of sex acts based on the idea that a man has the right to access a womans body. Why is it that the sex act could not be finished with oral sex wherein neither body has to submit to penetration? I believe that the answer to that question lies in the fact that sex is seen as something men do to women rather than something two people engage in together.

ImitationAngel said...

I think the title of this post sums everything up perfectly. I don't care how smart it may be I will not be putting one of those things near my special area. Who was the genius who thought of putting a razor and vibrator together anyway?

Renegade Evolution said...

I am a fan of the cock ring...but I am weird like that :)

Jananole said...

Calling out Danny on logical fallacy of the slippery slope.

Based on that he should only care about her pleasure and NEVER(emphasis mine) his own. Its pretty unfair to expect someone to only care about their partner's pleasure and never their own isn't it? You do a good job of calling out men who are only into sex for themselves (she was not suggesting this, but commenting on the way we as a society are socialized to have sex, based on sexual scripts) but at the same time you seem to give a free pass to women who are only in it for themselves by way to saying that if he really cared about her pleasure he would forsake his own (sure, sometimes, just like if your mom really cared about you eating when you were a baby she would forsake her pleasure of sleeping).

You used the superlatives always and never.Always and never rarely mark the parameters of the human experience.

Try this out... When you and your partner have sex, let her come, get dressed and take her out to dinner. Once a month. See how that increases YOUR pleasure

outcrazyophelia said...

This seems/looks like/is such a terrible idea. I can't imagine why I would want to have anything capable of shaving pubic hair possibly in my vagina. Further it suggests a connection between sexual pleasure and grooming habits that feels like a serious disconnect.

Danny said...

His pleasure is dependent on his ability to penetrate her whereas her pleasure has no such dependency. This is a privileging of sex acts based on the idea that a man has the right to access a womans body. Why is it that the sex act could not be finished with oral sex wherein neither body has to submit to penetration?
And here is where you're losing me. Yes PiV penetration is the most common method of pleasure for a male partner but that pleasure is dependent on being granted access to her body (to not be granted access is to not have consent and thats a very differenct discussion). It almost sounds like (and I'm sure I'm wrong on this but I want to get this straight) you're saying have a problem with consentual penetration. Or are you talking about the assumption that PiV penetration must happen?



Try this out... When you and your partner have sex, let her come, get dressed and take her out to dinner. Once a month. See how that increases YOUR pleasure.
Interesting advice I'll try that out one day. But the thing is deep down inside part of the reason I am pleasing her is for my own pleasure. Are you suggesting that as in there are other ways or pleasure

Jananole said...

Danny,

Pleasing other people should always result in your own pleasure,if it doesn't or you feel taxed, you need to set up boundaries. I can't imagine that pleasing your partner in a relationship with healthy boundaries could be taxing, or that pleasing that person wouldn't be a part of your relationship with that person.

sean said...
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