Sunday, August 17, 2008

According To Jim Rome, Strippers Hate Their Daddy's

H/t BlackPerspective.Net

I was originally just going to post a response to this  at BlackPerspective,  but after polluting my ears with this video and reading the following commentary, "Rome can be annoying, but he hits gold sometimes; and this is just about my all time favourite rant of his – it’s too true. Come on." I decided to respond on my blog.

Well, let's start out with the fact that Jim Rome says,"Hey, listen I don't really know any strippers personally and I have never really had a conversation with  a stripper about this kind of thing but I think that we are all pretty safe in assuming that strippers hate their dads. Why do you think they became strippers because they had a good relationship with their father? Because they respected where he was coming from?"

Once again it is all about the men. Unless daddy gives you permission at the altar to be a sexual being, or perform in a sexual way, it is simply unacceptable. Women couldn't possibly choose to get into sex work because they enjoy it could they? The only two reasons to become a stripper is to feed a drug addiction, or to exact revenge upon daddy for his obvious neglect of his patriarchal duties.  Dear old dad should have no say on what a grown woman chooses to do with her body, and furthermore women are more than capable of making decisions outside of male considerations. Sometimes what is best for a man is not best for a woman.

"What is the worst nightmare that a father could have is that his daughter could become a stripper."

Of course the worst fear is not that she could be physically, or sexually assaulted.  It is certainly not that she faces a lifetime of systemic inequality as a direct result of patriarchy. Nope, the only supposed nightmare is that she might show her tits and shake a little ass to pay the rent and feed herself.  How can a man possibly embrace a daughter that believes that she has the right to decide what is and isn't appropriate for her to do? 

Daddy's don't love sluts. The best way to retain the love and respect of a father is to sit pretty, preferably with your legs closed, speaking only when spoken to.  When are daughters ever going to learn that their lives are not about them. Womens lives from birth to death are meant to be about fulfilling the wishes of men.  If Daddy wants chastity and you're feeling horny, you had better learn to masturbate quietly in a dark room, because dick  without permission is strictly a no no.  There is no point calling out the sweaty men that sit in pervert ally for their depravations, because everyone knows that it is women that are expected to be the moral regulators of sex and sexuality. Men may have their finger on the button but when faced with a snatch they suddenly loose the ability to think clearly.  I actually find that amusing considering it is common to hear that a woman could not be president because of hormones, but I suppose being led through your life by your genitals is ok, as long as it is a dick doing  the leading.

OOH twisting knife. I can already hear the trolls calling me a man hater. How dare I challenge their right to enforce appropriate morals (read: social chastity belts) on women?  I must be a slut myself for refusing to agree that all sex work is degrading. yeah, yeah, yeah.  Slut shaming is something that patriarchy excels at.  Sex is an essential drive and to discipline it in this way is to assert a large degree of control over someone's life. When the authoritarian father daughter connection is added to this equation, it appears to be an innocuous life lesson. Daddy is not harmed by the teaching but the little girl is deeply wounded because she learns from the one that is supposed to support  her the most, that there are conditions to love.


Scott said...

Jim Rome is what you would call a shock sports jock. He really has no idea, not does he care to have any idea about sports. He just likes to shock people. He once got beat up on air by football linebacker Jim Everett. Why? Well in Romes opinion, he hit like a girl, so he always called him Chis Everett, who happens to be one of the all time female tennis players.

So I guess Rome accusing him of hitting like a girl, opens up a whole other can of worms!

Here is the link to the beat down.

Himoacs Yanjiaren said...

This made me laugh. I really cracked up on the bit about Presidency and Ladies' hormones and about the being led by dicky bit. yes men are far less in control of their dicky bird yet get all the top jobs lol. Great post.

daedalus2u said...

This is so wrong on so many levels and in so many different ways. But even if we assume it is true, that women become strippers because they hate their fathers and that being a stripper is such a bad thing it needs to be stopped, how do we do it?

The first step would be for girls to not hate their fathers. Since children can't control how they react, it is the fathers who need to change their behavior so that their daughters don't hate them. What can fathers do so that their daughters don't hate them? I don't have any daughters, only sons, but my guess would be that the way to get children to not hate a parent is the same. Treat children with respect, love and kindness; nurture them to grow into strong healthy adults with healthy motivations. Teach them to respect themselves and others. Help them to make decisions based on achieving something positive rather than avoiding something negative. It isn't just fathers who need to act this way, it is all father figures. That would be all men who are ever in the presence of female children; that would be all females under the age of 18, or woman over the age of 18 who have not yet matured beyond child-like behaviors (such as being self-injurious because you hate your father). Will this work to reduce the number of women who become strippers? I don't know, let's try it for a couple of generations and find out.

Perhaps there are some women who become strippers because they need the money. The solution to that would be to provide sufficient opportunity such that women can earn enough or more doing other types of work such that stripping isn't a good employment choice. The wage differential between men and women gives men more disposable income to spend on strippers which results in stripping being a high wage job for those that do it. Reducing the real wages of men will reduce what men can spend on stripping. Increase the wages of women, and other non-stripping jobs will be more attractive.

Maybe there will still be some women who do stripping because they want to and would do so even if they don't hate their father and don't need the money. Perhaps there are women who have nothing that they want to do more than to take their clothes off in front of leering crowds of drinking men. Because of her well-paying day job she doesn't need the money. Because of her good relationship with her father, she is not dissing him with her stripping, maybe he is even in the audience cheering her on proudly saying "that’s my girl!" She can afford a good place to live, good health care for herself and her children, a good education for her children. When she retires she will be able to continue to live a good and productive lifestyle. Because of good and reliable childcare for her children, she has had the free time to do everything else that she has ever wanted to do.

If that is the only kind of stripping that was left, I think that society could deal with it without crumbling. I don't think the Patriarchy could deal with the changes that would make this happen. Is the goal to get rid of stripping, or is the goal to maintain the Patriarchy?

Renegade Evolution said...

what a JERK. Grrrrr.

Roxie said...

I'm surprise he didn't say that they became strippers cause they didn't get enough hugs from dad---OR WAS THAT HIS REAL POINT?

Octogalore said...

Great call-out. Rome is an idiot. Interesting he didn't flip that around and conjecture as to why men go to strippers. As you say, his POV enables men to be separate individuals whereas women can only act in relation to male actions.

Must say the idea of a dad being in his stripper daughter's audience creeps me out!

Sandalstraps said...

This reminds me of Chris Rock's bit about the goal of parenting a daughter is to "keep her off the pole."

Right on, Renee.

mzbitca said...

I am just sick of people always trying to find "reasons" for why women engage in sex work. Are there victims in sex work yes..are there victims in other types of work...yes. It just all boils down to the fact that society is not comfortable with women freely making decisions about their sexual identity. They can't choose to engage in stripping, they must be damaged in some way. Heaven forbid it be an autonomous decision.

Josephine H. said...

This guy sure knows more about meth than I do. And I've been stripping for 4+ years.

Amber Rhea said...

I have NEVER understood that whole "Daddy issues" thing as an explanation for women going into sex work. It makes no sense to me, and seems to say more about the person making the claim than anything else. Why the hell would someone conflate sex work (of any type) with "daddy issues??" All about the men, indeed.