Friday, August 22, 2008

Too Many Gays In New York

I have a little confession to make..I am nosey. I eavesdrop on peoples conversations quite a bit.  Yesterday while attending a private function I had the displeasure of hearing two acquaintance of mine in conversation.  One asserted his desire to travel to New York City..A wish I completely understand as N.Y is image my second favourite  city.  The other acquaintance lowered his voice and responded, "you don't want to go to New York there are too many fags there." Due to the nature of the gathering I was not able to publicly give this man the verbal thrashing that he deserved but I did give him a very scathing look which I know imparted my displeasure with his commentary.

Too many fags...I personally believe that there are too many intolerant fundie oxygen thieves but I tolerate their existence.  Upon reflecting on this conversation one of the things that I could not let go of is the fact that he knew with a certainty that what he was saying was not only homophobic, it was wrong.  I know this because he took the time to lower his voice before speaking.  What do you do with someone who knowingly promotes bigotry?  

How does someone else's sexuality become threatening to another?  Heterosexual panic is partly based in the fallacy that all gay people find all straight people attractive.  If I am sitting next to a lesbian, it does not mean that she will find me attractive  just because we possess the same body parts. Just as hetero people have a "type" of person that they find sexually attractive so to do gay people.  It is hetero arrogance to believe that appropriate body parts necessarily means that another finds you attractive in this way.  This is a part of the don't ask, don't tell theory.  Yeah if same sex people work together and someone happens to be gay they will be overcome with desire, and this will lead to a distraction...in a word BULLSHIT.  I am straight and do not drool over every man I come across.  There are often times when I look at man and think not even if he were the last one on the planet, and all of the dildos and vibrators magically disappeared  would he be invited into my bed, and gay people think the same way. Dear overly panicked straight people, there is no need to fear....you may not be as hot as you think that you are.

 


10 comments:

rachelcervantes said...

"Fundie oxygen thieves?"

OMG! SCREAMING with laughter here!

revjohnny said...

"Heterosexual panic is partly based in the fallacy that all gay people find all straight people attractive."

Is that what is being thought? Oh - that explains a lot. Heck, I don't have time to be attracted to alllll straight women, let alone the inclination.

Thanks for the post and for being an ally.

jgoreham said...

I don't have time for people that say things like that. I'll spend my energies on friends and acquaintances who aren't asshats.

"Dear overly panicked straight people, there is no need to fear....you may not be as hot as you think that you are." Well done, truer words were never spoken!

So, NY is your second favourite city- what city is your first? :)

Renee said...

@jgoreham...my favorite city and I will admit bias is Toronto...the city of my birth.

Falyne said...

Speaking as a straight chick living in Chelsea... this is the most awesomest place I've ever been.

So convenient. I grew up in Southern CA. My dad has a house in San Diego, in a relatively new sprawl development, and for the longest time the closest commercial space (a single shopping plaza and a high school) to his house was a 5 minute drive (much of it on a highway) away, with practically anything else requiring actual freeway travel. Now, there's a single restaurant, a Mailboxes Etc., and a coffee shop within walking distance. Yeeeeeah. He got a hybrid a few years back, but he's still hurting, and that's not to speak of the environment or consumption or what-have-you.

It's also fantastic to see what it's like to NOT have females be the default sex class. All the advertisements around here? Half-naked *men*. Good eye-candy and a breath of fresh air. I mean, I know it's not me that the ads are aimed for, but it's a change and an improvement that the ads-not-aimed-for-me are at least appealing rather than disquieting.

And then there's all the cultural/art/ohdeargodthiscityisAWESOME stuff. ^_^

Shae said...

Hear, hear. While it's true that not every gay person of your gender is finding you attractive, I'd add to that:

So what if they do?

Shae said...

By the way, almost every option I chose under "comment as" gave me the error, "URL contains illegal characters" even though it didn't. I've seen some blogs accept generic name/URL as a method, which is nice.

Joy said...

"The other acquaintance lowered his voice and responded, "you don't want to go to New York there are too many fags there." Due to the nature of the gathering I was not able to publicly give this man the verbal thrashing that he deserved but I did give him a very scathing look which I know imparted my displeasure with his commentary...Upon reflecting on this conversation one of the things that I could not let go of is the fact that he knew with a certainty that what he was saying was not only homophobic, it was wrong. I know this because he took the time to lower his voice before speaking. What do you do with someone who knowingly promotes bigotry?"

Yes, how should this be addressed? Is a scathing look enough? I've been in a conversation where this happened, though it was about black people, not gays. A white lady was taking to me and several others (all of us white) at a restaurant and would lower her voice so much that you practically had to read her lips to detect that she was saying "black". Of course, her comment about POC was negative. I didn't know quite how to respond. If I upbraided her, I suppose she would stop talking like that, but only around me. I doubt I would have any lasting influence on her. What to do in situations like this?

Rich Dansereau said...

What an uncomfortable situation; imagine how much more uncomfortable it would have been if you were gay or lesbian or the parent, relative, co-worker, or friend of a gay person or lesbian. Wait a minute, I think we would all qualify...I am sorry you could not speak up, if that made you feel shame because of your silence, it is important to release that shame but not its lesson.

As for Joy's comment on what to do??? Say something immediately, hate cannot be abided nor allowed to fester. Even if speaking up silences only one more voice of hate and bigotry in one particular setting that is one less!

Sabertoothed Screaming Lemur said...

If someone does this around me and doesn't know me in particular, my inclination is to smile brightly at them and announce, "I'M gay!"...and see how uncomfortable they get.
Also, "fundie oxygen theives"? My new phrase of the week. ^_^