Friday, September 26, 2008

So I Named My Imaginary Friend Vagina

Imagine my surprise to discover while surfing the net, that my vagina is a figment of my imagination.  All these years I thought that it was a real and concrete as any other body part.  What exactly have been protecting all these years from assault and abuse?

On top of being a person of lesser value Saudi Clerics apparently think that women are delusional too. 

The viziers, all experts in modern Saudi scientific fields such as astrology, water divination and alchemy, were speaking at the launch of their new study, 'Between the Cracks: Stop Fannying About With Our Women', which has set out to prove that the 'vagina' is nothing more than an extension of the buttocks.
"Everybody knows that women are non-sexual creatures," said team leader Prince Abdul Abdul Abdul. "This fantasy about a female sexual organ, this subversive and frankly repulsive idea of a 'vagina', is yet another assault on our values and customs by the West."
Senior researcher Abdul Saud agreed. "Ask any man in the Kingdom if his wife has ever showed the slightest bit of enjoyment while fulfilling the nasty but essential work of spawning a male heir, and he will tell you that sex for women is, and always has been, utterly joyless."
"Until now, we naturally assumed that this lack of pleasure was the fault of the woman partner, perhaps due to some inherent psychological handicap shared by all women," said Grand Vizier of Numerology, Professor Faisal Abdul Saud. "But now we have shown that women are not only stunted psychologically, but physically too."

Of course they established all of these facts without interviewing women.  Why would they be the least bit interested in speaking with the people that possess the body part in question?

If Saudi women are not responding enthusiastically, which I doubt is true of the entire female population, perhaps it has in part to do with the fact that the men are such shitty lovers.  Maybe just maybe it is because female sexuality is  so shamed in their culture, that they have come to view sexual response as a dirty thing. hmmm I think this makes more sense than women are like ATMS just waiting for a man to deposit sperm.  But hey if they think that Vaginas are non existent, is it any wonder that women aren't cumming? Yet more nonsense wrapped in an archaic, outmoded religion to shame women.  OOOH before you get your self tied in knots, the same applies to Christianity.


AR said...

Satire, and very poorly executed satire at that. Just look at the frontpage of the site hosting this article.

Anonymous said...

Yeah, this is definitely meant to be a joke article. Some other articles:

"2010 World Cup mascot is not rotting STD-ravaged lion"

"Palintology to study dino bones put there by God 6,000 years ago"

"King Mswati eager to take Swaziland forward into 16th Century"

Kind of sad when the only way to tell whether this is really made up is to check the other articles, though. Aside from the part about vaginas being bums, I've read everything in that article before, only it was meant seriously.