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Each year my 83 year old pop ponders why I have chosen to be gay. He'll ask Reagan have you ever slept with a woman, I say no, and then as if he has figured out the great conundrum of the century he'll exclaim how can you really know. To which I reply dad have you ever fucked a guy? Oh this little game we play is never stopping, bunny hopping, biscuit sopping, hetero cropping, under the rug mopping, brother topping, hours ripped and ribbed for my pleasure and it would be to easy to ask you to consider the discourse of homophobia, so instead I implore you to gallantly gallop into a world of heterophobia. In this world monday night football is replaced with friday night theatre. You're known as the funny straight poet and after people find out that you fornicate with people of the opposite sex they say things like no no no I'm cool with it I have a straight uncle. What's it like being straight? Is it like being gay just different? Imagine straight is a term so derogatory that gay people call each other straight and mean it as the lowest of insults, the bottom of the barrel, the harshest of blows. Imagine one day waking up and innocently turning on your television, only to hear the new of a five foot five eighteen year old straight boy in Larmie Wyoming who was tied, no not tied crucified to a fence and pistol whipped, whacked and cracked so severely his skull was turned into fine powder and the last words he heard were, you fucking straight piece of shit you are nothing. Through this lens doesn't the choice to be straight sound so exotic? But the plain truth of the matter, the fact jack is we live in a homophobic world and as it stands Matthew Sheppard was gay and the last word he heard were you fucking faggot, just as I heard each day walking through the halls of high school. And it is not straight peoples parents who ask them year in and year out asking them why they're straight, it's my father asking me if you've never been with a woman, how can you know. I know, this much I know .