Today is national coming out day. The Bilerico Project has some great articles up today. Here I am a straight woman writing about an event that supposedly has nothing to do with my life. As I went through puberty, I did not have to deal with my sexuality as something that people viewed as strange or deviant. It was considered normal and natural for me to be attracted to men.
The unhusband and I have been a couple for over 18 years. We never think about it when we hold hands in public. We never think about it when we kiss. We never think about it when we embrace each other. Our love for each other is something that we openly display without any concern for our safety, or the thoughts of people around us.
People will occasionally stare at us and make unkind comments, however that is not because we are a cis, heterosexual male and female engaged in a relationship, but because we an inter-racial couple. Not very long ago a love like ours was something that we would have had to hide. People would carry on about the children that we might produce and claim that we were flouting the laws of nature.
These arguments still exist, but not to the degree that they once did. The unhusband and I lead a life that does come with its own set of unique complications, but neither of us feel that our lives are threatened for loving each other. When I see people struggling for the right to get married it reminds me very much of the struggles of inter racial couples to have our love accepted by society.
Yesterday Connecticut struck down the ban on gay marriage. It really made me happy, but at the same time it saddened me to think that there are still so many places where gay marriage is not accepted. There is no difference between the love that the unhusband and I share and those gay couples seeking to get married.
It saddens me to think that of all of the things that we have decided to police and discipline in this world that love is something we have deemed abhorrent. Love is the greatest of human emotions. It is love that elevates us beyond our narcissism, cruelties, and petty rivalries,yet it is something that we have decided is socially unacceptable when it occurs between two men, or two women. Love between people that are gay is not a threat to society because anytime we feel real love for another we are expressing the best part of what it means to be human.
On national coming out day we should take the time to listen to the stories of the GBLT community and look to see the ways in which they mirror our own existence. Love should be bringing us together as a people and not tearing us apart.