This morning I woke up with my period. It actually felt early this time and I had no warning, like back pain or irritability that it was on its way. I had to send the unhusband out for supplies as it tuned out I had no pads left. I gave very specific instructions because when it comes to my my period "protection" I am very particular. I have decided to try a diva cup but I have not gotten around to purchasing one yet. For some reason I have this sense of trepidation about the whole thing. I am sure that part of that stems from the fact that I have spent my time using tampons and pads.
I was thinking the last couple of days about how disconnected many women become from their vaginas during their periods. I believe this manifests in how unwilling we are touch ourselves. Other than the necessary cleaning and inserting of tampons the vagina becomes this foreign body part. We fear our own blood as though it contains some kind of contamination. Not only do many women avoid sex during menstruation, they deny themselves the pleasure of masturbation.
I think we need to reclaim how we view our vaginas when we are bleeding. They are not anymore foul than they are at any other time of the month. The blood that flows from them is a part of us. I believe that we get so wrapped up in trying to hide the fact that we are bleeding from the world we forget that this is a natural function of womanhood. Any sign of blood on our clothing, or our underwear, or sheets, is supposed to bring shame upon us because the world has suddenly become aware of our "dirty little secret".
It all comes down to the fact that the vagina is ultimately viewed as dirty and foul; therefore anything emanating from it is fruit of the poisonous tree. I believe that we need to learn to love this blood. We cannot reconstruct the idea that we are dirty until we love everything that has to do with having a vagina. From our labia, to clitoris, to our menstruation, our vaginas are beautiful because they are a part of us and until we can embrace this openly without embarrassment, there will forever be a stigma attached to womanhood.
This month I intend to do something I have never done. I am going to masturbate to orgasm during my period. I am not going to view the blood between my legs as dirty and foul. I am going to find pleasure in my body. I am going to claim my vagina as a safe and clean space.