Fair warning: this post is not rated G. If you are going to get yourself tied into a knot stop reading this instant.
I have done some thinking since I learned that I am dickist. What does it mean to elevate the dick? Is it having relationships with men? Is it taking pride in giving a good blow job or simply enjoying a good lay from time to time? Not only do I refuse to feel shame for loving the men in my life, I positively refuse to feel shame for engaging in sex.
The idea that choosing to be intimate with a man is somehow shameful or a denial of feminist principles is ridiculous.; it necessarily precludes any concept of an active female sexuality. In fact such clear negations of womens sexual choices are far more harmful than any blow job I’ve ever given.
So what is with the association of the dick with ultimate in female shame? We slut shame sex workers, we slut shame women who have sex outside of marriage, and we slut shame women who engage in sexual acts that we deem somehow anti-woman. Unless you are lying on your back as frigid as an iceberg somehow you are behaving inappropriately. It seems me that lying on your back with your legs spread, acting like a human pin cushion turns sex into something that men do to women. It’s the passive pussy complex.
While I have no problem with lesbian sex, it is just not for me. I don’t get turned on by breasts and shapely curves, I want a big thick piece of man meat. I love everything about masculine bodies, from the broad shoulders to the hard muscles; men are where it is at for me. Not only do I consent to sex, I do so enthusiastically and eagerly await each opportunity.
While there are women who identify as political lesbians or abstain from heterosexual sex because of our sexist patriarchal society, it is patently unfair to hold us all to the same standard. This policing of behaviour is no different than that which patriarchy does to control female bodies. Don’t give me the monolithic woman bullshit when it favours your interests and your desires. I understand the desire to elevate vaginas, hell I have one, but this one knows exactly what makes her little heart happy.
If the dick makes you happy celebrate it. We have to deal with enough bullshit to get through a single day without worrying about whether consenting sex between two adults is appropriately feminist. We are doing the work of patriarchy every time we attempt to slut shame women for seeking to satisfy our natural desires and if that isn’t counter to feminist values, I don’t what is.