Sunday, September 20, 2009

Sunday Shame: Sporting Edition

I believe in full disclosure, so I will admit before starting this post by saying that athletics is not something I am good at. I couldn’t hit the broad side of a barn with a baseball.

Some believe that hockey is a birthright of all Canadians. On a saturday night you can find many a proud Canadian singing the anthem in preparation to watch hockey night in Canada.  The beer gets poured (note: bottles only, beer in a can is frowned upon), as armchair players begin to discuss trades, and team strengths.  All of this simply makes me want to go to sleep.

image I even have the nerve to commit Cannuck  blasphemy and openly call out Don Cherry out for being a big mouth, bigoted idiot.  I cannot even believe he made the list of most important Canadians. Does he hypnotise people with all of the ridiculous colors he wears, into believing that the hyperbole that he spews weekly, is rationale discourse?   Before you object, this is a man that was angry that Canadians didn’t join the Iraq war, while he openly mourned the loss of Cannuck soldiers in Afghanistan.  Hello idiot, the greatest display of respect for the troops, is to never break their trust by asking them to put their lives at risk, so that rich men can increase their wealth, and white men can oppress brown people.

So I guess that this week I am openly admitting, that this red and white wearing, timmys drinkin, poutine eating Cannuck, cannot stand hockey.  There, I said it, out in the open for all.  I cannot stand the fighting and posturing of the NHL.  I don’t even see what the big deal is because hockey is NOT the national sport, contrary to the ignorance of many. You naysayers can sing the good ol’ hockey game until the end of time.

I am not the only Cannuck to despise hockey so fess up.  Stand with me in solidarity.  As for you Americans, don’t worry I have not forgotten you.  Speak up if can’t stand football or baseball.  In fact for those that can’t stand football, I am in complete solidarity with you.  Football can take up a perfectly good sunday and monday night that be used for better things. I also cannot stand the way that the last two minutes can last for nearly an hour, run the clock damn it.