Friday, October 9, 2009

OOOH Questions About Boobies

[Video opens on "KGB" logo, followed by a close-up of man's hands poised to squeeze the breasts on a mannequin modeling a lacy bra.]
Saleswoman: Hello.
[Customer turns to face saleswoman, his hands still cupped.]
Customer: How can I tell my girlfriend's bra size?
[Close-up of saleswoman's cleavage through customer's cupped hands. Camera pulls back; she looks down at his hands, then back up at him. He looks completely idiotic, with his mouth hanging open.]
Saleswoman: Maybe you should ask someone.
Customer: Oh. Good idea.
[He reaches into his pocket and fishes out his phone; starts typing in a text message: "How can I tell my girlfriend's bra size?" Swishy edit, as if to "KGB headquarters."]
Man in "KGB" jumpsuit: I got this one. [Cups hands as if to squeeze breasts.] You take your hands—
Woman in "KGB" jumpsuit: Actually, the best way is to compare them to a piece of fruit. Are they apples, oranges, or grapefruits?
[Another woman in "KGB" jumpsuit walks by. Man in "KGB" jumpsuit stares at her exposed cleavage. Cut back to customer, who has received his "answer" via text.]
Customer: They're MELONS!
Saleswoman: I have those. [She turns, as if to walk into the back room and retrieve a "melon"-sized bra.]
Voiceover over text: Text your question to 542542. [Additional text reads: "Answers cost just 99 cents each." Plus some fine print. Cut back to "KGB headquarters."]
Man in "KGB" jumpsuit: [points at busty woman he was staring at] How do you like them apples?
Woman in "KGB" jumpsuit: Those are grapefruits.

Okay, this high school humour is not amusing.  Women are not just body parts.  I know that the titays are amusing and jiggly, but ya know this tired trope is just plain old.  Believe it or not women hold office, run businesses, are educators, are scientists, are explorers, are lawyers and doctors.  Somehow we manage to do all of that, even though we have boobies. 

Breasts are not just for the sexual pleasure of men.  They actually have a biological function. Yeah, that’s right testosterone based life forms, breasts feed babies too.  Who would have thought.

When we consider that we are supposedly in a He-cession, one would think that it makes sense to consider women in advertising.  Who do these people think are supporting families today?  Supporting patriarchy in its reduction of women seems to be far more important than the bottom line.  Tell me again that capitalism is rationale.

H/T Shakesville and transcript provided by Liss.