Friday, January 15, 2010

New Jerseys Jilted Former First Lady Dina Matos Comes Out Against Same Sex Marriage

image It must have have seemed like a nightmare at first, when Dina sat down with her ex husband Jim to discuss his homosexual affair.  At the time, Jim had a promising political career and they were raising a beautiful baby girl together.  Life must have seemed perfect for the McGreevy’s, until Jim was forced to admit to being gay after the scandal came to life about an affair with a staffer.

Dina has since written a tell all book about her experiences as part of her healing process.  To find out that someone that you have dedicated yourself to and attempted to build a life with has been unfaithful, is an extreme violation and this is exacerbated when one must deal with this in the full glare of the media lights.  Dina stood by her husband with a smile frozen on her face, as he announced to the world that he was gay and resigning from office.

What McGreevy did was truly dishonest, however; part of the blame can certainly be placed upon our heterosexist society, which is dedicated to creating everything gay as necessarily deviant and amoral.  Even the allegation of homosexuality is enough to stall someone’s career.  Gays and lesbians have repeatedly spoken about the harassment that is all to common place on the job. 

It would seem that Dina has turned her anger at the betrayal by Jim into rage at the entire LGBT community.

Recently, Matos told The Daily Record newspaper she believes the definition of marriage is between a man and a woman and she is glad NJ didn’t legalize same-sex marriage.

Jim was the one that hurt her and Jim was the one to betray her trust.  There is no reason to take out her personal pain on all of the members of the GLBT community.  Perhaps, if we had been more open and accepting, Jim would not have felt the need to hide his sexuality from the world. Gay marriage will not end the homophobia that the GLBT community faces, however it will certainly help to normalize their relationships.

Matos may never forgive McGreevy and in truth, it is understandable but to turn that anger into a whip to oppress others is unacceptable.  There is no excuse and or reason, that will ever legitimize the “othering” and marginalization of any member of our society.