Voiceover (over images of various men looking utterly morose and defeated): I will get up and walk the dog at 6:30am. I will eat some fruit as part of my breakfast. I will shave. I will clean the sink after I shave. I will be at work by 8am. I will sit through two-hour meetings. I will say yes when you want me to say yes. I will be quiet when you don't want to hear me say no. I will take your call. I will listen to your opinion of my friends. I will listen to your friends' opinions of my friends. I will be civil to your mother. I will put the seat down. I will separate the recycling. I will carry your lip balm. I will watch your vampire TV shows with you. I will take my socks off before getting into bed. I will put my underwear in the basket. And because I do this [cut to image of black Dodge Charger speeding on the open road], I will drive the car I WANT TO DRIVE. Charger: MAN'S LAST STAND. [The words appear onscreen in all caps. More images of car, set to Bond-like music.] Transcript via Shakesville.
What would the Super Bowl be without ads which enforce gender normativity and a large dose of heterosexism? His life is a complete misery because he has to participate in the world. Were it not for the ball and chain he could be free to hunt and bang his chest at will. Yes, a man’s life is nothing but suffering and duty. He has no power, he is completely impotent all because of the evil matriarchy. We’ll just ignore the reality of the double day that is a regular feature in women’s lives, the mehnz are suffering. Quick, someone pass me an onion, I need to dredge up a tear.
Also, don’t you just love the idea presented by this commercial that all men are straight? Real men are heterosexual beasts and therefore there is no need to even consider the fact that gay men do indeed exist. How can we possibly talk about male oppression, if we for a moment admit to the existence of gay men? The issue here is that there is only one kind of approved masculinity and the matriarchy is stifling it. Oh Noes. Oh Noes.
Not to worry because all of that suffering will not be in vain, you can yet hold onto some of the privileges that the evil matriarchy is stripping away. Thank God/Goddess (yeah the Goddess part was just to be PC) that the Dodge Charger exists. You can unleash your inner heterosexual defeated caveman. You can reclaim the freedom that you lost to support the evil ball and chain. In that moment, when you hit the open road, you will instantly be transported back to a time when men were men. At last, an escape from the evils of female tyranny.
This was but one of the many commercials that irritated me. Feel free to share in comments some of your least favourites and why.