Sunday, March 14, 2010

Sunday Shame: That’s Not Pigging Out Edition


So, I called ALLISON McCARTHY last night because I wanted to use her brain like a thesaurus, when she happened to mention that she had gotten her hands on a bag of maple leaf cream cookies.  There she was at home, on Saturday night at 11:00 and can you believe she only ate four cookies, what the hell is up with that?  Then she gives me the bullshit excuse about rationing, when she could be having a good ole fashioned pig out session.

Look, I get the whole savour something good routine. No one can make love to a slice of double chocolate cheesecake like me, but if you are going for pure pig out factor, 4 cookies don’t cut it.  As I chanted, “eat the row, eat the row”, she giggled sweetly. You can bet if I happen to run across the unhusband’s hidden stash of double Oreo cookies, a whole row will go missing.

Now, I know it may seem sweet and demure to deny, but we should all just admit that every once and awhile, when no one is looking, if that container of Ben and Jerry’s is in the freezer and there is even one clean spoon in the cupboard, you’re taking that trip to ice cream heaven.  Yes, the pig out is an essential part of the journey.  Who the hell eats four cookies?…come the hell on.

Perhaps your thing is chocolate….does gorging yourself on chocolate until your eyes roll back in your head bring you to that special place?  Yeah, I know how it is….Perhaps, you will run across your favourite pie and go into such a daze, that you don’t come to your senses until it’s all gone. That is how a pig out fest works….never is savouring and slowly munching on 4 cookies ever to be confused with a true pig out fest.  Did I mention that the woman only had 4?  Again, WTH…. 4 cookies and a glass of milk is practically healthy eating, who is she kidding with that one?

Alright your turn to share, what food makes you lose your sensibilities and portion control from time to time and what do you love about it.  We all have at least one no self control item so fess up.