This is a guest post from Maryanne Comaroto
Maryanne Comaroto is America’s leading relationship expert. Maryanne is an award-winning author, seminar leader, radio personality and frequent guest on TV and radio talk shows around the country. Her weekly radio show, Maryanne Live!, reaches three million listeners monthly worldwide.
Maryanne is the author of the award-winning book, Skinny, Tan and Rich: Unveiling the Myth. Her newest book is Hindsight: What You Need to Know Before You Drop Your Drawers!
Maryanne founded SHOMI, LLC, a personal development corporation, in 1998, and is CEO and founder of the National Action Organization, a 501(c)3 non- profit committed to changing the way our culture values women. Maryanne conducts transformational workshops, lectures and awards the Certificate of Responsible Relationship (CORR®).
To an outsider looking in, it must appear that our dating culture is based around monetary worth. And that’s not too far from the truth – we use money as a tool not only for dating, but for hanging onto a relationship that might otherwise fall apart. After all the initial daily expenses of food, movie tickets, gas, parking, condoms, hotel rooms, drinks, cover charges at clubs, the price of being with someone only gets more expensive.
The gifts can get more and more extravagant, and eventually more and more personal, as well. What starts out as buying your lover an iPhone or a mp3 player, can lead to you helping out with their debts, lending them money on a regular basis, or whatever else they start expecting from you. When you begin a relationship on the basis of your bank account, it can be impossible to shift your worth in the relationship away from just your willingness to spend money on the other person. The true cost of this? The pricelessness of selling your soul.
As short a time as it may seem, most relationships begin to decline after six weeks. There’s the initial game of using the tools of insecurity to lure a mate, where texting turns to sexting and, very soon, actual sex. But then once all those cards are out on the table, there’s really nothing left, and when the person you’re dating sees that underneath the games, you’re just a human being and not some fantasy of perfection, they no longer want to play. If you’re lucky, you manage to leave first, instead of being left. That’s the depressing best-case scenario.
We all dream about how nice it would be to be accepted in a relationship for who we really are, not just what we look like or how much money we have, but most people write this off as an unrealistic fantasy that can’t exist in the real world. But if you look at some of the pioneers who are beginning to dedicate their lives to waking up and living in a self-aware state, you can see that we are actually in a prime position to start turning this thing around, to begin evolving into a culture of people who look within ourselves to find the love and worth that already exists there, dormant and waiting for our acceptance.
This is actually a really lucky time for us to be on this earth and looking for love. We are at a pivotal time in our history, where we are beginning to accept that there is more to attracting a mate than just baiting someone with physical lust or an impressive bank balance. We are free to exercise our ability to choose to stop playing the blame game, to accept personal responsibility for how we behave, not only with others but as separate entities. We are in a position where we can stop following our bodies around, looking for instant gratification, and can instead contemplate our choices, and make healthy decisions based on what we can expect the consequences to be.
And how does knowing this get you into the world of dating like a rich person? You just have to stop and see where your real value lies. Because it’s not in your bank account, or in your bra cup, or in the car you drive or your willingness to buy gifts for someone. It’s the fact that you are a spectacular, unique representation of divinity, and there is no one else who can be you in the way that you are. This is a profound realization, and acceptance of it is the greatest and most valuable secret to attracting the mate you really want. All you have to do is fall in love with yourself, look within you for the happiness you seek, and then put yourself out there for others to see. Showing the world the positive feelings you have about who you are is your golden ticket, and as I always say, great relationships begin within! If you want to learn more about starting down the road to your true self, get a copy of Hindsight, What You Need to Know Before You Drop Your Drawers today!