Sunday, October 10, 2010

Sunday Shame: Pizza Edition

I know that Sparky expected a break because of his birthday, but I am just not that nice. We randomly go through a random assortment of topics each time we chat.  Despite the fact that I have told him by virtue of my awesome Cannuckness, that I am always right and he is always wrong, he still stubbornly retains an independent streak.

Once again, this week we engaged about the topic of:


That looks just perfect doesn't it.  There is nothing like a Hawaiian pizza with extra pineapple. Sweet and savory just work on many levels.  According to Mr (and I use that term loosely) Sparky, pineapple does not belong on pizza.  Normally when it comes to food, with the exception of everyone's favorite Gus, Allison McCarthy, I will say chacun son gout however, I don't believe that a man who eats pizza with a knife and fork, yes a knife and fork, has the sensibilities to discern what a good pizza is.  I know that this is some sort of British eccentricity, but it certainly is an assault to the pizza Gods.

There is an entire system to the appreciation of pizza.  First, one must nearly burn ones hands picking up a slice from a steaming hot tray.  Then one must take a bite, of course burning ones mouth, followed by the ever important pizza pant that involves quickly sucking in air, in the hopes of cooling the scalding morsel in ones mouth.  This is followed by the obligatory sip of whatever beverage that has been painstakingly chosen and the process is once more repeated.  Nowhere in the guidelines does it call for a knife and a fork or the exclusion of pineapple. 

Sparky seems to believe that there is dignity in skipping the whole process and perhaps his stiff upper lip leads him to believe that he has standing here, but the sun has long since set on the British Empire.  No amount of tut tut or cheerio is going to make pulling out a knife and a fork to eat pizza look anything but supremely uncool.  We Cannucks know how to handle our food, because we must battle with the wild moose for its procurement.  The pineapple further brings a hint of the tropics to our frozen tundra.

I have done my due diligence to try to expose him to wonderful ideas like garage parties, crocs and the ever important Hawaiian pizza.  In the name of international relations, I have withheld chortling every time he tries to resist the truth, but I cannot take his denial any more. So I ask you dear readers, to confirm once and for all, that to truly be appreciated, pizza must be eaten by hand and that the pineapple has as much right to be considered a topping, as pepperoni.  What say you all?  While you are at it, don't forget to share your favorite pizza combination, unless it involves anchovies.