Dr. Phil Takes on the Fatties

 

I stopped watching Dr. Phil almost immediately after his program first aired because of his often patronizing and sexist approach to women’s issues, fatphobia and his heterosexist, cissexist approach to the GLBT community.  Unfortunately my boycott did not mean that his show got cancelled, in fact; he continues to maintain very good ratings and people still buy his books, even though he is the only psychologist that I have heard of that is an expert on everything.

Well, yesterday he once again decided to take on the issue of fat by discussing “The perception of the obese, and how accommodating society should be towards the overweight and if its possible to be fat and healthy”.  If you think that the premise would clearly indicate a hot mess, you are absolutely right.  In an effort to appear neutral, he had fat activists, as well as people representing an anti fat position.  In what world is this a balanced debate?  When you have people questioning your right to exist, and questioning your right to take up space, it is a forum of bigotry in which fat bodies become vile objects.

We’re not fat haters we don’t have hate for fat people. We hate fat behaviour. We hate laziness – Michael karolychyk while wearing a t-shirt that says no chubbies

Isn’t that nice, he doesn’t hate fat people.  I wonder if he wants a cookie for his amazing show of tolerance?  Of course to do this, we have to ignore his conflation of fat with laziness.

For someone to be discriminated against, there has to be something innate like race or sexual orientation when you are talking about judgement. Habitual and improper eating is what is causing almost all obesity, and that does not need protection –Meme Roth

So I suppose the fat shaming of Gabourey Sidibe, Kelly Osbourne, Jessica Simpson, Kevin Smith, Monique and Queen Latifah is all just a figment of our collective imaginations.  I suppose people don’t really stare and giggle when fat people eat at a restaurant.  OOOh and my personal favourite, I suppose all gyms are friendly when fat people enter to try and improve their level of physical fitness.  It is certainly a problem when people feel as though they have to diet and lose weight before they can even comfortably enter a gym.

A chubbie is someone who is lazy, makes excuses and doesn’t want to accept accountability. We have thrown cupcakes at our clients. If you can’t handle my program that means you can’t handle the truth. If we have a client who is routinely cheating on their diet and they are lying about it we give them a urinalysis. – Michael karolychyk

Right, it’s not about accepting yourself for who you are but wallowing in food and denial because it is just sooooo much fun being fat.  Why even consider the fact that sometimes fat is a manifestation of an illness and not and illness in and of itself.  I suppose his approach would be news to my resperologist and my rheumatologist, but hey, everyone is competent to give medical advice these days aren’t they.

Nobody wants to address why these people keep getting larger and larger, costing us more money for health insurance, costing us more money in fuel costs, causing so many problems in our country. If nobody wants to address it, we’re going to be talking about three airline seats in a couple of decades. – Michael karolychyk

Are you freaking kidding me?  No one is shaming fat people for daring to take up space.  I suppose all of the diet ads which tout that women should lose weight so that they can wear a bathing suit (never mind that bathing suits come in multiple sizes) aren’t aimed at fat people.  What about the fact that the first lady is so focused on childhood obesity that she publicly announced putting her daughter on a diet, never mind what it did to the child's self-esteem, and the fact that despite the whole everything in moderation mantra, chocolate Easter eggs were banned at the White House Easter egg hunt this year.  Between “The Biggest Loser” (which btw is UNHEALTHY) and Jamie Oliver’s tears, I cannot go a day watching television without someone telling me how gross my body is and what I should be doing about it. 

But just in case the message did not get through to you, Dr. Phil offered us a woman who is trying to change her fatty ways in the body of comedian Erica Watson.  He generously arranged for her to work with Jillian Michaels of “The Biggest Loser” and when Peggy Howell from the National Association to Advance Fat Acceptance  tried to interject on the grounds of safety, he quickly shut her down.  You see, this was not about having an objective conversation, this was his attempt to tell fat people that we are the problem and not society’s incessant shaming and failure to provide accommodations.

Even the so-called middle position played by Kelly Osbourne was filled with problematic elements:

I took more hell for being fat than I did for being a drug addict. You know that you can help it if you really want to, but it so hard to change and to find the motivation.

So in the end, despite having fat people in his family and not being a thin man himself, Dr. Phil unsurprisingly decided to parrot the dominate discourse of fat equals unhealthy and disgusting despite supposedly presenting both sides of the issue.  In true Dr. Phil tradition he closed with:

Body size is an indicator of your health, there is a risk factor associated with obesity.  There clearly is a choice here, when you chose the behaviour you chose the consequences.

In this he is absolutely correct, as I will never get the hour back of my life that I wasted listening to people spout bigotry and ignorance as though they knew better than I what is good and healthy for me. I made the choice to listen to his bigotry and my consequence is the anger I now feel.

NAACP President Benjamin Jealous and Gay Rights

The feud between the White members of the LGBT community and the heterosexual members of the Black community continues to wage on.  Though both groups are marginalized, both maintain elements of privilege due to the hierarchal construction of our shared social world.  We spend more time talking at each other than to each other and this has led to anger and bitter recriminations on both sides. 

The NAACP has been a strong out spoken advocate for LGBT rights and in fact, many Black leaders, which includes the congressional Black Caucus,  have spoken in support of the LGBT community and yet, Blacks continue to be constructed as uniquely homophobic.  When gay marriage was lost in Maine, the LGBT community could not use race as a factor because of the percentage of people of colour in the population and yet, there was no suggestion that Whites as a group are uniquely homophobic.  The moment that people of colour are removed from the equation, suddenly race is no longer a factor, though whiteness is just as much marked and disciplined by our understanding of what it is to exist as a racialized body in North America as any other grouping of people.

Jealous discussed the inability to reach some form of understanding between the LGBT and the Black Community in an interview published at “Big Think”.

Jealous is also attuned to the civil rights struggles of another minority group—gay Americans—and aware of the public perception that black activists have been lukewarm in supporting their cause. Yet for his own family as well as the NAACP, he says, gay rights are not only important but "personal"—and if there's a gap between the movements, it's a product of insufficient outreach from the LGBT side.

Even in his support, Jealous relies on privilege to explain away the issues between the two communities and in the process ignores the people of colour who are LGBT and therefore living examples of the intersection between the two communities.  It is privileged to believe that marginalized bodies should educate you about the issues and justify why social action is needed.  We can only ignore oppression when it does not directly affect us and this is why we must always look within ourselves first to understand the various ways in which our bodies are encoded with privilege.

Even with the knowledge that expecting to be spoon feed knowledge is an example of privilege; the reality is, that if a marginalized group wants to move forward in their drive for equality, they will need a coalition of bodies because no fight for civil rights has progressed without a ground swell of support from a wide spectrum of the population.  This means enabling privilege by not only explaining the issues but reaching out to targeted communities.

It is not enough to say that you are oppressed too and therefore you should know better, because though no oppression is ever good, no two are the same, despite being built on a desire to support hierarchy and “othering”. When Blacks look at the GLBT community they see White faces staring at them and when this is coupled with the just like you tagline, it hardly encourages a feeling of solitary because just like you necessarily means White and class privileged.  Appropriating parts of the Black civil rights struggle only further implies that this is a problem of rich White people who are willing to play with what is considered to be real oppression for their own gains. 

Let’s be honest, Gay rights does not involve slavery, Jim Crow, lynching, a lack of economic progress, over representation in the prison industrial complex, etc., but the closet, gay bashing, lack of good media representation, DADT, ENDA, housing discrimination, employment discrimination and  HIV/AIDS, are all horrors unto themselves that present a unique challenge that can and should stand on their own. If the BLGT community wants an outpouring of popular Black support, rather than just the support of what are in some cases self appointed leaders, the face of TLGB activism needs to reflect the actual population and not simply the oppressed White Castro gays that don’t want to be treated as niggers because honestly, that is how the appropriation, Gay is the new Black, and we’re just like you reads, whether or not it is fair.

People join movements to fight oppression when they can empathize with the situation and a White face on the GLBT community is problematic for Blacks who have had the boots of White oppression placed upon our necks for hundreds of years.  No one, no matter how magnanimous and kind, openly and willingly embraces their oppressor and to expect this is to show a distinct lack of understanding of what it is to be of colour in North America. 

If there is to be some reference regarding Jim Crow or the civil rights movement, allow same gender loving people of colour to make the analogy because it is our shared history not yours. The long and short of it is this, if you want Black support, simply allow the people of colour who are part of both of our communities to have a chance to speak about their issues because when the face looks likes you, it is far easier to see the similarities rather than the differences…so yeah, just like you, but with a Black face.

H/T Back2Stonewall

 

Michelle 'Nazi' McGee Slings Transphobic Insult At Chelsea Handler

This is a guest post from the ever fabulous Monica of Transgriot

Michelle McGee, the alleged mistress of Jesse James got a little perturbed over the zingers that Chelsea Handler aimed at her.

On her blog Handler aimed a zinger directed at the 32 year old McGee in which she's quoted as stating, "I guess she doesn’t read magazines, which makes sense since she basically has one on her face.”

McGee sent retaliatory fire back at Handler courtesy of her Facebook page..

“Chelsea, heres some free advice..use some of that botox from your forehead and put it in your flabby underarm skin. Ive seen better wings in a bucket of KFC chicken,” she wrote.

Then Miss White Power 2010 went a step further and added: “In all seriousness, Im a big fan of Chelsea Lately…feel so honoured to have a transexual poke fun of me…”

No, you haven't had a transwoman poke fun at you until now. What I'm about to say isn't intended to be humorous like the pwning you've been getting from Chelsea.

But if people find it to be funny, then that's all good.

Look, Eva Braun for the new millennium, whatever beef you have with Chelsea, leave the trans community out of it.

The trans community is more than a little sick and tired of cognitively challenged cispeople struggling to come up with zingers in dissfests in which they are hopelessly outclassed using transwomen as an insult.

As a matter of fact, I know more than a few transwomen who are better looking than you and don't have swastikas tattooed on their bodies.

I've got a salute for you, and it isn't a stiff arm one. It starts with my extended middle finger.

Race and Two Little Boys

Last night we went to my neighbours for a bbq…Yeah, a night free of the unhusbands creations in the kitchen.  My neighbour has a nephew the same age as my baby Mayhem.  I sat sipping on a rum a coke (it’s not officially beer season) and watched them play.  They were both engrossed in their pick up game of golf that they had organized and were having a really good time.

I smiled an easy smile and realized that this uncomplicated relationship will not always remain this way; you see, my son is bi-racial and the other boy in question is White.  For now, both of them see race and difference, they simply do not apply any weight to it.  Each of these young boys will be shaped in different ways because the world will treat them very differently. 

In time, the little White boy will come to realize that he is a member of the most privileged group ever to walk the face of the planet.  His manhood will not be questioned.  He will be able to walk into a store without people immediately fearing that he will steal something.  Before he opens his mouth, it will be assumed that he speaks English without utilizing slang.  He will not have to be taught to fear the police as a survival tactic.  He will walk through this world like he owns it. And why not, White masculinity has been trampling on the rights of others for a very long time.

When I saw this little boy playing, I saw the face of a future oppressor.  If his parents do not take the time to attempt to undo all of the messages that society will normalize for him, privilege will be as normal for him as breathing air and this will inevitably change the way he will relate to my son.

You see, no matter how close a person of colour is to a White person, race will always have a role to play in their relationship.  White people make assumptions about others based on the normalization of Whiteness that often has people of colour decoding their lives and explaining why such an action or statement is racist.  In fact, no matter how aware a White person is, at some point they will engage in some sort of racist behaviour that will hurt.  This is specifically because of the way that racism has become such a social norm.

I remember having a coffee with a friend of mine when she began to complain about the sexist treatment that she had received from some Arab men. Just as I was about to offer words of support she called them “sand niggers”.  To this day, my mind resonates with shock.  Here is a woman that has seen the door of no return and yet “sand nigger” easily fell from her lips.  While she had every right to complain about the sexism that she had received, racism is how she fought back and this is very much in line with the response many White people have when they feel marginalized.

A precious few are able to see the ways in which resorting to racism only perpetuates marginalization.  For the woman in question, she expected her race to be able to protect her from assault because Whiteness is a privileged class. When White people are wronged they always have race to latch on to and in that moment of rage, they reach for it quite easily because it is a well known equalizer. Using a racial epithet immediately changes the playing field and reduces the person of colour to a thing, an object to be reviled.

My little boy thankfully has yet to have a racial incident but the day is coming. My oldest was taunted at the age of five with children calling him brown boy.  I was not prepared to deal with this because I could not imagine children engaging in such racist behaviour at that young age.  I have learned a lesson from that and will soon prepare my youngest child to deal with what it is to be of colour in this world.  I must arm him and fill him with self pride, because these little friends that he makes today, could discover tomorrow the benefit of Whiteness at the cost of my child’s mental well being and self worth.

Teaching about Race in High School

This is a guest post by Lyndsay

"I am almost done studying to be a teacher in Toronto, Ontario. After growing up in a small city with little ethnic diversity, getting a Bachelor of Arts and Science in biology and psychology at a somewhat more diverse university, I am enjoying living somewhere with sushi at practically every corner. I may teach science in England next year but my hope is to come back and teach courses like Challenge and Change in Society, Women's and Gender Studies and Introduction to Anthropology, Sociology and Psychology in High School."

I am training to be a teacher and just finished a month-long practicum. I taught a grade 11 class a psychology unit in an Introduction to Anthropology, Sociology and Psychology course. At school we are constantly encouraged to teach a curriculum that is more inclusive and works toward social justice. I watched as the teacher who was supervising me taught her class about the lack of biological evidence for our ideas of race and the history of our ideas about race. While she was teaching, I thought about how important this information is for students to know and the opportunities other subject teachers have to teach it.

If you asked most adults, they would likely guess people have been racist since they discovered people who look different from them. While humans have a long history of treating people like they’re inferior, at one point it was often based on people being “uncivilized” or unable to defend themselves. I haven’t read the new book The History of White People by Nell Irvin Painter but it looks like a detailed history of the development of the concept or social construct of race.

“Race as a social construct” can be taught in an evolution unit. This would begin with teaching that before sunscreen or products supplemented with Vitamin D, people developed the skin colour that was most adaptive to the region they were living in so they would not get skin cancer or broken bones before they could pass on their genes. In evolution, traits do not have a value. They are simply adaptive to the environment the person or animal evolved in. Then a teacher could delve into race as a social construct.

“Race as a social construct” can also be taught in a genetics unit. There is not significant genetic evidence to divide people in three or five or ten groups. Geneticists have found more differences within races or ethnicities than between one race or ethnicity and another. Talking about the lack of genetic evidence for dividing people can lead into teaching about how our ideas about race came to be. In both units, students can also be taught there is the most genetic diversity in Africa, which is evidence for people beginning in Africa, and can dispel ideas students have about people from Africa or Asia being very similar to other Africans or Asians.

Talking about how our ideas about race came to be can be done in any science class when teaching about the flaws of science research. Since students are mainly taught core (undisputed) science, they rarely get a chance to try to question science research. Some of the ideas we have about race came from scientists. For example, Samuel George Morton (1799-1851) collected skulls from around the world and measured the interior of them to judge intellectual capacity by their size. He found the skulls of Europeans were largest. Stephen Jay Gould (1941-2002) in The Mismeasure of Man wrote about the errors in Samuel Morton’s work. Everyone should know brain size doesn’t even predict intelligence. Carl Linnaeus, known as the father of modern taxonomy, also classified people into five races and gave each different characteristics. Of course he placed Europeans placed at the top.

The development of ideas about race can be looked at in any course that looks at history from the last 400 years, sociology, or anthropology. I’m sure there are times when this could be taught in an English course too. Of course it’s important to make clear that this doesn’t mean racism doesn’t affect people today. I definitely think it’s important to teach about the impacts of racism as well but that wasn’t the focus of this post. All this does mean the ideas we have about race were created over time by scientists and law makers in particular, over the last 400 years. They justified treating a group of people as less than human by convincing people that this group was less than human. The hope is that by having students understand the history of race they can examine ideas about race they didn’t even realize they had and realize these ideas have not been around forever. Ideas from people from over 200 years ago can be changed. It seems harder to blindly accept ideas when you know they came from fallible people in the past, some of whom were motivated by the desire to make money for their country no matter what the cost to people’s lives.

Tune in Tuesday: Sunday Morning Maroon 5

I actually first heard this song on the now defunct Canadian Idol.  I immediately fell in love with it though the person singing it was voted off that week.  There is something soothing about it.  It makes me think of a rainy Sunday morning and sipping coffee while cuddling with the unhusband.  I think that there is something special about Sunday mornings.  It is a day of rest, relaxation and all around comfort.  

Well you know the drill, please share what you like about this song or the band.

Constance McMillen and Neurologically Atypical Students Sent to “Fake Prom”

Constance first gained national attention when she sued her school to be allowed to attend her prom in a tuxedo with her girlfriend.  Rather than admit that their policy was completely discriminatory, the school cancelled the prom.

Constance has since faced much backlash from the community who chose to blame her for the cancellation, rather than attacking the school board for its discriminatory practice. It would seem that victim blaming was far more acceptable than recognizing how harmful homophobia is, not only to the GLBT community, but to all of society because it enforces a hierarchy bodies.

Constance has proven to be a very brave young woman in the face of all of the naked hatred, but it seems  that the community still had one last humiliation in store for her.

McMillen tells The Advocate that a parent-organized prom happened behind her back - she and her date were sent to a Friday night event at a country club in Fulton, Miss., that attracted only five other students. Her school principal and teachers served as chaperones, but clearly there wasn't much to keep an eye on.

"They had two proms and I was only invited to one of them," McMillen says. "The one that I went to had seven people there, and everyone went to the other one I wasn't invited to."
Last week McMillen asked one of the students organizing the prom for details about the event, and was directed to the country club. "It hurts my feelings," McMillen says.

Two students with learning difficulties were among the seven people at the country club event, McMillen recalls. "They had the time of their lives," McMillen says. "That's the one good thing that come out of this, [these kids] didn't have to worry about people making fun of them [at their prom]."

Shame on this town.  What they did was create people as social outcasts for being different.  In the process, they taught their children that the most important aspect of life is to conform to so-called norms. 

I think what is even more disturbing is that they defend this obvious cruelty by claiming support based in Christian values.  Well, these Christians need to read their bible, because Jesus, who they claim to worship is not credited in the bible as saying one negative word about homosexuality, or people that are differently abled.  In fact, it is certain that Jesus would consider them to be a protected class, because of the way in which both have faced persecution for simply being the children of God. Since each person is made in the image of God, who are they to spit on Gods creation in this way?

I think that this teaches activists a very important lesson.  We cannot afford to dismiss the importance of intersectionality because all social isms are related; they are based upon “othering”.  Constance may have able bodied privilege; however, her status as a lesbian was enough for people to consider her a spoiled identity.  Anything that steps outside of the perceived norms will be stigmatized and people will be attacked, thus making it extremely problematic to suggest that something is not part of a particular groups struggle.

As for the parents that orchestrated and condoned this – they are DISGUSTING.  It’s people like you that perpetuate the hatred that has become normal in this society.  They may think that they have saved the prom for their little darlings, but what they have affirmed to these young kids is that oppression and bigotry are acceptable as long as you are a member of the dominant group.  Since most people will have to face at least one stigmatization in their lifetime, they have built and supported the foundation of oppression that their children will one day face.

To Constance McMillen and the other students who were treated to the special prom, I say have courage. This prom was not a signifier of how awful and worthless you are, rather it is a strong indicator of how low ignorant and over privileged bodies will sink to maintain their undeserved social status.  I am just one woman writing a small blog from Canada, but you are heroes in my book.

H/T Pam’s House Blend.

A Spark of Wisdom: What is the RIGHT form of activism?

This is a guest post from Sparky, of Spark in Darkness.  Many of you are  familiar with him from Livejournal, as well as from his insightful and often hilarious commentary here. Each Tuesday, Womanist Musings will be featuring a post from Sparky.

I have been looking at various brouhahas about activism lately, especially in the LGBT community. In particular, I've been looking at a lot of arguments.

And part of me is happy about that, I have to make that clear now. One of the things I love love love love about LGBT activism and the LGBT community is there is never any idea that we should all be reading off one page. There are few, if any, grand leaders of the movement and we don't put many people on pedestals. And when you gather us together you either have the best party ever or the biggest argument ever. Maybe even both. And I like that, I like that we're not all reading off the same page, I like that there's a variety of opinions and I like that individuality is still a mainstay of us.

But, I digress - on activism itself. I am seeing a lot of arguing as to what is good activism and what isn't. What people should be doing. What people aren't doing. Why X form of activism is better than Y. And here I have to add my own disagreement.

I don't think any FORM of activism is wrong.

I think screaming in fury, waving angry signs and jumping up and down is great activism - it shows you're passionate, it shows that you are angry, it shows that there is something real and tangible and awful to fix.

I think civil disobedience, chaining yourself to fences, holding sit ins, are all powerful activism. It's brave, it's courageous, it shows how determined people are to see this change, again it shows how important it is. It draws attention, it creates visibility, it highlights injustice.

I think spreading the stories of pain is effective activism. Showing everyone the real people who are hurt by discrimination and hatred, remembering the names of the fallen, reporting the hate incidents, putting faces to the numbers and making it clear that the problem is still there are vital to prevent them being dismissed.

I think objectively listing discriminatory laws and policies, of compiling statistics of people fired, of lives lost, of the large scale numbers the problem brings in a calm, clinical manner is effective activism. It presents the issues and the scale of them in an accessible format.

I think marching and demonstrating are a great form of activism. It shows energy, it shows numbers, it shows dedication. It connects you to more people in your cause and increases morale and energy - as well as drawing attention

I think pride parades are a great form of activism. It helps the isolated connect, reinforces the messages of exposure and attention. It sticks two fingers up at the closet and asserts loudly and proudly that we exist and have every right to do so. That we're proud to do so.

I think blogging is effective activism. It spreads the word quickly, to a huge audience and establishes relationships between activists across the globe. It draws attention to stories missed by the mainstream press, it engages people, it brings new insight and opinions to people who were unaware or didn't think on those terms.

I think tweeting is effective activism. I think a tweet can span the world in an instant and have a thousand furious people informed, engaged and responding. From Southwest Airlines to Jan Moir, we have seen the power of social networking.

I think mass mailing elected representatives is effective, especially if each letter is personalised. Ultimately, even the most corrupt and bought politician is elected and has to at least give a nod to his constituents. If enough weigh in on an issue, then that issue becomes important. You may even find one that cares *ducks flying pig*

I even think professional activist and lobbyist organisations - that come under a lot of criticism - are effective activism. I think they establish relationships with legislators, they become groups that they have to acknowledge, even if they ignore them. They become groups that politicians even have to court and make at least some gestures towards (hollow as they may be at times), they have an in.

I think all of this activism is effective, powerful and to be encouraged. I don't think any of them is doing activism wrong. But I think it's possible to do them wrong.

I think that the shouting in anger can often devolve into incoherent rage.

I think meticulously enumerating the facts can seem emotionless and unimportant, ivory tower philosophy rather than real lives and real people.

I think sharing stories of the tragedies can become maudlin and unproductive - especially if we focus on the bad without any considerations for how to make them better or move forwards.

I think Pride Parades can become heavily commercialised and become more about the show and the display than about the message and the community.

I think the professional lobbyists become more concerned with the august circles they move in, their profiles, their profits and the celebrities they get to rub shoulders with rather than the cause itself. I also think it's very easy for these high profile lobbyists to lose connection with both the cause and the people they're fighting for.

Yes, they can be done wrong - gods yes they can be done wrong. And we certainly need to speak up when it is. In fact, I think we have been a lot less critical of the lobbyists than they deserve (to pick one set of failings among many) -  but that doesn't mean that that form of activism is wrong. And that we have to be careful with. There is no one true way - all are effective within their own sphere. But again and again I am seeing people say "we need this activism, not that kind" or that "X is ineffective" or deriding, say, internet activists for their online work, or mocking the civil disobedient for media hounding or sniping at the angry for "putting people off."

I would rather have a 100 voices, than just one voice echoed 100 times. But at the same time, I don't think it's very useful for those 100 voices to spend all their time bickering with each other about how the others talk. We should certainly criticise when there is a problem, when someone is failing badly and not even remotely helping (and, again, I think one of the main problems is that that HASN'T been happening) - or even hindering the way forwards. But there's a difference between criticising them for doing it wrong - and criticising them for not doing it your way.

Pig Goes Pop: Teaching Kids Fat Hatred

 This little game is sold at Toys R Us.  Players roll the dice to determine how many hamburgers to feed the pig, whose stomach steadily increases with each hamburger.  Eventually, his stomach pops from overeating.  Funny ha ha ha.

Look, I don’t like the idea of feeding an animal (notice how they chose a pig) until it explodes from way too much consumption.  This is hardly sending a positive message to children about food and fat bodies.  Though they may have been attempting to teach the lesson of everything in moderation, to me me it screams of people are fat because they just will not stop stuffing themselves. 

I am also disgusted with the idea that the food of choice is hamburgers because everyone knows that fatties spend their day eating hamburger after hamburger, just trying to avoid exploding their disgusting fatness everywhere. The entire game is a metaphor for how disgusting and dangerous fatness is.

Apparently this game was one of the hottest selling toys last Christmas though I just saw the commercial for the first time today.  When we consider that we live in a culture of fat hatred this is no innocent game.

At the U.S Toys R US site the consumers did not complain about the bias that this toy teaches children, instead they focused on its functionality.  Yep, their upset that their nasty little fat hating pig didn’t explode properly.I think that this is very telling because it offers proof that many of the attitudes and behaviours that we claim to be naturally occurring, are specifically taught to children.

When a baby is born, they don’t care whether or not the person holding them is skinny or fat; they simply care about love and having their physical needs met. This toy teaches them from a very young age a negative understanding of their bodies and eating habits.  It says don’t indulge, don’t see food as pleasurable and in a world in which many women regularly starve themselves to maintain an unrealistic weight, this is hardly healthy.

If we want children to make good connections with food, we need to approach it with a sense of pleasure and not  a fear of stigmatization and sickness.   We must regain the celebration of life that eating truly can be.  Food brings families together, it commerrates holidays, as well as sustains our bodies. If we want to stop the un-healthy eating habits that we have come to embrace for the sake of unrealistic ideals, toys like this cannot be considered harmless. 

 

Boys can be Single Ladies As Well

I know that there are some of you who think I have an obsession with the song “All the Single Ladies” however I simply had to post this video.

Description: Two girls and a boy start to sing “All the Single Ladies.”  The father in the front seat instructs his son that he is not a single lady and the child immediately begins to cry.  Realizing that he hurt his sons feelings he says, “I’m sorry, you’re a single lady”.  The child refuses to be quieted even after the father sings a line from the song.

Moments like this are exactly how we inform our children about gender and what it means to be a boy or a girl.  Often as with this young boy, it means discouraging them from doing things that they are naturally inclined to  because we have privileged gender performance over individuality.

When children are discouraged from following their interests they get robbed of their potential.  Though Mayhem  is only four, he has a very decided interest in fashion.  He will often comment on what I am wearing and let me know if he thinks that my skirt does not look good with my shirt.  Though little boys are supposed to be too busy playing with Tonka trucks to notice this, it has become a daily occurrence in my household. None of his interests make him any less male – they make him Mayhem.

Right now the little boy in the video had the courage to show his displeasure at the gender discipline that he received from his father, but as the pressure mounts to perform masculinity, that same scream of injustice may be swallowed.  Gender policing happens on a daily basis and none of us escapes, no matter how much we attempt to ignore the signs.  It seems to me, that if we really loved children and valued their potential, that we would allow them to become who they are, rather than directing their choices based in gender.  

H/T Sociological Images

The Strange Case of Kat Stacks & Fifteen Year Girls Who Sell Themselves (Who Is Looking out for Our Daughters?)

This is a guest post by Max Reddick. He blogs over at soulbrother v.2.  I discovered Max quite by accident and since then he has moved me with his eloquence and tender heart.

 

I have two daughters, two beautifully intelligent young ladies who I absolutely adore to no end. But don’t get me wrong; I love my two sons with equal fervour, equal devotion. However, I have a far different relationship with my daughters. I spoil and dote on them incessantly. They are my heart.

And for some strange reason, when I look into the faces of other young ladies, especially young ladies around their same age, I see them, my two daughters; I see their faces. And when I see these young ladies triumph, when I see them succeeding, my heart leaps, and I rejoice. Conversely, when I see or hear of them being abused, mis-used, or exploited, my heart breaks.

My wife says that I have this crazy compulsion that causes me to mentally adopt children, to always assume the role of father, and when these, my adopted children, do something to disappoint me, or when harms befalls them, I take it much too personally.

My wife says that I am the very author of my own miseries.

However, two stories came out this week that causes me to ponder where all the fathers are, that causes me to ponder what goes on in men’s minds. But most of all it causes me to ponder, if so many men seem only too willing to engage in utterly deplorable, immoral behaviour, who is looking out for our daughters?

Early Monday morning, a colleague e-mailed me the video embedded below and requested that I pen a few lines in response to the video. [WARNING: NOT SUITABLE FOR WORK]

I think I only got through the first thirty seconds or so before I stopped watching, and then sent a return email in which I politely but crisply requested that my colleague not waste my time by sending me such foolishness. However, later when I got on Twitter, I found that the name of the young lady in the video, Kat Stacks, was trending. And the remarks being made about her were disparaging to say the least.

I went to her site, which has been made private now, and amid the profanity and the stories of sexual conquest, I found this strange, non sequitor narrative of her three suicide attempts. And behind each of these suicide attempts is a relationship with a man, with someone who she turned to for love, for protection, for companionship, gone awry.

Instead of love, instead of protection, instead of real companionship, over and over again, she only found exploitation and abuse. At one point in this narrative she returns to her boyfriend/pimp after being beaten by another man, and he proceeds to beat her as his best friend holds a gun to her head. And during the beating, her only reply is, “Why, Daddy, Why?”.

And though we disparage her actions, in her sleeping with rappers it seems that she is desperately searching for some sense of self and access to some measure of power and control in her own life. In fact, she seems almost like a Superhead-lite, looking to find love in all the wrong places. And though we frown on her actions, she is our creation. She is our child.

But perhaps the most startling story to come out this week is that of a fifteen year old girl who took her seven year old sister with her to a party, ostensibly and ironically because she was concerned about the sister’s safety and didn’t want to leave her alone, and once there the fifteen year old began to have sex with various men in exchange for money. At some point, this fifteen year old girl even offered up her seven year old sister as well.

Yesterday, Trenton, New Jersey, police announced the arrest of twenty-seven men in connection with that case. Twenty-seven? You mean that that many men actually participated? You mean to tell me that not one person at the party had the courage, the temerity to stand up for those two children? No one said it was wrong?

One common thread connects these two stories. In both stories, any number of people, of men, stood in line to abuse and exploit these young women; however, very few seemed willing to stand up for them.

While we condemn Kat Stacks’ actions as deplorable and immoral, while we refer to her as a ho or a slut, what about those rappers and other celebrities who seemed only too willing to participate in the exploitation? They seemed only too willing to use their fame and notoriety as weapons to demean and destroy. These nasty motherfuckers filthy little men deserve more than a little of our ire.

And if you want to form a lawless vigilante mob to roll through Trenton and pull those twenty-seven men from their cells and stomp the very life out of them, please swing by and pick me up. But before we go after them, let’s round up all the other men (women) who attended the party, who knew what was going on, but stood by and said nothing; they are as culpable as those who actually participated. How could you stand by and just say nothing?

It all causes one to think. We would like to think we live in a moral society, and we would like to think that most people have the best interests of our daughters (and sons) in mind, but its seems as though the immoral, the predators, are more driven and emboldened by their perversity and degeneracy than those claiming to be good and decent are driven and emboldened by the mandate and urgency of right.

And in the meantime, while we are wandering in circles and pointing fingers and calling people names, once our children cross the threshold of our homes, after they are outside our purview, who is looking out for them? Who has their best interests in mind?

Sunday Shame: When the love of Bacon Goes to Far

I know that Americans love their crappy bacon but honestly, there have to be limits. (Yeah, I’m calling your bacon crappy. It is nowhere near as good as Canadian bacon.) I was chatting with a friend of mine and she mentioned that she had recently bought some soap that smelled like bacon.  Your eyes did not deceive you, I said soap that smells like bacon. 

Fortunately, she recognized how wrong this was and did not decide to bathe in it.  Can you even imagine?  Anyway, instead of relegating this monstrosity to the garbage where it most certainly belonged, she passed it on her to mother.

Let’s consider the work that motherhood entails. In the womb this woman jumped on her mothers bladder, and gave her morning sickness.  In childhood there were bedtime stories, and the cleaning of disgusting body fluids.  There were the endless nights of worry and the cooking and cleaning.  All of this time, effort, and love, and she rewards her mother by giving her soap that smells like bacon.

When I mentioned that this was absolutely shameful and that she would most certainly be the star of this week’s Sunday shame, her only defence is that her mother not only liked the smell of the monstrosity, but asked for it.  Jesus take the wheel.

Right now I dress and take care of my children, but I fully expect them to help me stay on track later in life.  If they let me out of the house with one of those terrible Easter egg hats, or find me dousing myself in bacon, I fully expect them to save me from myself.  She asked for it, is no excuse for letting your mother douse herself in bacon scented soap; it is a call for intervention.

I know I am 100% right on this one.  It screams of Sunday Shame…In fact it is so epic that it might even go down as the chief shame in the annals of Sunday shamehood.  So, let it fly in comments and while you are at, feel free to share what products you have had to hide or remove from your loved one to avoid a similar epic disaster. 

Drop It Like It’s Hot

Hello everyone, what an interesting week of conversation.  Thanks again to all who participated and a special thanks to those who remained respectful, though we were discussing very difficult issues.  As I said in a post this week, Womanist Musings has an open guest posting policy.  If you would like to participate, please send either your original post or a link from your blog via e-mail.  I promise you the process is relatively painless.

Below you will find links to posts that I found interesting this week.  This is a gentle reminder that I did not read the comment sections, so read those at your own risk.  When you are done showing these bloggers some love, don’t forget to drop it like it’s hot and leave your link behind in the comment section.   

Is Leonardo DiCaprio “Bad For The Jews?”

Patrilineality Does Not Require Name Changes

Reclaiming Ugly

Gender Studies and the objectification of transsexual people

Crazy

Say “Fuck That” To The Dress

A step backwards for reproductive rights

Combat Barbie Saves the Day

LINKAGE: Veiling and “Save the Muslim Girl!”

Social capitol and the pain of black women

 The painful state of being

It’s Not As Easy As You Think

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

RapeLay Speaks About More Than Japanese Culture

trigger warning

Just as the title suggests, RapeLay is a game about rape.  According to CNN, the game begins on a train platform and the object is to harass a young woman and eventually rape her.  Obviously, rape as amusement is absolutely horrifying and helps to de-sensitize the participant regarding the violence faced by women all over the globe.

In media reports, opposition has been framed as an effort to protect children and it has been understood  as some sort Asian attack on North American sensibilities.  It is more than reasonable to want to prevent children from engaging in rape as a form of play; however, to understand this as the work of the somehow uniquely perverse Japanese is clearly racist and limited.

This game may have been created in Japan, but rape culture is a global phenomenon because patriarchy is systemic internationally.   Prior to the invention of the internet, you didn’t need to travel to Japan to see rape culture, you simply needed to walk down any street in your hometown, or read a newspaper, listen to music on the radio, or watch an evening of television. Victim blaming is a daily part of life in the Western world.

Westerners have a tendency to frame oppression as something that happens elsewhere because they understand their society to be evolved and somehow removed from much of the violence and inhumanity that troubles the globe.  Consider the way that oppression against women is often constructed as something that happens to Muslim women because of the niqab. This totally ignores the fact that many women actively choose to dress modestly and or veil, as part of their religious practices.  How many times have people professed that real women’s oppression is something that happens in the Middle East?  Even some who speak about the horrendous rate of rape in the Congo, see this as phenomenon that is based in the savagery of Africans, rather than admitting that rape happens every minute in the West.

We should be outraged that Rapelay exists.  We should use whatever means possible within the law to restrict its sale and proliferation, but in so doing, we should acknowledge that violence against women does not solely exist in the culture of “others” .  This line of thought creates Western victims of violence and sexism as invisible, and further strengthens a damaging form of ethnocentrism  that serves to maintain a racialized view of humanity. 

Whether it is the save the kids mantra, or a jingoist impulse to protect American trade, nothing justifies painting this as something those Asians do, regardless of the fact that many of these games originate in Japan.  Western capitalists are rewarded on a daily basis for exploiting women and for glorifying violence in horribly escalating forms.  When women complain about the ways in which the portrayal of violence is damaging, it is often silenced by those referencing sexism and violence in other cultures.  Saying “those people” gives westerners an excuse to ignore the ways in which no space is truly a safe space, if one is female in this world.

 

On When to Speak

This is a guest post from Broadsnark

I am an anarchist, atheist, adopted, jewish, bilingual, woman with a degree in Latin American Latino Studies and a head crammed full of the history of the Americas. I spent a decade working in the law in Florida and another decade working for nonprofits in California and DC.  I know more than your average person about the history, policies, and human rights violations related to the food system, drug prohibition, the prison industrial complex, immigration, and (inexplicably) cowboys.  I believe that justice, peace, and understanding are possible.  I blog at www.broadsnark.com

Growing up in South Florida, I was surrounded by people who had lived horrors that were incomprehensible to me.

I had friends who grew up in Nicaragua during the war and had to hide under their bed as the fighting went on outside. I had friends whose parents were dissidents in Cuban prison. I had friends who watched paramilitaries in Colombia execute unarmed people and who could do nothing but feign support and drink beer with them after. I had friends who told me about seeing body parts on the streets of Haiti. I listened as people with numbers tattooed on their arms talked about losing their entire families in camps.

So much suffering.

And all too often the people who had suffered so much were unable to connect their suffering to the people around them. Nicaraguans looked down on Haitians. Haitians looked down on African Americans. Cubans looked down on everyone and everyone looked down on them right back. Fear, stereotyping, and ignorance all too often prevailed. The communities who had suffered used their suffering as justification for the denigration of others.

It would seem that experiencing dehumanization would make people more sensitive to it, but, just as often, people simply turn around and do the same thing to someone else.

And where does that leave me? I am incredibly privileged. I have not experienced the horrors of war, rape, genocide, poverty. And yet, don’t I still have an obligation to protest when I see groups being vilified? No matter who is doing it? But how do I do that? How do I tell the holocaust survivor that their hatred of Germans is wrong? How do I tell the person whose child was blown up by a Palestinian terrorist that their hatred is wrong? How do I tell the person whose child was shot by Israeli soldiers that their hatred is wrong?

How do I not tell them?

I don’t know.

But I do know this. All of the suffering in this world is connected. It is contagious. It is dependent upon our willingness to vilify other people, to condone hierarchies, to accept domination, to embrace violence, to ignore the suffering of others, to worry about “our own.”

And I am tired of all the suffering.

It’s Friday and the Question is?

I don’t believe that I am the only to think that publishing has undergone a decline.  There is just so much purple prose masquerading as good literature, that I often weep for the trees that were wasted in its production.  This weeks question is:  What authors/books make you wonder how they ever got published?

The Tea Party: A Lesson in Ignorance

I came across these images on Flicker and I thought I would share some of them with you.

Did you notice a trend?  All of these signs have spelling errors and it is highly reflective of who makes up the Tea Party.  They are largely poor and undereducated Whites who fear the loss of the only privilege that they have – Whiteness.  Poor Whites have acted against their best interest economically for centuries.  It is no accident that the more educated you are, the more likely you are to have  liberal views.  I find it ironic that they want English affirmed and yet they themselves are hardly able to speak it, let alone write it proficiently.

The tea party stands as proof of why education is so important.  These people have been sold a bill of goods and with no counter-point, they have accepted this without question.  The ruling White bourgeoisie is never going to tell these people who is really responsible for their impoverishment and their ignorance.  This is why we have seen an attack on so-called liberal college professors and a cult of anti-intellectualism.  Thinking is specifically discouraged, because given the hard facts, it is hard to deny that the real evil in this culture is not poor bodies of colour, or even socialism, but those that live with undeserved privilege.

They don’t even understand that socialism is in their own best interest.  No pure capitalist state exists for a reason – capitalism is predatory and it necessarily marginalizes for the purposes of profit and therefore, those in the working/under class would not be able to achieve any kind of sustained subsistence without some form of socialism. Capitalism is the cult of I in a world that clearly needs a culture of we. 

Socialism means a society that cares whether or not the poor woman across town has enough to eat.  It means that we understand that we are a communal animal and dependent upon each other for survival.  Just our dependence upon touch and human interaction should prove this most basic fact and yet, the ruling bourgeoisie trumpets individualism, and responsibility, while they openly abdicate the debt they owe to marginalized bodies.

If you live in privilege, it is not because you have worked harder than anyone else or because you have some sort of special talent, but that throughout the course of history your family has stood on the shoulders of others to allow you to have access to opportunities that were not available to the poor.  For instance, house ownership continues to be an issue in the African-American community and when we consider that this is one of the easiest ways to pass wealth from one generation to another, is it any wonder that Blacks still exist with little net worth?

When poor White people fight in opposition to healthcare, it speaks to their inability to see their own best interest to protect a class interest that is in complete opposition to their own.  Rush Limbaugh can afford the best healthcare that the nation has to offer at any given time and this is because he has class advantage.  Of course he is not going to want to take care of anyone else and of course, he has developed a sense of self entitlement; his gender and his race have encouraged this from the moment of his birth.

What we can learn from the Tea Party is that education is essential dismantling undeserved privilege.  Teaching children to think critically is extremely important and this means giving them accurate information on which to base their decisions.  People who are not taught to think will follow.  As I have always said people drink the sand not because they see a mirage but because they don’t know any better.

 

RE: Kola Boof

When I asked people to welcome Ms.Boof to the blog, I mentioned that her truth would be a hard one to hear.  Kola speaks from a particular perspective based on her life experience and though we all claim to believe in the value of life experiences, if they conflict with our particular views, many are quick to disagree. 

I am somewhat aware and up to speed on the Israeli/Palestinian conflict, however; I have no awareness of the dynamics between Blacks and Arabs.  This is completely outside of my experience and I would be a fool to attempt to speak to this.  I do think that Ms.Boof has spoken very eloquently on this blog and in fact in ALL of her other writings about her life.  No one has attempted to understand what it must have been like to see your parents murdered before you at the age of 8, or to be sent away from the only family you know because you are to dark.  No one has thought about what it must be like to know that your Arab father bought your Black mother.  That fact alone is jarring to me.  For daring to speak her truth here on this blog, Ms. Boof has received death threats and this is completely unacceptable.

I have received many e-mail complaints since Kola started posting here and a few of you have made your feelings clear in the comment section.  First, let me say I understand that you are upset but to tell me what I must do “right now”, when no one is paying me a damn salary is to treat me like chattel and I damn well deserve better than that people.  It shows a sense of entitlement that is frankly shocking especially in light of my post this week on the economics of blogging and the personal issues that my family has undergone in the last few weeks.

Womanist Musings has had an open guest posting policy for quite sometime, with weekly reminders of its existence.  This means that this platform is open to anyone and in fact many times, simply based on an interesting comment, I have asked readers to expand on ideas/thoughts made in comments.  I created the open guest posting policy and added columnists for the express purposes of expanding the conversation around here.  When I speak, it is from a very specific position and it means that there are issues that I am not competent enough to comment on that need attention. 

If you want a different perspective than that written by Ms.Boof, then take the initiative to write it and send it in for publication.  Examining an issue from many perspectives is always the goal of this blog and this is why I like to think of it as the intersectionality blog.  In fact, the more intersections the better because one perspective is rarely correct.  When I have messed up, you have called me out and I have appreciated it.  I have never attempted to silence legitimate discourse even when it hurts because of my belief in conversation. 

I challenge you to take the time to sit down and articulate your feelings, just as I do every single day.  I am not going to do the heavy lifting for you.  This is your space, just as much as it is mine and we all need to participate to keep it not only current but educational. I have attempted to dedicate this space to marginalized bodies because I know that there are few venues in which we are legitimately allowed to speak our truths and therefore, I once again say to you: speak your truth and it shall be heard. 

 

“The Third Eye Report: Israel Vs. Palestine” By Kola Boof

Egyptian-Sudanese-American novelist and poet Kola Boof has been an agent for Sudan’s SPLA and was the National Chairwoman of the U.S. Branch of the Sudanese Sensitization Peace Project.  She has written for television and her many books include, “Flesh and the Devil,” “Long Train to the Redeeming Sin,” “Nile River Woman” and “Virgins In the Beehive.”  She blogs at Kola Boof. com

We have grown used to seeing the African mother as a maid to be ordered about, or as Zora Neale Hurston so aptly put it—a mule. This image is so imbedded within our global psyche, that the other day, during my introduction to the forum that is “Womanist-Musings,” several people became outraged that the Prime Minister of Israel had complimented me for being a warrior in the protection of—my children; Sudanese children. They scolded me quite viciously; denied that there is genocide in Sudan and suggested that all who believe in freedom have a moral obligation to support and defend the cause of Palestine and reject any connection whatsoever to Israel. In other words, I was being told once again to “put my Black babies down”…and go pick up, nurse and protect “a silken-haired Palestinian baby.”

In the midst of their claim that there is no genocide or Arab Imperial oppression of Black Sudanese, not a single compassionate word was uttered to acknowledge the mass murdering of millions of Chollo (Black African) children at the hands of Arab funded militias. Darfur, now a media catch phrase with I-Pod and microwave owners was thrown out, but no one mentioned the larger story in South Sudan, the one specific to me (war and secession in 2011), and not a single female stood up and said that they could understand how an African Womanist, even a Half-Arab one like myself, would be concerned first, not with saving Palestinian children, but with saving—Chollo children.

These people are devoted activists fighting a wonderful cause. They are steadfast and justified in their rage against the racist oppression, apartheid and degradation of Palestinians at the hands of Israel. They talk of bombs being dropped on the heads of Palestinian children; they raise heaven and earth profiling every nook and cranny of the dehumanization of the Palestinian people. But unfortunately, they are still Westerners quick to order the maid. Apparently, they have never seen “gasoline fire dropped from the sky” on Dinka villages in South Sudan or been a Black-Skinned African mother with bare feet situated on Arab occupied Muslim-governed sand; the oar in her stomach turning as a son or daughter has not returned home before dusk; the instinct of her gut knowing that the “murhaleen” (slave raiders) abducted her child and are selling that child for the back stoop of an Arab household, maybe in Sudan; maybe in Jordan; maybe in Egypt; maybe in Saudi Arabia.

Million-selling books by actual Dinka slaves, such as my close friend, Francis Bok, author of “Escape from Slavery” are ignored or denied no matter how much evidence there is. Even the history of the first Black Woman to be ordained a Saint by the Catholic Church, Saint Josephine Bakhita, a Dinka girl enslaved by Arabs and sold to Italians almost a hundred years ago—even this is ignored.

The perception of these “Western Activists” is wholly one in which only the White Arab and Jewish states exist. And in which White Israel is the “all-evil” and Tanned Palestine is the “all-good.” Anxious and gung-ho to gain justice for those who get media coverage—the Palestinians—these “morally superior” activists detect no African history; no African presence; no African value.

Years ago, while writing my autobiography, I suffered terrible depression recalling an Uncle who had been murdered when I was a child in Sudan. Palestinian dock workers at the ship yard in Port Sudan became outraged when my Black-skinned Uncle was promoted “Foreman” over them. A White American had given my Uncle the position and the Palestinians protested that they would now have to report to this Abeed (slave/nigger)—“abd” (correct spelling) being a term that all Arabs, including the darkest of Palestinians, use on a daily basis to describe anyone who is Black. These Palestinian dock workers never thought about all the Black Sudanese who by rights of majority should occupy those jobs at Port Sudan in the first place—what they cared about was that an “abd” would be telling Humans what to and what not to do.

These “brown brothers,” as Black Americans have famously dubbed them, kicked holes in my Uncle’s stomach. He died the same day he got that position as foreman. Neither his wife; his two children or myself got the chance to say goodbye to him or convey what he meant to us. He was dead.

Nobody reported it on the television news. Arab Corporations, most of them in Egypt, Jordan and Saudi Arabia, own all the local newspapers, radio and television stations in Sudan—a Black Nation—and along with owning all media in this Black nation; it is illegal for Blacks to have weapons; therefore no one from the “abd tulat” (nigger village) could riot or defend my Uncle’s murder. But, of course, the Palestinians and other Arab civilians had arms.

I am describing but one of an avalanche of Black experiences in Arab run countries like Sudan. Countries infested with “Police Racial Profiling,” the mass wholesale rape of Black women and Black children at the hands of institutionalized Arab privilege; Shariah Courts that hand down the law and will of Allah (chopping off of hands)—the majority of those with hands chopped off or tongues cut out of their head coincidentally being Black African, of course. Go to any jail in Egypt, Sudan, Iraq, Saudi Arabia, Libya or Morocco—and you will see that the majority of prisoners are that nation’s Blackest people.

Just as the activists and Womanists in America feel the utmost angst and passion for how they must save the poor downtrodden-oppressed-degraded Palestinians from the cruelties of Israeli injustice—I, a woman born in Omdurman, Sudan to a Charcoal coloured woman who was purchased by her husband, my White Arab father, when she was only fourteen—I feel even greater responsibility and passion for what I know, personally, and for what I have lived personally, which in my estimation is much greater than many of the people criticizing me.

I came to the United States, not as an adult immigrant, but as an orphan adopted by sympathetic Black Americans. My birth parents had been executed in my presence when I was eight years old by the Murhaleen, because my White Arab father (renowned archeologist Harith Bin Farouk) had dared speak in public against Arab enslavement of Dinka-Nuer tribes people and had campaigned against the building of Lake Nuba.

Not two weeks after my parents were slain in front of my eight year old eyes—my Arab Egyptian grandmother, Najet Kolbookek, decided that my skin was “too dark” to for inclusion in my birth father’s family and sought permission from the Mullahs to let me for adoption (as adoption is illegal in Egypt). In no time, I was handed over to UNICEF and sent packing—a narrow wisp of a child who spoke no English and was expected to survive on its own at the mercy of Western adult males simply because—I was dark skinned.

So in light of this perspective, please find it somewhere in your intelligence if not your common sense to accept the fact that I and quite a few North African freedom fighters, particularly Black African mothers, feel that we owe absolutely nothing to the Palestinians; their suffering at the hands of Israel or to the Arab Muslim Imperialists in general, as supporting Palestine is in fact supporting the entire web of Arab nations—nations that have enslaved East and North Africans for the last one thousand years.

I am here to write as a Womanist; to empower other women with my heart and mind—but believe you me, it will attest my heart and mind as created by my unique experiences and my place in the world. And I cannot lie to you. I do not support Palestine; I do not honestly care what happens to the Palestinians. When I was a model and actress in Egypt, Libya, Sudan and Morocco in the 1990’s, I lived as a guest of Swedish Activist friends for ten weeks in the Palestinian territory.

Not a single Palestinian that I talked to cared anything about the children in Sudan being bombed, raped, enslaved. The racial climate of the middle-east caused these Arabic people respond with a hissing denial or indifference whenever I brought up the suffering of Black African people. Of course, because American Blacks have money and influence over politicians in America, the Palestinians feigned interest in the oppression of Black American activists visiting Palestine. But overall, because I actually speak Arabic and Black American visitors do not, I witnessed verbose and mass indifference to the plight of all “abd.” And in particular, my plight was taboo—slavery and genocide in Sudan—it was not to be acknowledged, because of course, the fat Black Women cooking meals in so many of those Palestinian platoons had the tongues cut out of their heads and were marked and purchased for fourteen dollars.

And that is the real Arab world that I am born from. I have never seen in my lifetime any Arab person anywhere on earth march or protest on behalf of Black people or Black liberation. All that I have ever witnessed is hatred and contempt for Blacks on the part of Arabs. In America, for speaking my truth in public, I am met on the radio with death threats and vows written in Arabic to slit the throats of my eleven and ten year old son’s. Yet I, the African mother, am expected to drop everything and go on a sojourn for these people.

Yes, I went to Israel and met with Benjamin Netanyahu.

We were both impressed with the presence of the other and he was quite a flirt. I do not agree with or share most of his political views. I think he is very heavy handed and quite unfeeling towards anyone who is not his kind. But in recognizing Israel and South Sudan’s common enemy—the Arab Muslim Imperialists—Netanyahu helped me to save untold Black lives.

Guns, ammunition, clothing, medicine and food for the Dinka-Nuer and Shilluk tribal people of South Sudan were provided to my Commanders in the SPLA, Yaka and Athor. We were given the means to fight back against our oppressors, Bashir’s Arab regime in Khartoum, their Oil Company investors and their tentacles throughout the world Arab governments. No armies or activists from the United States, Black America; Canada or Feminists or Womanists—none of them lifted a finger to give African mothers of Sudan what we needed—the means to protect our children’s lives. But Israel did.

I am proud for what I have done. My allegiance as a woman being first to my womb; I feel that in the name of our Mother, the Goddess Sudan—I have not let down the children of Africa. And I never will.

Tima usrah (through fire comes the family).