Flower Girl #2: Are You Moved?

I was chatting with Jaded16 yesterday, when she asked me if I was familiar with the work of Margaret Bowland. She sent me a link to the following image and I was immediately captivated by it.

The pain and the sadness of this little girl reminded me of all the ways that our daughters are told that they are not worthy from birth.  The white paint speaks to me of the way that Black children learn to internalize Whiteness as good, and therefore perceive themselves to be defective and unworthy. 

I am very interested to know how or if this image touches you and why.  Art often makes us confront that which we would happily ignore and therefore, I think this work is a great conversation piece.

Instead of "Violet Tendencies", Mindy Cohen Should Go Back To The Facts of Life

You ever come across a movie trailer that just makes you go WTF?  When I saw  the trailer for "Violet Tendencies,"  the new flick starring Mindy Cohen from "The Facts of Life", I just sat there with my mouth hanging open, feeling like I had been hit by a mack truck. It takes a lot of effort to get that many harmful tropes in one movie, let alone a two minute preview.   I think what bothers me the most about this movie is that some fool will think that it is progressive because it has gay characters -- and there is even sexual contact between gay men.  "Violet Tendencies" is an example of how to get it wrong -- not right.

The Things We Always Remember Edition Of Selective Memories

Jaded16 is a Radical Feminist from India. She writes a humour blog ‘Oi With The Poodles Already’, attempting to make her world a little woman-friendly using healthy doses of irony and sarcasm to de-condition the Indian masses. It is at times like these when she loses all her sense of humour and starts looking for a rock big enough to live under. 

I saw Before Sunset about two years ago and this one line has still stuck around in my head -- "Memories are wonderful things, if you don't have to deal with the past". Contrary to popular belief I don't quote  such lines quite ritually. Because that would be embarrassing; not that I know anything about it(ish). But this week as I was teaching Jhumpa Lahiri's "The Third and The Last Continent" to my students, the question of 'Indian-ness' came up throughout the text. We started off with describing all things Indian -- Gandhi, sarees, removing shoes at the doorstep, Malgudi Days (this was mine. My students have no clue of R.K.Narayan) and cricket. Cricket in India is what God is to the Pope; maybe Indians are more loyal to cricket, I'd say.

Suddenly, one of them said, "Indian-ness is hating Pakistan"; a sentence that still chills my bones.  A class of 13-year old children (emphasis on CHILDREN) have such strong views on a community they have never actually interacted with, backing their views with various cultural stereotypes all aimed at objectifying and dehumanising a specific people, I stood rooted to the spot, unable to speak for a while. Sentences like, "Muslims are like that. They are a hateful, violent community", "They SMELL!", "Why do you think no Muslim is ever on the 'Most Successful People' page?" and the old obvious standby "Most of them are terrorists anyway" started swirling around before I could stop them. They even made distinctions between certain sects, making sure to highlight the Gujarati heritage of Khoja Muslims, as if that's the reason they are 'different' and 'better' Muslims. Then the Saudi Arabian Muslims are 'more sophisticated' than the rest and "the US Muslims are the best, because they aren't really Muslims at all" concluded the class with a laugh.

Bill Cosby Tells Black People Off Again

Do you remember the good ole days when Bill Cosby was too busy selling Jello Pudding Pops to open his mouth about race, drugs and poverty? Just because he was America's favorite dad during the eighties, does not mean that we have forgotten that he was too busy "being human" to get involved in the civil rights movement of the 60's.  When comedians like Dick Greggory were giving it all for the cause and risking their careers, Cosby took the safe route.  In fact, safe is about all he has ever been good at, and now he has the nerve to repeatedly stand on a podium and lecture people.

According to Bossip (even a broken clock is relevant twice a day)  Last Saturday at the 2010 Essence Festival, Cosby used his position as a keynote speaker to display his special brand of father knows nothing:

“We’ve got to lay it out for them,” Cosby said when asked about how to help cut the rate of teen pregnancies in America. “Let’s tell them about life. You’re 14 and having sex. OK. So, what kind of job do you have?”

Cosby, who received a standing ovation when he walked on stage, said the African-American community must get involved if change is going to occur in any area.

“Apathy is strangling you to death,” he said, to rousing applause and a few ‘Amens’ from the crowd.

"Get up. Stay on the scene. Be a studying machine,” he said, drawing from soul singer James Brown’s lyrics.

"We need to start getting into people’s business. We need to say, ‘Hey, I’m your cousin man, I’m your brother, I’m your sister and I don’t care if you don’t talk to me anymore but your teenage daughter ain’t got no business dressing like that!’ Tell them.”

So, through all of that blather, I took away a good dose of  sex and slut shaming, as well as ageism. Who is he to decide how a young girl should dress and what does that have to do with how successful she is in life?  Is prohibition on sex only for young unemployed teenagers, or does it apply to adults who are currently out of work?  With a vicious recession going on, and the fact that it has impacted large sections of the Black community, very few people will be getting their grove on. Heaven forbid the man offer real soultions that don't shame people like free birth control, STD testing and EDUCATION -- you know that thing he is always touting.  For a man that didn't exactly keep it in his pants during his lifetime, he has a lot of nerve to get up on a stage and lecture anyone about sex.

Now It's A Slogan:"Yep I'm A Racist"

When I first saw the headline for the following video: "Yep I'm A Racist," I assumed that this was some sort of ironic sort of fauxgressive nonsense that supposedly liberal people spout, but instead it turned out to be good ole fashioned God fearing racism. Who knows, at this rate, the KKK might be fashionable again.  I am once again going to put this nonsense below the fold for those of you that are at work.

Spark of Wisdom: The Importance of Safe Spaces

 

This is a guest post from Sparky, of Spark in Darkness.  Many of you are  familiar with him from Livejournal, as well as from his insightful and often hilarious commentary here. Each Tuesday, Womanist Musings will be featuring a post from Sparky.

Having just come back from Pride (and still not slept the clock round, which is what I really need to recover from the last 4 days of wonder without sleep) I am going to natter on about the wonder that are safe spaces. 

I am a great fan of safe spaces. Because the heteronormative world is not a pleasant place. It just isn't.  

It has constant little pricks always poking you over and over again. You open a book and there's straight people, you look out the window and there's lots of straight families, you turn on the television and lo, straight folks abound. Adverts are 99.9% straight, television is awash with straightness, the radio's playing yet another boy loves girl song. It's everywhere - and of course, the accompanying little whisper "you're not normal, not normal, not normal, not normal. You don't belong here." Which is damned irritating at times. 

It has a lot of little stabs as well. Those girls there discussing, well, something, which is apparently "so gay." Those kids over there are having an argument, apparently one of them is a "fag". We turn on the television to see a loving homosexual couple! Who have died. Again. But don't worry, straight female lead has a sassy gay friend to make it all better. 

Then of course there are the great big hammers. The fear, the running, the hiding, the hospital visits. We know the badness, I don't need to mention it. 

Living in heteronormative society can be a little like constantly having your eyes poked with sporks. It's irritating, it's painful and can lead to severe injury. 

Then we come to Safe Spaces. In a safe space, the sporks are absent (or at least massively blunted). Safe spaces are places where we do belong, places where we can relax. Places where we don't need to be on guard or afraid or constantly having our eyes sporked. For me, walking into a place I consider a safe Space is like 10 hours of therapy and a very large Bacardi (mock not my drinking habits). It's like taking off your tight shoes and tie after a very long day - except it's a day that has lasted months and the shoes are so tight you can hardly walk and the tie is stopping you from breathing properly. 

Happy Birthday Frida, I See Your Pain

When I first discovered Frida Khalo many years ago, something about her work called to me. During her lifetime her politics were decidedly leftist and revolutionary. She engaged in affairs with both men and women at will and her paintings centered women, or more specifically herself.  What's not to like about this incredible woman?  But there was something more to my love of her work that I could not articulate-- that is-- until like her, my body betrayed me.

 The Broke Column (1944)

Frida had health problems most of her life.  She was a polio survivor and a tragic bus accident would leave her with chronic pain for the rest of her life.  The above painting was completed during a time when her health had taken a turn for the worst, and she had to wear a metal corset for five months. She called this contraption "punishment" because she hated it so much.

Same Sex Domestic Violence on "Police Women of Memphis"

Trigger warning for graphic descriptions of domestic violence.  The video also contains disableist language.


Let me start out by saying unequivocally, that no one deserves to live in a violent situation. No one, no matter what the relationship, has the right to put their hands on you and cause you physical pain. 

Like many straight cisgender women writing about social justice, I often fall into a very predictable pattern, because I view the world through my specific lens of privilege.   This means that when I think about domestic violence, I picture the image of a man battering his defenseless wife; I immediately think of two cisgender people that are heterosexual.  I know and have known for a long time that violence does exist in same-sex relationships, and yet It never comes to mind unless it is  directly in front of me as it was in the following video.
(note I am placing this below the fold because of descriptions of violence).

Kate Perry Should Go Back to Kissing Girls in California

Kate Perry already owes the world for singing, “I kissed A Girl”  Yeah, if it’s a girl it’s not really cheating, because that isn’t really sex right.   I had sincerely hoped that when the song faded into oblivion that this would be the last I would hear of Kate Perry, but apparently, the woman is determined to share what looks like a drug fueled fantasy with the world.

So I just have to ask what the hell is this?:

And what pray tell is this?

Is she trying to make some playful point about breastfeeding that I am missing?

Singing Children

Itoro Udofia is an artist and writer living in Amherst, MA. Currently, she is attending graduate school to study social justice and education. Her work focuses primarily on the African Diaspora, black womanhood, identity, solidarity, and love. She hopes to continue using art as a tool for social justice.

I hear the children singing against the mourning dove’s cry

They tread red earth and praise a blue sky

They eat the raw cocoa

They tell me it’s sweet

I’ve tasted it too

I say,

“Too bitter to eat.”

I hear them humming

I’ll try to hum too

I’m no longer a child

But I can still stay in tune

My notes scurry to run with these children of the sun

They sing to me that I cry too much

Singing,

“Mother! Give us your teardrops. We’ll drop some in our eyes

We’ll cry into the soil and help you sprout more life

When you can cry no longer

We’ll cry the final batch out

If we do things this way

There’ll be enough crying to go around

One day we’ll cry less. Laugh more

One day we’ll cry less. Laugh more.”

Sing the children against the mourning dove’s cry

They tread red earth and praise a blue sky

They eat raw cocoa

They tell me it’s sweet

I’ve tasted it too

I say,

“Too bitter to eat.”

I say,

“Soon. Too bitter for you to eat.”

Children Make A House A Home

This weekend for the first time since my children were born, we spent four consecutive days apart. They went out of town to go to a wedding --and as they hopped in the car and waved goodbye I felt my chest tighten and I struggled against the urge to pull them out of the car. To be honest, they are perfectly safe and are with family; they just aren't with me, their mother.
A few of my friends made jokes about how quiet the house is.  You see, when Mayhem gets going, you can literally hear that boy across the street.  The boy was born with lungs for telling people about themselves. The house has been clean since the day they left, and there is nary a stray sock out of place.  Even the family un-dog Darren, who I thought would be relieved at their absence, has taken to checking their rooms every few minutes and meowing copiously while lying by the front door.

The children are what make my house a home, and without them it just feels empty and lonely. No one woke me up this morning asking, "mommy did I have breakfast last night, I'm hungry?" No one came to me to rat a sibling out, while complaining of a barely visible injury -- and most importantly, no little arms embraced me and said I love you.  Since my boys could talk, there has never been a day without an exchange of our love and there has never been a day without smiles and laughter.

Sunday Shame: Feminist Cat Betrayal

You may remember that awhile back I was engaged in a blog war with the excellent Cara of The Curvature and Feministe, regarding a little collective that I revealed to the world - The Feminist Kitty Collective.  At the time, few were openly talking about their love of dogs, and instead, many were privileging cats, thus ignoring the oppression faced by dogs. This is a very serious matter, because in the process, the terrible conditions that some female dogs must endure is ignored, due to the fact that women have been seduced by nefarious felines. I watched in horror as feminists doled out cat nip, desperate to receive even the smallest return of their love and affection to cats. Not only are women working a double day, hitting the glass ceiling, and doing the majority of housework, cats have now lowered them to kitty litter duty; a task whispered in small circles to be noxious to the nose. Right in front of their so-called feminist companions, cats do their business and meow for their female owners servants to clean their mess.  How can this clear indoctrination and enslavement of women serve to benefit women's social status?   I announced that for the sake of every bitch in need of a healthy game of fetch:

Hey Hey, Ho Ho, Feminist Cat Lovers Have Got To Go

I spoke of the terrible pet performance that dogs are forced into: sitting, coming (no that is not as good as it sounds) and staying on command no less, while these so called feminst cats cruel overloads roam around freely.   I thought I was beginning to see an end to the stranglehold of cat hegemony, but then, the Kitty Colllective declared all out war.  They meowed foul and circled the wagons determined to maintain the oppressive cat supremacy that seems to have taken hold of so many feminists.  These women claimed to care about intersectionality and yet day after day they betrayed these principles to post pictures of cats, thus leaving dogs to the mercy of patriarchy who have declared them mans best friend.  So much for equality and women's liberation, because  Felis catus is quick to declare

when their feminist companions slaves are slow with an ear scratch or dare to use the lint brush without thanking these stuck up kitties for sharing their hair.

Drop It Like It's Hot

Hello everyone.  I am continuing to tweak the new template.  The blog roll has been moved to the top and I have added a new tab which has a blurb for each regular contributor as well as contact information should you wish to contact them directly. As with anything new it is going to have its hiccups, so please feel free to let me know if something is not working properly is difficult to use.
Part of what makes Womanist Musings so great, is the fact that there are a variety of voices speaking about their experiences.  If you would like to participate in the conversation, please send in either your original work or a link to a blog post via e-mail to womanistmusings [at] gmail.com.  Please include a small three line bio and an image that you would like to associated with your work.  The more people we have talking, the wider the topics of conversation will be.

Below you will find a list of blog posts that I found interesting this week.  Please show these bloggers some love and check them out.  When you are done, don't forget to drop it like it's hot and leave your link behind in the comment section.

Conservatives and the Misunderstanding of Nazi Germany
Mel Gibson: Unsurprising but still shocking 
Farm Workers Dare Xenophobes to Take Jobs
Structural Racism and Mass Deportation
Human Rights Violations at the G20
The Final Statement
Nursing and nuance: breastfeeding isn’t creepy except when it is
fail to see how struggles are connected to one another
Flibanserin:Is a ‘Female-Desire Drug’ a Bad Thing?
Male geeks reclaim masculinity at the expense of female geeks
Slutty Celebrity Quote (and Photo Shoot): Hellen Mirren
Testosterone and Sex Drive: My Second Adolescence
Out of the (Gene) Pool: Disability and Biological Children
Mel Gibson, save your apology
Stupid Things I Am Told
Indigenous Activists Take-On Canadian Government: Successful Resistance to G8/G20 Summits
The “End Of Men” Isn’t The End of Racism
stay a while….

It's Friday and the Question Is......

So, by now you know that Mel Gibson must be competing to be the largest douchebag in Hollywood. The first Mel Gibson movie that I ever saw was "Braveheart", Even though it was filled with many historical inaccuracies, I fell absolutely, 100% in love, and it became one of my favourite movies -- and then I heard about his Anti-Semitic tirade -- and I found I could never feel the same way about it again.  I cannot foresee a time when I would ever invest my time or money into one of his movies, because I don't support assholes.  So today's question is, what actor has so ruined their public persona that you can never again watch one of their movies? 

Queen Latifah, Chris Brown and Forgiveness

By now I am sure that you have heard all about Chris Brown's performance for the 10th annual BET awards.  Yes, the new age Ike Turner got emotional singing Michael Jackson's man in the mirror, and now we are all supposed to say let bygones be bygones. 
I have much love for Queen Latifah, but Dana honey, you were wrong when you made the following statement:

"I thought Chris Brown's performance was amazing, just amazing," she raves. "Not only was it a knockout performance, but his heartfelt emotion ... you can't plan that, you can't write that, it's just truth."

She also thinks that it's time to forgive Brown and move on. "The guy is a young guy and he made a big mistake and he needs to bounce back from that. And he needs an opportunity for a second chance," she says. "We can't condemn that kid. He's a kid and he needs to correct the mistake for the future, not live in the past."

To put it bluntly, she says: "He needs to be forgiven. Enough already. We can't keep beating him up. She's [Rihanna] going to grow and he's going to grow and we have to allow them both to do that." [source]

 I cannot believe that she said the phrase "We can't keep beating him up," in reference to the public's refusal to continue to support Chris Brown's career. In case the queen forgot, the only one that got beaten up in that relationship was Rihanna.  It is her body that was covered in bruises, when Brown decided that he had the right to lay hands on her in anger.

Gambling With Welfare Money, is it Our Business?

pp

Multisource political news, world news, and entertainment news analysis by Newsy.com

Transcript: 

You know even in hard times you find people hitting the casino, but what if we told you your hard earned tax dollars are being gambled away?  A shocking L.A. Times report shows that California's welfare recipients are using state issue debit cards at casinos statewide.

Stephanie Zepelin: California welfare recipients using state issued debit card withdrew more than 1.8 million dollars in tax payer cash on casino floors starting October of 2009 right up to May 2010.  The revelation is outraging California residents.  Los Angelos Times  reporter Jack Dolan broke the story and indicates the problem could actually date back to 2002:

"officials at the department failed to notice for years that welfare recipients could use the state issued cards..
...to withdraw taxpayer cash at more than half of the tribal casinos and state-licensed poker rooms in California."

On NPR Dolan described the extent of the problem and what the state said about the revelation:

"Our review of state records show that it was slightly more than half of the casinos in...these smaller poker rooms in the state have ATMs that accept the welfare benefit cards.  And that they simply had not noticed that money was being withdrawn on gaming room floors."

The Consumerist puts the amount discovered into persepctive:

This amount represents less than 1% of the total welfare spending in the state during those months. 

In his column in the Atlanta Journal Constitution Bob  Barr says:
"California clearly didn't put the proper safeguards in place. Are these government officials so naive themselves  that they actually believed that in issuing virtually...unrestricted debit cards to people on welfare that they would use the cards only for purchasing bread, milk, and eggs?"

So what do you think of this latest revelation, an honest mistake by the state, or a major screw up that could result in big changes?

First, let's start with the often overlooked fact that casinos amount to little more than a tax on the people that can least afford it.  They are a vacuum that sucks up capitol and gives back very little in return.  They further feed on an illness - addiction to arrive at their profit.  They draw people in with shiny advertising, flashing lights, and loud sounds.  They scream come in, something exciting is happening here. Once you are inside, the floor plan is specifically designed to keep you in the building. The layout of the slot machines and table games are set up like a maze.  Windows are in short supply, so that patrons are not aware of the passing of time -- and finding a clock is like looking for a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.

What is often most hard for people to understand, who have no experience with gambling addiction or the gaming industry itself, is that the rush from gambling does not come from winning.  I repeat, the rush of gambling does not come from winning; it actually comes from losing.  This is why before even placing a bet, most gamblers will tell you that they are down hundreds if not thousands of dollars for the day. Ever wonder why a gambler cannot leave ahead?  It is because they have not gotten the adrenaline rush from losing -- a win does not feel as though anything has been wagered.  These casinos are specifically designed to ensure that they take every last dollar of disposable of income that a person has. They are predatory from start to finish.

Why would a welfare recipient be drawn to a place like this?  A casino sells dreams.  It makes you think about having enough money to do whatever it is that you want in life.   It tells you that the very next pull of the slot machine, turn of the card, or roll of the dice could make you richer than your wildest dreams -- if only have the guts to take the risk.  There is not a single game on a casino floor that does not have a bet in favour of the house, and in fact most people that gamble don't even know what the best bet to make is of their losing options.  They ignore the red/white on roulette or blackjack (which btw when they play they will still continue to pull cards thinking that the object is to get as close to 21 without going over; it's not as simple as that) They will sit and play longshot games like red dog, Caribbean stud, or Let it Ride, too fooled by the pay out odds to realize that they be better off  just writing the casino a check.

Shedding Some Light on the Back of the House

I have written recently about the horror that gets caught by my spam box, (thankfully before it hits the blog) and some of the less than pleasant e-mail that I get.  I thought today I would share some of it with you; consider it a sample of what I look at everyday.   The back of the house at Womanist Musings is a very ugly place, and one that pains me to look at. As I was reading these over, I honestly could not decide who was the most vile, so I will leave it up to you.  If you still have the spoons left, please share why you made your selection in the comment section.

D.A.D.T. BEFORE D.A.D.T.

 

Robert L. Danforth is a freelance writer and blogger for BONIFACE NOW.BONIFACE NOW is a multi-media weblog launched during the summer of 2009. The blog spotlights news and people surrounding popular culture in the U.S.A.
Danforth is a published political commentator at Advocate.com.
He lives in New York City.

"I was summoned by my commanding officer and he directed me to report OSI, Office of Special Investigation. I sat in a small room, where I waited for more than an hour. Finally, a man dressed in civilian clothes came in and introduced himself as a special agent of the OSI. He said allegations had been made against me. “What allegations?” I asked. “For being a faggot,” he said in those exact words." Robert LeBlanc, a gay combat Marine who fought in the Vietnam War as quoted online from Staff Sergeant LeBlanc.

Marine Robert LeBlanc

Long before Lieutenant Dan Choi, there was Staff Sergeant Robert LeBlanc. Unlike Choi, until recently I had never heard of LeBlanc, but last weekend, I received a message from him on my Facebook page. I was immediately inspired by his story and want to share it with you.

In the late 1960's, Robert LeBlanc was a combat Marine who fought in the Vietnam War. He became a decorated solider bravely fighting for this country, but after the war he came home to America to face discrimination and bigotry at the hands of the Marine Corps. who suspected he was gay. 

LeBlanc endured interrogations by military officials who pressured him to divulge his sexuality. He was forced to take numerous lie detector tests and faced administrative reviews attempting to discharge him because he was gay. He challenged the system by refusing to answer their questions; a story which is the root of the Don't Ask, Don't Tell policy that we have today. "During interrogations [Robert's] inquisitors repeatedly asked if he was homosexual and [Robert] continually replied "you have no right to ask me the question," says Pam Daniels - author of 'Silent Drums'. 

In the 1970's, LGBT people had no humanitarian groups, supportive council or protective laws to back them, but LeBlanc still fought against military discrimination. His story highlights the challenges that  gay men and lesbians in the armed forces face even today. And whether he was gay or straight, the military had no right to ask him a question of his sexuality at all.

Monstrous Musings: A Review of Eclipse

"Natalie Wilson is literature and women’s studies scholar and author of the blogs Professor, what if…? and Seduced by Twilight. She is currently writing a book examining the Twilight cultural phenomenon from a feminist perspective, forthcoming from McFarland in 2010. Her interest in vampires and werewolves dates back to her childhood fascination with all types of monsters."'

I saw Eclipse last night, in IMAX, with a “Twi-virgin” – a woman who has not read the books, seen either of the first two movies, or been caught up in any way in Twi-mania. Yes, they exist!

Having been immersed in the series for the purposes of my forthcoming book, Seduced by Twilight, a feminist analysis of the phenomenon, it was nice to see Eclipse through a newborn’s eyes, so to speak. She liked many of the things I enjoyed most about the film – the well-done back-stories of Jasper and Rosalie, the wolf/vampire drama and action, the fleshing out of Victoria, Riley, and the newborns, Jane’s icy red-eyed villainy, the creation of a visually stunning world that FINALLY didn’t make Edward look like a sickly corpse with too much red lipstick.

Then came a part where she physically cringed. I thought she was going to throw up. It was the “oh marry me Bella. I am old-fashioned and want to sip lemonade on a porch with you. Marry me, marry me, marry me” scene that had my feminist-self internally writhing in dismay.

It’s not that I am anti-marriage nor that I don’t get Edward is supposed to be from “another era” (one that I might add was not near as gentlemanly as nostalgic mythmakers like us to believe). Instead, it’s a whole combination of things – their age, the “sex will kill you” vibe, the eroticizing of abstinence, the suggestion that sex for the sake of sex rather than within a marriage for purposes of reproduction is a modern disease “gentleman” like Edward can cure us from. And, of course, the awareness that the author’s religion FERVENTLY supports marriage only for some and that she tithes a percentage of her profits to an institution that names same-sex love as aberrant and sinful – as a disease to be cured. I SO wanted Bella to go all Brangelina and be like “we can’t get married until everyone has the right to get married, Edward.” Yeah, not gonna happen.

Naomi Campbell's Bald Spot Speaks Volumes

Gawker seemed to take joy in posting a picture of Naomi Campbell's bald spot, without thinking for one moment about how traumatic this might be to Black women.

"Naomi Sweats!" is the headline, but I see no evidence that the magnificent monster that is supermodel Naomi Campbell shed a single crystalline drop of sweat from her flawless pores while modeling a fur vest in New York's 90-degree weather yesterday. There is proof, however, that Naomi's natural hair is either nonexistent or buzzed. Apparently this is big news, but did anyone actually think those waist-length flaxen locks were real? I guess they could have been a mere weave, but the tightness of her immobile center part has always read "wig" to me. Then again, I don't know enough about weaves to make a definitive statement here. Fake hair enthusiasts, proceed to the comments section and let 'er rip.

Let's get this straight from the get go: Naomi Campbell has issues.  No one ever doubted that she wears weaves but she probably does so to protect her hair from the blow drying, yanking and hairspray that  has become standard at a fashion show.  Black hair is fragile and breaks easily.  Even wearing weaves stresses the hair because of the weight and the fact that it pulls on the hair.  Does this mean she should be held up and shamed? 

Gates and Crowley Share Blame

I am sure that you all remember the media storm that occured when Professor Gates was arrested for attempting to break into his own home.  It lead to the great beer summit, where Obama elected himself to play arbiter on race relations.  A report has now been released concluding that both Crowley and Gates were to blame for this incident. 

Because neither Crowley nor Gates changed their attitudes, even after each realized that the other did not pose a threat, the encounter continued to deteriorate and reached an unfortunate ending, the committee wrote.

“Professor Gates could have tried to understand the situation from the point of view of a police officer … and could have spoken respectfully to Sergeant Crowley and accommodated his request to step outside at the beginning of the encounter,” the report said.

“The Committee believes that Sergeant Crowley missed opportunities to find a better outcome,” the report said, once Crowley saw proof of Gates’ identity. “Crowley could have taken greater pains to explain the uncertainty and potential dangers of responding to a serious crime-in-progress call.”

How original, blame a Black man for being a victim of racism and then not having the good sense to properly shuck and jive for authority.   I fail to see how Gates was in the wrong when he was standing in his own home, violating no laws.  In fact, he is lucky to be alive, because many a trigger happy cop has ended Black lives.  Of course the committee did not take that into consideration.   So brazen are cops that one is suing the Sean Bell estate for being injured during the police shoot out that led to the murder of Sean Bell.

It’s Canada Day, So I Am Going To Tell You How It Is

Today is Canada Day.  Last year I put up a series of great videos that celebrated Canada and this year I thought that I would share with you some of the ridiculousness that Canadians have to put up with, as well as a few of the ways we absolutely rock.

This is a raccoon.

Can someone can please tell Gus, AKA Allison McCarthy, that just because Arizona does not have raccoons, does not mean these little bandits aren't tearing their way through our garbage every night.

 

This is bacon: You know real CANADIAN BACON

Right this second your mouth is watering.  I know it must be terrible to live with a weak ass over salted substitute that they call bacon in the U.S. or the U.K.  I know that Americans and Brits try to call it ham because they are living in denial -- but it is time to face facts, Canadian bacon rocks and all else is just a tired sad imitation.

Maple Syrup

Our maple syrup is rich, flavourful, and sweet. It is practically ambrosia...Perhaps if you grovel nicely, I could be convinced to share.

 

Beaver

This is one of our famous attack beavers.  It may seem like a humble hard working creature, but it is far cuter than any English bulldog I have ever seen and shames the eagle with its majesty.  I know that you have been taught that your national animal is a winner, but I assure you that this is just indoctrination; the beaver rocks.

 

Hockey

Do you see that beautiful sea of red?  Do you notice which flag is raised high?  That is the Canadian men celebrating their OLYMPIC GOLD MEDAL WIN in  Vancouver.  And in case you forgot:

The Canadian women owned the podium because this is OUR GAME-- AND IT WAS PLAYED IN OUR HOUSE

I know that a few delusional Americans (MONICA ROBERTS), thought that you actually had a chance and attempted to throw some smack-- but you really should have just stayed away from the cheap ass malt liquor.

 

James Tiberius Kirk

Not only was he the original captain of the starship Enterprise, he was the best one.  What captain can boast of sleeping with so many green women and inserting such awkward pauses into his speech?  He is good because he is awkward yet arrogant. All else pale in comparison.

 

Canadian Health Care

 

Greedy right wing Americans will point northward at us, and rail at our ridiculous socialism.  That’s right, when we get sick, we don’t have to think about insurance or bills because we have socialized medicine.  The father of our medical system is Tommy Douglas -- and he was voted the greatest Canadian.  I think that this says something wonderful about our social values.  My taxes are not cheap, but it is worth every single dollar that I have ever paid.

 

Tim Hortons

 

 

We here in Canada believe in drinking real coffee.  It is so good, that most cities are populated with Tim Hortons coffee shops and we send it overseas to our troops.  Timmy’s serves it hot and cheap -- and Cannucks are far to wise to pay for the overpriced burnt mess that Americans slurp down at Starbucks.  This coffee is so good that we have started to invade the United states: 500 locations and counting.  We don’t need army bases, we simply need to plant Timmy’s franchises to rule the world. VICTORY IS OURS.

 

Money

Above is an image of a Loonie, a beautiful Canadian one dollar coin.  Notice how it features the majesty of a loon.  This celebrates the wonder that is the Canadian wilderness.  And then we have:

I know that you have George Washington, your first president on your one dollar bill, but really that has got to be some of the ugliest money on the globe.  Would a little colour hurt you? And then there’s this:

 

Well I suppose your money is more colourful than American money, but would it be so hard to get a little personality?  And just think of the changes you are going to have to make should Charles ever become King. Do you really want those ears on your money?  Don’t think that the man is going to allow himself to be by-passed either; he has been waiting for his mother to die for decades now.

 

High and Happy

What other country would create an Olympic cauldron that looks like four blunts on fire?  Yep, we Canadians were using subliminal messaging to announce to the world that our pot rocks. You are getting the munchies just looking at the cauldron aren’t you? BC  weed is known as some of the best in the world.  We don’t say iree mon, but we sure as hell say eh whenever we inhale. And maybe someone should tell Bill Clinton we know that the reason he didn’t inhale is because Americans smoke hay and dream of real pot.

 

For our birthday, I think that the world should arrange to allow the immigration of certain Canadians that are killing our buzz:

 

We’ll throw in Alberta to the nation that takes all four

 

 

 

 Happy Canada Day everyone: Eat, Drink, and beware of Moose