Is the Whip My Hair Cover Racist?

 
Willow Smith recently released the song Whip My Hair.  There is something extremely celebratory about a young Black girl singing about hair in a positive manner.  Few can reasonably deny that hair has been used to reduce Black womanhood and continues to have harmful effects to this day.  There are grown women who have no idea what the natural texture of their hair is, because of generations of racism and sexism.

I recently came across a video on youtube, in which a young White girl decided to make an acoustic version of Whip My Hair.

On Canada's 'Highway of Tears'

The "Highway of Tears" are three connected roadways stretching 750km across British Columbia, from Prince George to Prince Rupert. It is the area where 18 aboriginal women have been found murdered, or are suspected to be missing.

These ongoing and unsolved acts of violence have been traced over a 35-year period: the first body found was 14-year-old Monica Ignas, discovered in 1975. In June 1994, 16-year-old Ramona Wilson was last seen hitchhiking to a friend's home; her body was found the following April. Other families are left with a desperate lack of leads: Nicole Hoar was hitchhiking to visit her sister in 2002 and eight years later, her family is still waiting to receive any information about her whereabouts. Last October, the decomposed body of Cynthia Frances Maas was found; she had last been seen alive on 10 September. Her remains were identified through the use of a fingerprint comparison, allowing her family to end their search.

Since the discovery of Maas's body, the media have fixated on the fact that Maas was a sex worker, rather than giving voice to the family and friends mourning her loss. RCMP Staff Sgt Bruce Hulan, who is a member of E-Pana (the taskforce assigned to investigate the missing and murdered women), described the victims as being involved in high-risk activities: "hitchhiking or [involved in] street trade [prostitution]." The continued mention of supposedly "high-risk" behaviour, by both the police and the media, is enough to cause the public to disregard what is happening to these women.

As a result of poverty, racism, sexism, and an inadequate transportation system, these women were left without the basic securities afforded to more privileged Canadians. Indeed, young First Nations women are five times more likely than their Canadian counterparts to die as the result of violence; they have been constructed as a "surplus population", as can be seen by the high rate of trafficking of aboriginal women and girls in Canada.

Finish reading here

Tim Wise On Guilt Vs Responsibility

Wise made a speech in Detroit on October 6th.  The following clip is in response to a question from the audience.

Spark of Wisdom: Predicting The Next Anita Blake Vampire Hunter Book

This is a guest post from Sparky, of Spark in Darkness.  Many of you are  familiar with him from Livejournal, as well as from his insightful and often hilarious commentary here. Each Tuesday, Womanist Musings will be featuring a post from Sparky. 

 

It occurs to me that I'm rapidly approaching the point where I should be looking to buy the next Anita Blake book. Gods why I do this to myself. I think the only defense is that they've now become so utterly bad that they're almost comic.

To extract every ounce of amusement and hopefully set myself up for a pleasant surprise, I have gazed into my crystal ball to predict the plot of this next worthy novel.
 

The scene opens with Anita having sex. I’ll say on the kitchen table - not done that yet and gods forbid we miss a cliche. The sex will probably be portrayed as kinky, but be more vanilla than an ice-cream van. For more detail I predict:

CNN: Frida Khalo and Same Sex Marriage WTF

Frida engaged in many same sex love affairs throughout her life, but she was married to a man.  I certainly do not understand this image:

Did no one care enough about the fight for same sex marriage to ensure that image properly represented the fight?  Yeah, I don't get it.  Am I missing something?

Irene Bedard: The Open Secret of Domestic Violence

You may be familiar with Irene Bedard, as the voice of Disney's Pocahontas, or perhaps in her starring role in the television miniseries “Into the West”.What you may not know about her, is that she is a survivor of domestic violence.  The following is an excerpt from a letter written by her family.

Irene moved to Alaska in an attempt to flee a horrific domestic violence situation. For 17 years, she suffered abuse, both sexually and physically, at the hands of the one person she should have been able to trust implicitly, her husband. The years of abuse left not only her body, but also her spirit and mind, battered. The abuse had been so pervasive, her health began to decline, rapidly. Her doctor began tests to detect cancer, unaware of the abuse. As heinous as the physical and mental tolls were, they were not the only price my aunt had to pay.

Her abusive husband kept her under financial control, taking her earnings, and forbidding her to work in her career field, unless he specifically approved the project. This had a detrimental effect on an otherwise promising career. As I stated earlier, my aunt starred in two important productions highlighting the plight of Native Americans. She intended to use her celebrity to bring light to the rich and beautiful heritage of all Native Americans, and Alaskan Natives, in particular. However, her husband’s control and abuse made this impossible. She could not work with bruises on her skin, and his constant presence at her work sites made not only Irene, but also others in the cast and crew uneasy. This cost my aunt jobs. No one wanted to have her husband on the set, and he would not allow her to work without him being there. While the loss of income was financially devastating for my aunt, the loss of her platform to share her heritage with the world was even more so.

As in most domestic violence cases, not only did my aunt’s husband hurt her physically, and caused her to lose her career, he aliened from her from family, friends, and fans, her support system. He had to have total control over her and their child. It was because of her son, Quinn, that she did not leave. She felt she had to endure all of the abuse for his sake. If she left her abuser, he would follow her, and, she feared, use and possibly harm their son to force her to come back to him. She felt ashamed, embarrassed, humiliated, and powerless. It was only through an intervention by her family that she began to regain her spirit to defend herself, and make a better life for her son. She felt broken. But, with the love, encouragement, and support of her family, she felt there was hope for her and her son. With the help of her family, she moved to Alaska, where she could get treatment for her health, and counseling for herself and her son.

She filed for a domestic violence protective order, and for divorce. She hired an attorney in Alaska, and an attorney in Ohio. Her attorneys told her that she could obtain jurisdiction in Alaska if, in fact, she could prove that domestic violence had occurred. She gathered her evidence, and found her witnesses. All the while, she was still being pursued and harassed, through her son, by her abuser, and even by the law. The very laws that are supposed to protect her were threatening to take her child away from her, if she did not return him to Ohio. But, she still held on to hope that this would work even though deep down she was terrified that she would lose the one and only good thing that came out of her marriage, her son. The Ohio lawyer told her, since she had filed for divorce first, and because this was a domestic violence case, by Ohio state laws jurisdiction would fall in Alaska. She went to trial, in Alaska, to prove the domestic abuse. She had to tell her story and relive the 17-year nightmare, again. When it came it to her abusers turn, he backed out of testifying, and offered her a deal that sounded too good to be true. He acknowledged the domestic violence, but stated that he would only stop contesting the domestic violence, with certain stipulations. Her lawyer explained the stipulations to her and said it would be a good thing because he would have a domestic violence conviction and she was on a limited time frame. She listened to his advice and accepted the stipulations. However, the attorney made a huge mistake, which would cost her greatly. The Alaska lawyer did not read the stipulations thoroughly. One of the stipulations of the agreement is the finding of no facts in the domestic violence case. This gave the protective order no weight in the Ohio courts. Additionally, it moved jurisdiction of the case to Ohio. This was not in her best interest at all. Ohio laws do not offer the same protection for domestic abuse victims and their children as Alaska laws do. Clearly, these concessions were not in her best interest, and his incompetence hurt her case. She even heard him admit to this, later, to her abusers attorney, none the less. The Ohio courts ordered her to come back to Ohio, with her son, or face a Contempt of Court charge, which would have put her in jail, and left her son defenseless and living with an abusive father. Without the protection of the Alaska courts, Irene had little choice but to move back to Ohio, and back to her abuser. Again, the abuser has her isolated from her family, friends, fans, and even work. Again, she is living in fear. Again, she cannot freely pursue the career of her choice. Again, she has to give what money she does earn to her abuser. It is abundantly clear why she was afraid to leave in the first place. Everything she feared about the legal system has happened.

The Old Man and the Health Insurance Policy

Matt Kailey is a transman living in Denver, Colorado, and an author, public speaker, and trainer on transgender issues. He blogs at Tranifesto. In his ideal world, no one would be equal to anyone else – everyone would just be equal.

I realize that any complaint about my health insurance comes from a place of privilege, because, as a resident of the United States, I'm lucky to have any kind of health insurance at all. 

I have, in fact, had some kind of health insurance my entire life, and many people would consider themselves lucky to have my kind of gripes. Nevertheless, we tend to complain at the level of our privilege. I have no grievance about my private jet, my BMW, or even my iPad - I don't have them and can't afford them. 

And there are going to be plenty more things I can't afford now that my insurance rates have gone up. It's not because I'm trans (most insurance doesn't pay for trans-related care anyway). My insurance company is punishing me because I'm getting old.

Apparently, in health-insurance land, 55 is the magic age for major physical deterioration. I hit that milestone this year, and my rates took a major hike. And, in one of the few areas where age discrimination can still be overt and in writing, my employer, who carries my policy, was informed that my severely increased rate was strictly age related.

Today I Remember The Women of École Polytechnique

(21 years ago Marc Lépine went on a shooting spree, which today has become known as the Montreal Massacre. By the end of the day, 14 women would be murdered by his hand for the crime of being women.  This horrible massacre continues to resonate deeply with Canadian women, as we use this day to say unequivocally that violence against women must stop.  I wrote the following piece 2 years ago, and decided to re-post it today)

For women across Canada, December 6 is a day that we are reminded that despite the gains of feminism and women’s work to end gender based violence, we are still marginalized and vulnerable bodies. It is the anniversary of the Montreal Massacre. On this day we think of Geneviève Bergeron, Hélène Colgan, Nathalie Croteau, Barbara Daigneault, Anne-Marie Edward, Maud Haviernick, Maryse Laganière, Maryse Leclair, Anne-Marie Lemay, Sonia Pelletier, Michèle Richard, Annie St-Arneault, Annie Turcotte, and Barbara Klucznik-Widajewicz.

To ensure that there was no confusion as to why he felt the need to enter École Polytechnique and massacre 14 women, Marc Lépine left behind a detailed three page letter in which he blamed feminists for being “so opportunistic they neglect to profit from the knowledge accumulated by men through the ages. They always try to misrepresent them every time they can”. He considered himself to be “rational” and therefore, he felt his rage against feminists was justified. He went on to state in his suicide note, "why persevere to exist if it is only to please the government. Being rather backward-looking by nature (except for science), the feminists have always enraged me. They want to keep the advantages of women (e.g. cheaper insurance, extended maternity leave preceded by a preventative leave, etc.) while seizing for themselves those of men.” Lépine was so angry at the perceived loss of unearned male privilege, due to the advances of feminism, his letter also included a list of nineteen other women that he also wished to see dead.

After such a horrible event there were many that felt that this terrible act of violence should be looked upon as the actions of a sole mad man, who had lost the capacity to reason. While it might be comforting to look at this as a singular incident, to do so would mean ignoring the degree of violence that Canadian women live with on a daily basis.

Lépine was the product of domestic violence, having grown up in a home where he spent his early childhood with an abusive father that routinely told him that women existed to serve men. Is it any surprise that after having been indoctrinated in this way, in his formative years, that he would come to see any woman with agency as a threat to what he considered traditional gender roles?
Even knowing that the end product of such an environment for children is dangerous, in that it produces men like Lépine, socially we still exist with the idea that a clear distinction between genders is necessary to our well being. We use colloquial phrases like, boys will be boys to justify violence, or aggressive behaviour in young males, while encouraging docility and submissiveness in young girls. The discord in worth and value between men and women is systemic.

Drop It Like It's Hot

 Morning everyone, thanks for another great week of conversation.  What makes Womanist Musings great is the wonderful community that we have built together.  Please consider this your weekly reminder about the open guest posting policy.  If you have a piece that you would like to share please send it via e-mail to womanistmusings (at) gmail (dot) com.  Please include a three line bio and an image that you would like associated with your work.  Remember the more people that we contributing posts the more varied the topics of conversation will be.  As always I would like to thank the regular contributors for adding their voice to the blog.

 Below you will find a list of posts that I found interesting this week.  Please show these bloggers some love, and when you are done, don't forget to drop it like it's hot and leave you link behind in the comment section
Indian-American Hindu group stirs a debate over yoga's soul
I'm White but I'm Not a So-Called "White anti-Racist" Like Tim Wise & Co.
feminist heroine
Fighting the Black Anti Abortion Campaign: Trusting Black Women
Unpacking the Cis-Hetero Knapsack 
Not Your Mom's Trans 101
Isn't that Love?
Overcoming the Noble Savage and the Sexy Sqaw: Native Steampunk
I Had to Pray to Stop What Was Coming
Fat-Com: Is That A Thing?
Adult, LGBT and Homeless?  Few of us care
Is The Decline of Black Males in Black Churches Affecting their Abilities to Create a Counter Frame
no brown hobbits allowed
Les Sapeurs: Gentlemen of the Congo
Celebrating Our Racist History Is Racist
What Do Foreigners Think Of Sarah Palin?
Southern Plantations Weren't So "Romantic" For Blacks
If the Airport is a Police State, What is the Ghetto?4
Harry Belafonte's Love for Racial Justice - and Radical Muppets 
What I've Learned From Living With HIV
Gender Disparity in the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade
Feminism and Being a Housewife
Time to Start Profiling White Christians
And She's Cute Too
White Trash Blues: Class Privilege v. White Privilege
Let He Is Who Is Without Sin
Today's dose of casual sexism
My Breasts, My Children, My Self

  

It's Friday and The Question Is.........

Before I get into this week's question, I thought that I would remind everyone please submit a book that they are interested in discussing on a deeper level in the Womanist Musings book reading club.  The book that gets the most nominations is the one we will go with.

Okay, this week I thought we would talk about pet peeves.  What action, behavior, or sound really gets on your last nerve.  I cannot stand it when someone makes sandwich and does not wipe up the crumbs.  Is it really that hard to wipe up the crumbs?  And my second and third respectively, is being forced to listen to music repeatedly and the sound of Styrofoam being rubbed against anything.  Okay your turn.

On Treasuring Difference

Jaded16 is a Radical Feminist from India. She writes a humour blog ‘Oi With The Poodles Already’, attempting to make her world a little woman-friendly using healthy doses of irony and sarcasm to de-condition the Indian masses. It is at times like these when she loses all her sense of humour and starts looking for a rock big enough to live under.

 
This weekend I went away to another city to see an old friend and to mainly get away from a busy routine. As always, it seemed I didn't feel like I left Mumbai back at all, it seemed everywhere I went, a tiny part of the city followed me around with the same malls, coffee houses and other signs that point out Capitalisation is here to stay. I can't say I was too surprised when I heard the discussions on Difference out here too, after all they are quite commonplace in Mumbai, where being cosmopolitan is more important than being political, where we cherish Difference with a fetish. It's funny -- where funny is the new painful -- how strong the rhetoric of "let's celebrate our differences" can be heard from so many corners of our country, especially in the light of the 'Kashmir Issue' India is trying so hard to placate. I remember my geography texts having at least once chapter on 'Unity In Diversity' in any given year, where we'd learn that though we come from so many languages, born into a myriad of dialects and religions, we ultimately have to live with each other in peace and solidarity. On a Glocal platform, as Dusty People of one of the "biggest democracies in the world", Difference is a buzzword to use for us -- and in our place if you don't remember a politically convenient correct term -- where Difference becomes A Good Thing, within parentheses of course. Lately even in feminist discussions the idea of a 'politics of Love' is a recurring one, and I can say it does sound appealing at first, to love through discrepancies and asimilarity. But when we probe a little further into this uber vague concept of 'Difference', big gaping cracks show up that cannot be ignored.

“Why I Love America” By Kola Boof

Egyptian-Sudanese-American novelist and poet Kola Boof has been an agent for Sudan’s SPLA and was the National Chairwoman of the U.S. Branch of the Sudanese Sensitization Peace Project.  She has written for television and her many books include, “Flesh and the Devil,” “Long Train to the Redeeming Sin,” “Nile River Woman” and “Virgins In the Beehive.”  She blogs at Kola Boof. com

 I don’t know of any Americans who’ve ever spent most of their day bent down on the ground trying to catch mice to eat. I’ve certainly never had to do it.  But in North Korea, some five hundred thousand people live in Concentration Camps.  They are families imprisoned for nothing more than questioning the government or failing to properly worship the official “God” of that nation—President Kim Jong-Il.
 

And yes, in North Korea, it is required that the people worship their leader as a religious God.  He is also President for life and within the network of the North Korean government’s concentration camps overrun with children these families wither to bones, are worked to death and literally hunt for mice and insects to eat on the floors and grounds.  The death rate is very high.  Another three million North Korean citizens are dying or have died due to a severe famine that has crippled that nation because of their God-Dictator leader and his refusal to spend foreign aid on the citizens.  Another three hundred thousand North Koreans have committed the nation’s second highest crime—they have escaped across the border to China; a crime punishable by death.  And to my shock, the Chinese government captures most of these “illegal aliens” and refuses them “political asylum” knowing full well that by returning them to Korea—they are handing them over to be executed.  These runaways are often whole families or women and children.  Without a second thought, they murder thousands of innocent children each year in North Korea simply because their parent tried to escape the horrible conditions of the country.

These hellish realities exist in many countries, including my own birth country, Sudan, where we have genocide, slavery and unbelievable religious and sexual persecution.  In the Congo, Somalia, Mauritania…government sponsored evil and corruption never ends.  And it’s for these reasons that I often feel “guilty” when American citizens and fellow political activists sit around talking about the evils that America commits.

A Random Act Of Culture

A Choir surprises a food court



It moved me to tears and I hope it brightened your day

Unpacking the Cis-Hetero Knapsack

 I'm a 23 year old Sinhalese woman in Minnesota by way of Dubai by way of Sri Lanka. I am a Womanist, and part of my womanism is figuring out how to be in solidarity with my transnational sisters worldwide. I'm a daughter, a sister, a partner and a writer. I'm a brown girl who knows Shakespeare by heart and devours anything Toni Morrison. I believe in radical, revolutionary living and loving.  I blog at Irresistible Revolution.

**this post is dedicated to my friends S.B, S.R, J.B, and M.B who daily inspire me with their courage, humor, warmth and allyhood. And to my brave, brave little brother, D**

Recently, the boyfriend and I were discussing white privilege and family dynamics in multiracial families. Our discussion culminated with us both reading over Peggy McIntosh's article on unpacking the knapsack of white privilege. At the end of her list, she talks about how writing down her privileges, enumerating them systematically, made them unavoidably, viscerally real to her. And so I started thinking, what privileges do I walk around with, encoded in my body, that are invisible to me? What follows is a result of this rumination. I decided to unpack my knapsack of cis/hetero privilege, and do it in a public forum so I can remind myself to always be accountable to the words I'm publicly attesting to. The list was intended primarily to enumerate my cis privilege, but of course it's almost impossible for me to separate my cis identity from my heterosexuality. So here goes:

1) I can openly, freely declare my identity as a woman and not be questioned/ harassed/ laughed at/ threatened

2) I can choose sexual partners in the assurance that they are comfortable with how my genitalia "corresponds" to their expectations of my gender presentation

3) I don't ever have to think about the life-threatening consequences of disrupting the expectation listed above

4) If I wanted breast augmentation/ reduction, lyposuction, botox, vagina-lift, or laser hair removal, I will not have to go through mandatory evaluative therapy beforehand

6) Most of the procedures for enhancing femme, cisgender identity (like those listed above) are fairly affordable and widely provided by physicians

5) My form of gender identity is not listed as a disorder on the DSM of the American Psychological Association

6) I can indulge my particular aesthetic need for feminine apparel 24/7, 365 days of he year, in any social or private setting

7)I can have my pick of gynecologists without worrying about their reaction to my genitalia

8) I can go to most hospitals/ doctors reasonably assured that my genitalia won't count against me

Can creative love truly replace romantic love?

Nia is a regular reader and commenter at Womanist Musings.

By creative love I mean the genuine love, inner fulfillment and deep contentment that one can achieve through traditional creative endeavors or professions , whatever they may be (e.g. art, music, writing, acting, architectural design, etc.). These are just a few of the examples that come to my mind, but creativity is NOT limited by any means to those fields.)
 
Can an all-consuming creative love be just as great as that other great love that we are told from young we should all aspire to achieve – romantic love in the form of bonding with a life partner?
 
I believe that creativity is something one can learn or acquire, even in later life. I don’t believe that some people are born more creative or talented than others.  You hear this a lot, but it is not true. More often than not, it just happens that these particular people were either encouraged, or they stumbled upon or were always around a particular creative field from a very young age, so it just appears that they were always talented or creative. 
 
Growing up I always envied and admired those in my age group who just seemed naturally gifted at playing a musical instrument, or were good at dancing, painting, etc. I was never good at any of those things and just assumed I was not meant to be a creative person.
 
So perhaps it is because I found my creativity relatively late in life, but pursuing creative endeavors gives me an inner joy and happiness that I have never experienced before. Nothing makes me feel happier and more at peace than when I pursue a creative project. I spent a long time trying various things (lingerie-design, creative writing, cake decorating, photography, gourmet cooking,) but always gave them up quickly because they didn’t fulfill me and sometimes would even frustrate me.
 
But for a while now I have been fully immersed in a small side business making perfumes and toiletries with natural plant materials, and also helping on the creative side of a family member’s children’s book publishing business.  I still have a normal day job to pay the bills, but these two projects have allowed me to find my creative side, and have opened up a world of possibilities I never thought imaginable.

Trans Hate Speech in Blog Land

To me the creating a blog is empowering.  Blogging has the ability to give voice to those who have traditionally been silenced in the mainstream. A blog can cover any topic that you can imagine; it only requires dedication on the part of an owner to blossom and grow. When I first started WM 2 1/2 years ago, I had no idea that it would grow to become a wonderful community. On occasion, as a community we have to deal with a troll invasion, but we have successfully fought back to ensure that this remains a safe space for marginalized people.

Anyone can be a blogger and it is this fact that makes people often seek to delegitimize the work that is done on the internet.  There is so much good work being done in the sphere of social justice. Simply reading blogs and comment sections has been a huge source of education for me.  There are those however, that use this wonderful new medium to spread hate, and it is these blogs that I wish to talk about today.

On several occasions I have called out various blogs for repeated posts that in some way harm marginalized people.  I believe the two I speak most regularly about are Bossip and Sandra Rose.  As a WOC, it disgusts and shames me to know that these blogs, while claiming to be simple gossip blogs, use whatever privilege they have to demean others on a regular basis.  Just recently, Rose wrote a post about a trans man who is playing professional basketball, that can be described as nothing less than cisprivilege gone rampant.  I didn't write about it at the time, because quite honestly, I didn't want the stress of yet another blog war. Though stress greatly impacts my fibromyalgia, I am well aware that it is a reflection of my cis privilege that I was able to walk away, while bloggers like Monica of TransGriot took her to task.  At the time, I discussed the issue with friends, searching for some solution to deal with the constant transphobia that I read every day.  I thought about writing GLAAD, but then was told that they really don't handle blogs.  I let the issue rumble in the back of my head until I received a message from transgender yahoo group that I belong to, detailing yet another blogger attacking the trans community. It seems that his major complaint is that the LPGA has changed its rules, to allow trans women to play:

Swastika's and A KKK Snowman

I know that incidents of overt racism always make you so-called liberal race allies feel good about yourself, but every once and a while it is necessary to give them attention, if only to make the point that there is nothing post racial about the world we live in.

No, your eyes did not deceive you, that is a KKK snowman.   It was built by a White supremacist with a history of racist behaviour.  Apparently, nothing can be done about this sculpture, though it basically represents a threat to people of colour.  The sole purpose of the KKK, is to maintain White supremacy and they have proven repeatedly, that they are more than willing to committ violence.  They constitute a terrorist organization, but unfortunately since it is a group of White terrorists, there is no big push to talk about the threat that they pose.  Silly me, terrorist are Brown and wear Muslim garb, they certainly cannot be God fearing White folk - or at least that is what the media keeps telling us.

It seems the big concern is that his sculpture was holding a noose.  Hey, what's the harm in a KKK snowman in a White supremacist state right?  The fact that it is located very near a school and that children will walk by it everyday is a bonus.  At least they will all learn from a very early age that Whiteness has its privileges.  And you thought that history isn't relevant today.  All those years learning to praise a rapist president, have helped Whiteness to appreciate the necessity of getting White children to believe in their superiority at a young age.

There are times when psychological intimidation just won't cut it.  How are people of colour truly to live in fear of Whiteness ( I know that Whiteness spreads the lie that people of colour commit the majority of crimes, but bear with me), if the good ole boys don't follow through with their threats.  It's the little things like dragging us behind cars, false rape accusations, occasional physical assaults and murder by the police that really keep us in line.  We already know that there are two justice systems when it comes to asserting ones rights, so why would White men be terrified to break the law?

Should Children Wear the Hijab?

WoodTurtle is a Canadian Muslim feminist currently using her extended maternity leave to explore developments of Islamic feminism in the Western and Muslim world.  As a woman who wears the hijab (owns several abayas and a niqab monogrammed with her initials in pink, sparkly sequins), she writes frequently on genderized Islamophobia. She also works toward dispelling myths and stereotypes about women in Islam for both Muslims and non.

Eryn has decided to wear the hijab.

She's at a lovely precocious stage of mimicry where she will throw diapers into the dustbin and wave 'bye-bye' to my makeup as she flushes it down the toilet. She cleans the floors and the windows with the kitchen towel. She brushes her hair with her toothbrush, puts her shoes on backwards, knows how to access YouTube and dusts her grandfather's foot powder on everyone's feet.

When I grab my shawl and prepare for one of the daily prayers, she crawls to the prayer area and starts moving her hands to her ears in takbir. She'll then cup her hands in front of her face in supplication and place her forehead to the ground in prostration. When I've finished praying, she'll sway from side to side as I chant Arabic recitations. Then she'll "ask" for her hijab.

In one of her many sensory discovery boxes, I have scarves of different colours and textures -- so I'll let her pick one out. Once I've wrapped it around her head, she'll look appreciatively at herself in the mirror, kiss her reflection and promptly take it off.

The first time she did this, I beamed and praised her. The second time was just as cute as the first. I really didn't think anything of it, except that her cherubic cheeks looked so darn cute poking out from the scarf's cowl. The third time we were praying with the Hubby, and before the prayer began he handed the scarf to her and said, "Here sweetie, put on your hijab." I stopped cold and about a hundred red flags went up in my mind.

Happy Hanukkah

 

I just learned that today is the first day of Hanukkah and I would like to take this time to wish all of the Jewish readers a wonderful holiday.  

Little Boys Like To Pretend To Cook

November 18th, was my little Mayhem's fifth birthday.  I am pleased to report that he got exactly what he wanted for presents: new karate gloves and toy cookware.  Mayhem, much like his older brother, has always been fascinated with cooking. He is always quick to offer his help, and has quite the picky discerning palate. Below you will find a picture of Mayhem's current prep area.

This past weekend he wrote his Christmas list and right at the top of the list was a new kitchen to go with his pots and pans, followed by more toy food and a microwave. That's right, my boy wants an operating kitchen so that he can make as many fancy meals as his imagination will allow.  So far I have been served countless cups of tea, along with eggs and french toast.  In his mind, this collection of toys is the restaurant that he plans to own when he grows up.

The unhusband and I have begun to think about our Xmas shopping and high on the list is a kitchen for our little jr chef.  The first store that I checked was Toy R Us.  Considering that the ability to cook is a necessary skill to be able to survive unless one wants to eat at a restaurant for every meal is it really wise to place toy kitchens in the girls section.  Oh, I get it, cooking is domestic duty when it is done for subsistence so of course it falls under the category of girls toy.

Alicia Keys, Your Digital Life Sacrifice on World AIDS Day is a Bad Publicity Stunt

Allison McCarthy is a freelance writer

Alicia Keys sacrificed her digital life to help save millions of real lives affected by HIV/AIDS in Africa and India. That means no more Facebook or Twitter updates from her until $1,000,000 is raised to buy her life back.

Keep a Child Alive (KCA), co-founded by Leslie Blake and Alicia Keys, aims to provide "first class AIDS care through doctors, nutrition, testing, transportation, and treatment for opportunistic infections, which are all necessary for anti-retroviral treatment to be successful. KCA also provides the care and support to keep orphaned and abandoned children safe."  On Monday, the Digital Life Sacrifice campaign, initiated by Alicia Keys and supported by celebrities such as Lady Gaga, Justin Timberlake, and Usher, among others, plans to bring awareness to World Aids Day by having celebrities signing off all Twitter and Facebook feeds until $1 million has been raised for KCA.  This is a seemingly noble and altruistic effort; however, the celebrities plan to feature "'last tweet and testament' videos and will appear in ads showing them lying in coffins to represent what the campaign calls their digital deaths." 

Dr. Laura Schlessinger Returns

Dr. Laura is the type of person whom I wish would find a little a glorious black hole and simply disappear. She has a history of homophobia as well as racism.  Dr. Laura recently quit her syndicated talk show after protest arose when she used the N word 11 times during a call in which and African American woman was complaining about the racism displayed by her White husband and his friends.  Why this woman chose Schlessinger of all people to reach out to is beyond me.

I must admit that I was absolutely thrilled when she reported that she leaving her show because she felt that her free speech rights were being impinged upon by listeners who had the nerve to call the station and her advertisers to complain.  In an interview with Larry King Schlessinger had this to say:

Yes, but I don't have the right to say what I need to say. My first amendment rights have usurped by angry hateful groups who don't want to debate they want to eliminate.  So that's why I decided that it was time to move on to other venues, where I could say my peace and not have to worry that sponsors and families are going to be upset, radio stations are going to be upset, my peeps as I call them are going to be upset.

 At the time I wrote that Schlessinger is not interested in free speech.  What Dr. Laura truly desires is the ability to spread her hate speech without having to care about it effects others.  No one interrupted her show during her hateful tirade to tell her about the damage that happens to Black people every time the word nigger is uttered by a White person, on the contrary she was allowed to go on a racist tirade with the only intervention coming from the Black woman she was assaulting.

When Dr. Laura announced the end of her show I was happy. This after all meant that one less hate filled bigot on the air, it seems however that my celebration was premature.  Dr. Laura is returning to the air on Sirius XM Satellite Radio.

Being "Colorblind" is not the answer

I am a 36 year old disabled woman who has been variously labeled "fat", "crazy", and "a hippie weirdo." I now try to embrace labels that others use in an attempt to "shame" me into being someone more "acceptable". I am passionate about issues of race/racism, criminal (in)justice, fat acceptance, and mental health advocacy. I blog at My Name Is JuJuBe and I am on the team at The Intersection of Madness and Reality 


I have come to the realization that we all have certain prejudices impressed upon us by this white supremacist society. I strive every day to dismantle racism, but I have to admit that I bring to the table certain ideas of how a person will act based upon the ethnic community to which they belong. I think the important thing is to REALIZE that these impressions ARE NOT REALITY, but are rather images enforced by a society controlled by white supremacy. I cannot help having certain thoughts, however, I can control what I do with those thoughts.

When I find myself thinking something that is prejudicial, whether negative or positive, I stop to question myself as to WHY I am having such thoughts. I stop and remind myself that each human being is an individual, and while members of different ethnic groups may have certain customs, those customs are not better or worse than customs of other ethnic groups. Those customs do not define every member of the group, nor do they define the group as a whole. Sometimes I think that I am everything I fight against because I have these impressions occasionally, but I realize that to HAVE these thoughts is not necessarily harmful, but to NOT DO ANYTHING TO CHANGE THEM is. If I have certain ideas about a person based upon their ethnicity, I force myself to re-examine WHY my thoughts have gone in that direction, and think of ways that I can counter the thought process.