I want a real vagina there so freakin bad.
I’ll but it tampax and some maxi pads.( I’ll take good care of it I promise)
It’ll come with a hymen all new and pristine but I’ll bust that cherry like a slutty queen
(with a big ole dick)
Oh every time I close my eyes, my balls they fall out of the side.
(of my panties)
So turn my dick into a slip and slide
I swear had better prepare for when I’m a lady there.
Yeah, I would have the whole shebang done though surgery is not so fun. Put it on your wish list to give my gash a little kiss.
I’ll probably pull a little Brittany and flash it, show the world I paid the coins for the front slit
I want to see if it makes when I go piss, its called a pussy maybe cause it sounds like a cat hiss.
It’ll be a couple months since my ditch was dug, made a hole from a pole, now all I need is jugs.
I’ll probably get ’em real tasteful right, I’m just kidding they’ll be huge.
You won’t forget about me stupid even when I’m old I’m gonna have a big hoopa.
oh and every time I close my eyes (whatca see whatca see?)
I dream my dick will fall off and die
And then I get a clit so supersize you said.
The world better prepare for when I’m a lady there
oh oh oh oh oh oh when I’m a lady there
oh oh oh oh
I’ll be buying of the panties at Fredericks, Lou Vitton for the kicks
Then I’ll ask Victoria just what the hell her secret is.
Toss a couple up inside just for the heck of it
But keep the thumbs out don’t be making I’m a fisting chick.
I’ll probably let you take a crack it love you long time, now apocalypse attack it
I’ll take some pictures for my Christmas card, sit on Santas lap get that AARP dick hard
Oh and it nobody around me would think that I’m a boy, no one trying to clown me
It’s just a vaginal seem but give me five’s give me ten’s cause it’s my dream
I want a real vagina there so freaking bad.
I’ll but it tampax and some maxi pads (I’ll put sunscreen on it too)
It will come with a hymen all new and pristine but I’ll bust that cherry like a slutty queen (nice and whory)
Oh every time I close my eyes my balls they fall out of the side.
So turn my dick into a slip and slide
I swear the world had better prepare for when I’m a lady there.
Oh oh oh oh for when I’m a lady there.
oh oh oh oh yeah
It’ll smell like clam chowder there, so freakin bad.
As a cis woman I had a lot of difficulty with this song. I didn’t like the idea that women who have sex are slutty queens or that a pristine vagina involves having a hymen. I wonder if William rises that some women are born without hymens and even those who have them are more than capable of having them broken by a little thing like a bike ride? William makes a point of slut shaming by using the word whore to describe women having sex.
I am further particularly disgusted with the idea that a vagina smells like clam chowder. I mean really why go there. How long do women have to be shamed for the way that we smell. This line is absolutely sexist and unnecessary. Fear about the natural odor of female genitalia is what harmful douches pray upon. A vagina is not supposed to smell like a rose garden because it is not a rose garden and that in no way means that it smells like fish or any other item of food.
Finally, the love you long time line is racist. The love you long time has been attributed to Asian women. Even though in some cases William may be marginalized there is no need to take what privilege he has to oppress others. Racism, no matter what form it appears is ever funny or amusing. I am sick of comedians slipping lines like this into their routines and believing that it is not harmful. If perhaps they had to pay the price for that which they so easily minimize they would understand the damage of normalizing racism.
As for William’s commentary about wanting a vagina I really have no commentary. I know that he identifies as male and is a drag queen, but I really don’t have the experience or the right quite frankly to comment on that issue.
The comments on this song on youtube are highly transphobic. Perez Hilton refers to the video as “trannylicious Amazingness.” Honestly, I am just not sure what to think of this video and so I thought I would turn it over to you to break down. What are your thoughts? Do you find the song sexist in anyway? Do you see it as transphobic because William is a drag queen rather than a trans woman? Do you find this to be a positive commentary on gender? Let it fly in the comment section.