Monday, June 27, 2011

Happily Divorced - What did I just WATCH?!

An early treat from Sparky of Spark in Darkness

So, I was pointed towards this... this... this... I have no words. Hot Mess hardly even covers it.

I was literally 10 seconds in and loathed it. Yes, within the first 10 seconds I hated it - that's almost a new record. The opening credits hadn't even started and the stereotyping was already in!

Actually, before I start on the negative, I'm going to try and focus on the positive as I try with any of my quasi-reviews. So here it is, the single positive - this show gave me a moment of pure glee. Because I thought that I'd somehow been teleported back to the early 90s. Y'know, back to a time when having a grossly stereotyped gay character was still a sufficient "novelty" that you could base an entire painful sitcom on the fact. It brought me glee, not because I liked the 90s or suffered some painful form of nostagia (I hate nostalgia), but because it would clearly mean I'm actually in a room in the Tardis, and David Tennant is waiting for me in the next room.

Alas, it wasn't so. And I looked, believe me (I live in hope). Sadly, it was still 2011 and this throwback has actually been produced this year. No, really. I checked. I couldn't believe it either.

I cringed from start to finish. It seems the whole point of this show and it's "humour" is just to trot out horrendous stereotype after horrendous stereotype and then have someone declare it "so gay" to the background of more the most annoyingly fake canned laughter I have ever heard (which I suppose is essential because how else would you know that each gross trope was supposed to be funny).



So gay - because he wanted a sorbet at their wedding.

So gay - because he spoke of the merits of sorbet as a pallet cleanser.

So gay - he had beautiful cuticles

So gay - Venetian fountain with the 2 cherubs (we know it's funny because of the canned laughter)

So gay - he watches Glee

So gay - he wanted to move to West Hollywood.

So gay - the YMCA...

So gay - no, I'm not even going to bother to list any more. The whole show rests on this crap I'd be here all night.

No, wait. SOUND OF MUSIC SINGALONG?!

There, I'm done listing them.

I hate sorbet. It's ice cream that crunches, what's up with that? My nails look like they've been savaged by wolverines, I own nothing with cherubs and I loathe the Sound of Music. Seriously, my mother had a thing for the Sound of Music and the Beatles. To this day the opening bars of "The Hills are alive" make me want to hunt down nuns. My own personal hell would be stuck in a room with the Beatles playing the Sound of Music soundtrack. 

Damn, I conform to none of these stereotypes. I don't even have that ridiculous hat. I guess I'm really straight. My husband will be devastated.

And I love how a gay man coming out is a thing of so much comedy. And I love how the whole event becomes about her. Everything about this major event in his life is about her. And I love the lines "how do you know you've never even been with a man." "It could be a midlife crisis." Well shit, who knew spontaneous homosexuality happens because of a middle aged boredom and lack of direction?! I love how this whole dramatic thing has been pummeled for cheap laughs.

And by love, of course, I mean "I want to kill it with rabid armadillos"

And the canned laughter? Seriously? It's the 21st century! And I love how the laugh track is there to tell us we're supposed to find funny - "I think I'm gay" *canned laughter* Of course it's needed - because how is this even slightly funny? Seriously, if it weren't for the canned laughter I wouldn't even know where I was supposed to laugh. I swear, I'm getting a pavlovian response of extreme violence towards laughter from this thing. There's a line *laugh track* one word response *laugh track* a freaking SHRUG *laugh track* Even if it weren't a hot mess from start to finish, the laugh track alone would be enough to make me hate it In fact the whole 90s kitsch. She addresses half of her comments to the CAMERA and not the person sharing the scene with her.

Even if it weren't so grossly offensive, it'd still be a Hot Mess. With the stereotyping and the fact the whole damn sitcom is based on the "gimmick" of a gay man - yeah,  Hot mess hardly even covers this trainwreck. Come back Will & Grace, all is forgiven. Damn it Dreschler, see what you've done? You've made me PREFER Will & Grace for crying out loud!