Thursday, August 25, 2011

Man Uses Semi to Break Into a Sex Store to Steal Toy Vagina

Okay, this should be filed under shit you just cannot make up.

Voice Over: It was a saucy smash and grab.  A man uses a semi to break into an adult store, now the cops on the hunt for a creep, with a dangerous sex drive.
Male Reporter: A criminal with  a major sex drive, robbed a local sex store.
Female Reporter: Yeah, the whole thing caught on tape and he made off with one pricey toy. Our Harry Boomer has the news on this absurd crime.
Harry Boomer: Well Denise, the store says they won't release the video, say they don't want to encourage copycats, but there's plenty of evidence of how badly the highly sexed man wanted to satisfy his fantasies.
Voice Over: A sexual deviant is responsible for knocking in these double door at this Adult Mart on Cooperfoster Rd in Lorraine county. He wasn't screwing around either, once he drove the big rig into the doors, he headed straight for an eight hundred dollar sex toy. Now how should I describe this?  It was a life like size masterbator, complete with female genitalia, with legs and buttocks. It was similar to this mannequin, but much more sexually explicit. He had to have dropped the anatomically correct sex toy off someplace, because police found the semi and the man still in it, about a quarter mile from where he stole it. When police showed up, the sex toy was not in the cab. The man jumped down from the truck, and ran down some nearby tracks; he got away. The Lorraine country sheriff's department says, "the pervert stole this red truck from the J.T. container company on  Woolford ave and Aleria around 2am monday. He smashed right through a couple of gates on his way out. He knocked this one off its hinges and plowed right through the other one. It will cost about twenty-six hundred dollars to repair them. The truck was damaged, including the mirror almost getting knocked off.

Now this is not the first time this store has been hit up for a sex toys.  Back in september 2009, a man drove a car into the store. He picked up a similar sex toy costing about three hundred bucks, but he put it down and made off with one costing a hundred fifty bucks.
Harry Boomer: Police don't think that the burglaries are related but someone had to have heard this truck rumbling the neighbourhood at like 2 o'clock in the morning, maybe somebody even saw it.  Drop a dime on this bull, call the police and report this freak.

Okay, so I laughed by ass off when I first watched the video.  That man really wanted his sex toy.  I know that inquiring minds are racing, wondering what the sex toy was.  Wait not longer, but beware -- this link is not safe for work. (language describing the product is graphic and a touch anti-woman)

As I was doing the transcript, the shaming language used by the reporters really struck a chord with me.  There is no justifying the theft, especially for something like a sex toy, but he certainly is not a freak, or a pervert for wanting a masturbation aid.  The treatment of this story really comes down to sexual shaming and was completely uncalled for.

Masturbating is the safest sex that one can have, and is also the best way to get in touch with one's body. In fact, from their response to this story, it's clear that the people at Action News 19, could stand to masturbate a little themselves.  Masturbation is a natural healthy act, but the puritanical attitude toward sex is pervasive with conservatives.  They spend so much time preaching abstinence, that they never bother to promote masturbation (no wonder they're so crabby, an orgasm free life must suck).  The very fact that these people haven't learned that shaming someone and calling them a sexual deviants for seeking to satisfy their sexual urges, in a way that does no damage to others, tells me that for them, this is all about repressing people.  For all we know, the man may have been too ashamed to walk into the store and purchase the item himself due to this kind of shaming.

It would have been a simple matter to report this story as just a simple theft but I suppose when the opportunity occurred for a little sex shaming the temptation was too much for them to resist.