Thursday, December 1, 2011

Enter to Win Rise of the Governor by Robert Kirkman and Jay Bonansinga

Hello everyone, it's giveaway time again.  As you know, the fangs crew are huge fans of the comics and show The Walking Dead.  Unfortunately, The Walking Dead is on hiatus until February.  If you're like us, you're already dreading the long wait.  This is why we thought this month we would offer one lucky a winner a chance to win:

 Rise of the Governor is the back story of the governor, the most hated character in The Walking Dead universe.  This is a must read for any real fan.  You can find our review of the book here.

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Hijab: As Seen On TV

WoodTurtle is a Canadian Muslim feminist currently using her extended maternity leave to explore developments of Islamic feminism in the Western and Muslim world.  As a woman who wears the hijab (owns several abayas and a niqab monogrammed with her initials in pink, sparkly sequins), she writes frequently on genderized Islamophobia. She also works toward dispelling myths and stereotypes about women in Islam for both Muslims and non.  

Introducing the Hijab 5000! Your life will be transformed within seconds of putting it on! Not only will it protect you from the untoward gaze of lustful and sexually uncontrollable men, but you'll sure turn heads when everyone hears of your hijab's scientific miracles. With just one application, the hijab will deep condition and protect your gorgeous locks from pollution; keep you warm by helping you retain 40-60% of your body heat; protect you from the sun's harmful rays; promote healthy hygiene – no more stray hairs in your salad; boost your self-esteem; pave the way for marriage proposals; grant you protection from the evil-eye and cure your infertility!

I love it when the media sensationalises the hijab – othering, exotifying and generalising a personal religious symbol. But Muslims sensationalise the hijab too. While a few of the above "facts" are actually true, they’re often used to market the hijab beyond reasons of modesty, religious adherence or identity with Islam.

Hijab influencing one’s fertility is something I recently heard on TLC’s All-American Muslim. Now, I know the show is reality TV – the aim is to sensationalise and pick up on minuscule but shocking sound-bites just to blow them out of proportion. So I wasn’t that surprised when looking through their online clips I found one called, “Hijab’s Influence on Infertility.”

Though after watching the clips, reading reviews, and speaking to fans of the show, I would have simply called it: “Women wear or don’t wear the hijab for a million different reasons.”

(But wood turtle, it's just a title – lighten up! I know, I know. But it reminded me of all the little, ubiquitous ways the media continues to perpetrate misunderstandings about hijab. So I'm going to take this opportunity to complain.)

So in last week’s episode, Samira Amen-Fawaz decided to put on the hijab. She wore hijab pre-9/11 but took it off believing that people saw the hijab as something “scary.”

One of her many reasons for putting it back on includes her desire to become closer to God, in the hopes that by doing so, she’ll have the support to get through this trying time of infertility while she and her husband attempt to produce a child. Now, she doesn’t overtly say, “wearing hijab will help me get pregnant” but simply explains in a twelve second sound bite, that her infertility struggles are a sign from God saying, “when are you going to wake up and listen to me?”

Naturally, this is the point reality TV wants to exploit.

Samira spends the rest of the episode experimenting with a funky, not-at-all-scary pink and orange florescent hijab; receiving compliments from her family when they see her in hijab; saying she wants her hijab to be friendly; claiming that she can still swim whenever she wants to and that she feels “God will protect her” from any negative attitudes.

Happy Hair and Shampoo Commercials

Gee, Some of you are thinking "now she is picking on shampoo commercials.  Is there anything that's okay?"  Well the answer to that is no, there's nothing that exists outside of discourse.  I was watching television this morning, when the following commercial aired.

This is not a new commercial, but every time I see it, it pisses me the hell off, because it is just one in a series that celebrates long straight hair to the exclusion of kinky Black hair. The most popular of this theme are the Fructis commercials.

Thoughts on Recent Sex Worker Suicides

Eva Rivera is a proud lesbian Chicana, daughter, sister and sex worker who can walk in 6 inch heels and twirl naked on a pole in front of total strangers but is still viciously afraid of moths. She hails from Fresno, CA and is a poet and aspiring film maker. You can find her more personal writing on her blog.

I was gone for a few weeks adjusting to a new city so I missed some opportunities to write about issues that are important in my life. Dia de los Muertos passed and I barely had time to make my ofrenda for my Tio who passed away recently. It turned out beautifully and I'm sure he was happy to see it. I also started a part time job as a phone sex operator--one of the lower paying jobs in the industry but also very versatile and considered one of the safest. I'll be sure to post my experiences with that soon. One peice of news that I read while away kept creeping back up my mind no matter how I tried to shut it out and It's what I am going to be discussing in this post. It was news that was very painful for me to process as I have struggled with mental health issues for a long time. Being a sex worker, it also hit very close to home. I don't think this peice of news went too mainstream but it carries a lot of weight and potential for analysizing some pretty glaring social fails.

On November 1, two women who were both sex workers killed themselves with poisonious gas in a suicide pact. The women met online and found that they both had a lot in common including that they both had recently been stalked. Both had reported the stalking to local police. Both felt that the police did not address the situation which they wrote about in notes they left behind. They also suffered from mental health issues and it appears that they actually met on suicide information website.

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Why The PO PO Is No Friend to the Black Child

'APD car hdr' photo (c) 2009, Jim Legans, Jr - license:
I have written previously about why I disagree with schools teaching kids about officer friendly. To be clear, cops have a long history of targeting people of colour for arrests, violence and death.  What they may be willing to let go from a White man, woman, or child, they certainly do not give a pass to when it comes to people of colour.  If a person is negotiating a second site of oppression, like disability or sexuality, it can cause a marked increase in abusive behaviour.

Children of colour have to be actively taught how to appear in a non threatening manner with police because it might well save their lives. Yep, announcing what you are doing clearly and loudly.  Never ever touch your body unless directed to. Keep you hands on the wheel and visible at all times at a traffic stop.  Be exceedingly polite calling the cop, officer or sir. Never raise your voice or be anything but compliant. Never hesitate for even the briefest of moments to follow a direct order.  Etc and Etc.

This all must occur because the police are no friend to Black people, as one young boy found out the hard way.
Gray says the school, Rio Calaveras Elementary of Stockton, wanted to change that behavior by having Michael meet with a school police officer.

"He could come out and talk to Michael and the kids are normally scared straight," said Gray, describing how she says the school district proposed the meeting.

But the meeting didn't go as planned.

Gray says Michael was agitated when the officer entered the room, and the whole meeting ended with Michael arrested and cuffed, with zip ties on his hands and his feet.

"I was led to believe that Michael saw a police officer and attacked a police officer on sight," said Gray, adding that that's not what happened.

She knows because she ultimately obtained a copy of the police report.

In it, the officer, Lt. Frank Gordo, says he placed his hand on Michael's and, "the boy pushed my hand away in a batting motion, pushed papers off the table, and kicked me in the right knee."

When Michael wouldn't calm down, Gordo cuffed Michael's hands and feet with zip ties and took the boy to the Stockton Kaiser Psychiatric Hospital in the back of a squad car.

He had not called Michael's mother or father at that point.

Michael was cited for battery on a police officer. (source)

Best PSA Ever: Don't Say Gay

The following video is the result of a school project.  I think it proves that if we don't teach kids to hate, they can produce amazing things, and work towards making our world better.

Well done boys. I can see that you have a great future ahead of you.

Cleveland Heights Child Placed in Foster Care for Being Too Fat

'Obesity in children' photo (c) 2006, Joe 13 - license:

It was only a matter of time until the fat hatred that has come to be socially normalized resulted in the removal of a child from his home.  Once again, we can see the argument of what about the children being deployed to actually hurt and damage a child rather than to protect him or her.

An 8-year-old Cleveland Heights boy was taken from his family and placed in foster care last month after county case workers said his mother wasn't doing enough to control his weight.
At more than 200 pounds, the third-grader is considered severely obese and at risk for developing such diseases as diabetes and hypertension.

But even though the state health department estimates more than 12 percent of third-graders statewide are severely obese -- that could mean 1,380 in Cuyahoga County alone -- this is the first time anyone in the county or the state can recall a child being taken from a parent for a strictly weight-related issue.

The case plays into an emerging national debate that has some urging social-service agencies to step in when parents have failed to address a weight problem. (source)
Essentially, the state has decided that being fat is far more harmful than separating this eight year old honour student from the only family he has ever known.  According to his teachers, the child is will adjusted and participates in school activities, yet he was removed in the belief that his weight could potentially represent future health problems.

I don't believe that this is about worry for the health of the child. I believe it has more to do with stigmatizing fat and asserting that fat is naturally a danger is what is behind the removal of this child.  It is interesting to note that children are abused on a daily basis and yet they remain in the custody of their abusers.  These children who desperately need our help are allowed to slip through the cracks but a fat child who is well adjusted and whose mother is actively attempting to change his eating and exercise habits is seen as existing in immediate danger.

Hate Group Prays for George Michael's Death

On November 21st, George Michael was forced to cancel is tour due to pneumonia. He is currently hospitalized in Vienna.  The morning of his hospitalization, I received notification from several of my friends, because I have been a fan of his since I was 10 years old. I often refer to him as my George. When I am feeling down, I listen to his music to give me an uplift, and when I want to celebrate I listen to his music.  In many ways, it is fair to say that George Michael has provided the soundtrack to my life. Left to my own devices its not uncommon for me to play the video of his 25 live tour as I work away and sing off key to my hearts content.  In short, I suppose you could say that when it comes to this man I am a fan poodle.

Today I was sent an email regarding a hate group that is wishing death on him.

GodsWordIsLaw is a new hate group to me.  In many ways because George is blessed with great class privilege the degree to which he experiences homophobia is certainly mitigated but as this series of tweets proves, there is no shelter that can stop someone from outright hatred. 

There are not words strong enough to condemn what this group has said.  George, like every other person walking the planet has issues, but he certainly has never done anything to merit this kind of response.  All that he has done is be true enough to himself to love publicly, and provided us with good music that is absolutely timeless, yet all this hate group can see before them is a gay man.  Despite the fact that bigots continually claim that GLBT people are to sensitive when it comes to homophobia, I fail to see how anyone straight or gay could read these tweets and not be absolutely horrified by them.  This group is literally wishing death on someone. You don't wish death on people that you see as human.

I am trying very hard at this point to be coherent, but I suspect that I am failing.  I have not the words to express my absolute disgust.  Even if this group only has one follower, this tweet must be condemned. We already know that there is an ongoing genocide in which GLBT people are the victims, that is currently unrecognized socially and so remaining silent when someone is actively calling for the death a gay man, would be to condone genocide. To readers of this blog, this probably seems like a natural idea but as the tweets above show, there are some who are so enamored of their privilege, that all they have in their hearts is hatred.

Reading these tweets once again reminded me of the distinction between hate speech and free speech.  Speech like this is not consequence free, it exists only to target a member of a historically oppressed group for the purpose of eradicating their humanity.  I believe that socially we should all be able to agree that calling for the death of someone based on their identity is beyond the pale.   When marginalized people complain about speech they are often told that they are being too sensitive, as T. I did this week; however, it is important to note that while this example is extreme, it is the everyday acts of "othering" that lead to groups feeling that they have the moral right to call for the death of someone.

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Focus on the Family Offers Seminars to Teach that Gay People Aren't Like Blacks

As a Christian woman, Focus on the Family is an organization that I deeply wish would fall off the face of the planet.  Nothing that they do supports family or exemplifies Christian values as far as I am concerned.  In their latest attempt to create yet another generation of bigots, they are offering eight week leadership classes at a cost of almost 10, 000 dollars

To ensure that parents are aware of the hate mongering their children will be taught, they will have to sign a policy statement which includes the following.
Since the heart of God’s plan for the family is the marriage of a man and a woman for life, and since families are the basic building blocks of society, then it follows that societies will only be as strong as the relationships between men and women. Heterosexuality is fundamental to the vitality and even the existence of any society. Scripture is very clear in its condemnation of homosexual conduct, for such sin is a deviation from God’s creation and design. But Focus on the Family is quick to add that God loves the homosexual as much as any other person. Focus on the Family calls all Christians to sincerely love and understand those involved in the homosexual life, remembering that Jesus demonstrated far greater compassion for people caught up in sexual immorality than for religious hypocrites. Meanwhile, homosexuals are entitled to the same basic rights as other citizens. Focus on the Family stands against any movement to rob them of those rights, persecute them, deprive them of employment or housing, or harass them in any way. Nevertheless, Focus does take strong exception to the activist movement that seeks to gain special privileges and protected minority status for the homosexual community. There is no evidence that homosexuals, as a class, are discriminated against in the present society. They are not like African-Americans, Hispanics or other historically disadvantaged groups, for they have a far higher average income than most Americans, a higher level of education than most Americans and significant political influence. Focus on the Family also opposes the efforts of radical homosexual “social reformers” who wish to redefine the family, permit homosexual “marriages,” be able to adopt children and recruit the young. This and other elements of the more radical homosexual agenda must be vigorously opposed. Further, there is no established scientific evidence that sexual orientation is genetically determined by brain structure. Recent attempts to establish such a connection have been unscientific and biased. Focus on the Family recognizes that physiological and environmental factors may have significance within the complex amalgam of circumstances that contribute to a homosexual orientation; yet we cannot subscribe to a determinism that holds human beings to be mere biological machines. Moral choice is real, and it is central to our identity as men and women. The sin of homosexual behavior, like all sins, can be forgiven and healed by the grace revealed in the life and death of Christ. All sexual sin affects the human personality like no other sin, for sexual issues run deep in our character, and change is slow and uphill, but change is possible. Focus on the Family has seen that, by God’s grace and through compassionate counseling, it is sometimes possible, although always difficult, for a person to move from a homosexual to a heterosexual orientation. When that change appears impossible in an individual case, such a person is in the same position as the heterosexual single who has no prospects of marriage. They are both called by Scripture to a life of sexual abstinence. These are difficult words; yet no one has the authority to change the biblical prescription on sexuality outside of marriage.
That's a lot of hate packed into one paragraph isn't it.  Just like any other group, Focus on the Family is using a divide and conquer strategy to justify its ongoing hatred and attacks against the GLBT community.  They are absolutely right when the claim that the BLGT community is not like the African-American community or Latino's (I won't use Hispanic as they did because that is a colonizers term) but that does not mean that the TLBG community does not represent a historically oppressed group.  No two isms are identical to each other and demanding that the LGBT fulfill this standard when we don't expect it of any other marginalized group is homophobic and ridiculous. Their approach further preys upon the ongoing distrust between some straight Blacks and some White members of the GLBT community. There is no such thing as a good oppression and this is why historically marginalized people should stand side by side, rather than allowing ourselves to be divided from one another. We only validate the masters truth when we allow them to convince us that our path to liberation lies in oppressing others as we have been oppressed.

Child Bullied Out of School Because of His Appearance

I am going to say right up front that I am not a fan of Dr. Drew, but I feel that this story simply must be seen.

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Dr Drew: Is he in new school because of the bullying?
Mother: Yeah
Dr. Drew: He's had to leave his school because of the bullying. Is it as bad at the new school?
Child: very bad
Dr. Drew: Very bad. Oh it makes me sad.  I heard a story where he asked you mom if he's human. Did he really?
Mom: Yeah
Dr Drew: Tell me about that
Mom: He came home from school one day and he asked me if he was a human being and I just said, why are you asking me that. He said because the kids at school, they refer to me as an alien.
Dr. Drew: So that must have cut through you like a knife.
Mom: Yeah it really hurt. It really hurts when you don't know what else to say, like I mean
(mother and son both begin to cry)
Dr. Drew: Oh buddy come here. Move over guys, I have gotta sit next to this gentleman. You slid over. Oh I'll sit in the middle. I'll sit in the middle. Oh goodness gracious, come here dear.  Allison you got mom? Alright I got Josiah. Okay, this has got to be changed. Right?
Mom: Yeah
Dr. Drew: Okay, first of all, hopefully this is a wake up call for everybody at home about bullies. It's not superficial, it's not just kids being kids, it's violence. Okay, and we all have to get involved in putting a stop to this.

Twilight Breaking Dawn and Imprinting

'200px-Breaking_Dawn_cover' photo (c) 2011, mage somido - license:

Unlike many who criticize Twilight, I have actually read all of the books and seen all of the movies.  Many of the complaints commonly aimed at Twilight, appear quite regularly in the urban fantasy genre.  This includes stalking and abuse as love, an annoying female protagonist, erasure of GLBT characters and of course racism. Urban fantasy, just like anything else in this society, is not adverse to promoting isms, and this occurs because isms are ingrained in the very fabric of our society. This is specifically why I don't hold Twilight to a different standard than I do any other book or movie in the genre.

That being said, to me the largest fail in Twilight has to be the imprinting. Jacob makes the point that imprinting means the loss of his freedom, and it is something that he does not wish to happen to him.  He literally believes that it makes him a slave to his biology, because the element of choice is solidly removed. In this I would have to agree that he is right.  Unfortunately, as soon as he sees the White savior baby Renesmee, he imprints, thus saving the Cullens from a war with the werewolves. 

In what I can only believe was an attempt to make imprinting seem less creepy, the directors show Jacob looking at Renesmee and seeing a vision of her aging from infant to young adulthood.  It is a way to reassure us that Jacob will eventually find love with the adult Renesmee and not the infant in Rosalie's arms.  He will wait until she reaches the age of maturity to consummate his love.  I fully believe that when Meyer wrote this, she envisioned it as a form of love at first sight sort of deal; however, what it really comes down to is men grooming young girls to be their future mates.  This is not surprising because Meyer is after all Mormon, though she is LDS rather than FLDS.

Privileged areseholes defending hate speech

This is a guest post from Sparky, of Spark in Darkness.  Many of you are  familiar with him from Livejournal, as well as from his insightful and often hilarious commentary here. Each Tuesday, Womanist Musings will be featuring a post from Sparky.  

Oh we have another overdose of straight privilege. VIBE magazine interviewed rapper T.I. and let us all see his homophobic arse as he put on his privilege glasses to speak out against the terrible scourge of gays oppressing straight folks. The relevant section on the VIBE’s website:
“Man, I will say this, the funniest joke I ever heard Tracy say during a stand-up was, ‘C’mon man, I think gay people are too sensitive. If you can take a dick, you can take a joke.’ [Cracks up laughing.] That shit was funny to me. And it’s kind of true.’ While T.I. makes clear that he supports anyone’s sexual preference, he then connects, in his opinion, a current oversensitivity among gay people with a consequential and ironic offense of the First Amendment. “They’re like,‘If you have an opinion against us, we’re gonna shut you down.’ ... That’s not American. If you’re gay you should have the right to be gay in peace, and if you’re against it you should have the right to be against it in peace."
So much fail in so little space, let us count the ways.

First of all, precious straight people, we do not have the power to “shut you down.” Shockingly enough, as a marginalised body we’re actually pretty limited when it comes to world wide control. No, contrary to what you may have heard about the gay agenda, the gay godfather has not managed to enforce a Gayocracy . We don’t have the power to shut you down or censor you or silence you. Pretending that straight privilege is being oppressed and persecuted this way is grossly offensive. Pretending that we’re managing to push a campaign of censorship on straight people spouting homophobia is completely disregarding that we are marginalised

So what do we actually have here? Criticism, outrage, offence. We have gay people who are furious by slurs and insults and dehumanisation. Dehumanisation that, of course, continually makes us a target for discrimination, persecution and violence.  Which, yes we are very “sensitive” about. This language, this language of victimisation, of demeaning us, costs us. We are constantly belittled and reduced – at best we’re a joke, a punchline – at worst we’re a threat that needs to be beaten and destroyed or something disgusting that needs to be derided, ridiculed and driven out. This “humour” we’re so sensitive about costs lives, TI. So yes, we’re extremely “sensitive” about it – because I have enough self-respect to say that, despite what straight homophobes like you say, that I actually have value as a person.

Monday, November 28, 2011

Rapper T.I. Defends Tracy Morgan Because Apparently Gay People Are Too Sensitive

'T.I. 2011' photo (c) 2011, KicoX1 - license:

You ever read a story and just wish the person talking would show a little bit of human decency?  Well T.I.'s interview at Vibe did that to me.
Man, I will say this, the funniest joke I ever heard Tracy say during a stand-up was, ‘C’mon man, I think gay people are too sensitive. If you can take a dick, you can take a joke.’ [Cracks up laughing.] That shit was funny to me. And it’s kind of true.’ While T.I. makes clear that he supports anyone’s sexual preference, he then connects, in his opinion, a current oversensitivity among gay people with a consequential and ironic offense of the First Amendment. “They’re like,‘If you have an opinion against us, we’re gonna shut you down.’ ... That’s not American. If you’re gay you should have the right to be gay in peace, and if you’re against it you should have the right to be against it in peace.’
Here we go again, with the excuse that comedy gives the speaker the right to engage in whatever ism they choose.  Comedy is not some kind of magical panacea, and these so-called jokes, come from a place of ignorance, hatred, and privilege. Morgan stood on that stage and purposefully attacked gay people for a cheap laugh, specifically because he has straight privilege.

How Bad Do You Really Want That Waffle-Maker?

Matt Kailey is a transman living in Denver, Colorado, and an author, public speaker, and trainer on transgender issues. He blogs at Tranifesto. In his ideal world, no one would be equal to anyone else – everyone would just be equal.

I have nothing against Black Friday. Yes, it is a frenzied ode to our consumerist culture, and I do have something against our consumerist culture – but until we change it, we own it.

I even go shopping on Black Friday – at the one store that sells the clothes my sister likes. I agree that the sales offered allow people to purchase things that they might not otherwise be able to afford. This clothing store’s Black Friday sale allows me to get my sister several items instead of just one, and I like to have multiple presents for people to open. 

It’s more fun that way, and reminiscent of my childhood, when Christmas was the holiday of the year and my parents went into debt every season to provide lots of presents, then spent the rest of the year paying them off. Presents aside, it was just a very fun, non-religious family holiday. I understand the privilege that allowed and allows me to enjoy it, and I am grateful for that.

But I don’t know how happy my sister would be with her gifts if she thought that a store clerk was trampled to death in order for me to purchase them, as happened a few years ago

I don’t know how happy she would be with her gifts if she thought that I had pepper-sprayed other shoppers in order to get the best items, as one woman did this year

And I don’t know how happy she would be with her gifts if she thought I was involved in a mini-riot to get them, as with this year’s $2 waffle-makers

What Does it Take to Look Like Barbie

The above is a photo of model Katie Halchishick, and it is designed specifically to revel what changes would be necessary for her body to emulate Barbie.  In womanist/feminist circles, there has long been a debate about the false image of womanhood that Barbie represents.  I believe that Halchishick's photo represents a vivid visual encapsulation of the potential damage. 

Models are women that we uplift for supposedly representing the best of what female beauty stands for, and if a woman as beautiful as Katie Halchishick, fails to meet that mark, what hope is there for the average woman?  The standards of female beauty have become so unrealistic, that no woman can even come close to approaching the ideal and yet the beauty and the fashion industry encourages us to spend money, time, and effort, in an attempt to conform to a ridiculous standard that is destined to be futile.

Barbie is a doll that we give to little girls to play with.  Children take time to distinguish between fantasy and play and so to them, Barbie could potentially represent reality for a time.  By the time  they are old enough to finally distinguish between fantasy and reality, the messages that we taught them  have already been ingrained and then the process can potentially begin to decolonize one's mind.  This process is by no means a journey that all young women participate in, and this is specifically one of the major reasons why Barbie is harmful.  The dolls sets up a beauty standard that no woman can possibly hope to meet. 

The Walking Dead Season Two, Episode Seven: Pretty Much Dead

The episode opens over breakfast with Carol cooking.  Why is it the male survivors can never make any food or wash a damn dish?  Glenn gathers their attention and says, "so, the barn is full of walkers." The scene flashes to the barn and we see walkers ambling about as Shane peers through a hole in the wood. Shane immediately charges up to Rick saying, "you can't tell me that you are alright with this. We either get make this right or we got to go".  Rick reminds him that this is Hershels land. When Carol intervens saying that her daughter is still out there, but Shane  asserts that she is dead which causes Darryl to intervene. Shane says to Darryl, "And if she saw you coming with your buck teeth, and ears around the neck she would run in the other direction".  Dale tells them that Hershel sees these things as people, but then Shane loses his mind again that Dale waited to say anything.

This one time I have to agree with Shane.  Those walkers are dangerous and no matter what Hershel says, they are most definitely not people.  He walks around outside the barn and attempts to brake the locks. Glenn approaches Maggie and begs her to talk to him.  She asks him for his hat, and then puts an egg in it and cracks the egg over his head. He asks, "why would you waste an egg like that," and she says, "I think it was rotten".

Working on some math problems, Carl tells Lori that he is not leaving until they find Sophia and even then he does not want to leave.  He tells her that he thinks this would a good home. After everything that this little boy has seen it really is no wonder that he sees Hershel's farm as a good place to stay. 

In frustration, Darryl saddles a horse to leave because it is clear that searching for Sophia is no longer high on the list of things to do, but Carol tries to stop him.  She says, "we don't know if we're going to find her, we don't, I don't.  I can't lose you to".  Darryl throws the saddle in anger injuring himself, but when Carol asks him how he is he says, "just leave me be, stupid bitch".  Okay, anyone still arguing that he is a good guy? 

At the camper, Glenn is sitting watch and finds Andrea loading up on weapons.  She tells him that Shane wants a watch duty at the barn.  Dale tells her that he does not know what is going on with Shane and that she may not really know him. She says, "I get it you don't like him".  He asks, "is that how you wanna be, like him"? And she responds, "he's not a victim". Dale says, "you don't know him".  Andrea answers, "Dale I need you to stop, you spend so much time watching me". He says "you want to beat me up everytime I show any kind of concern". Isn't that just typical, he's been policing her and treating her like a possession, but it really is all about him being the victim. There isn't a woman in camp that he hasn't tried to control in some way. She says, "I'm okay, things are different".

Glenn asks if Dale is okay and Dale uses this opportunity to be relieved  to get him some water, because he needs a second. Glenn asks him if he will keep watch and distracted he answers, yeah sure. Clearly Dale is up to something and it is based in his absolute distrust of Shane. 

Hershel sits at a table when Rick walks in.  He offers to help them out with the work and he says, "it's my field to tend". Rick tells him that he found the barn, but Hershel says that he does not want to talk about the barn.  He then says "I need you and your group gone by the end of the week". Rick responds that if they send them out there that they may not live. He says this farm is special and that Hershel has  been shielded from everything that happened out there.  "The first time I saw walker, it was just half a body with a head snapping at me". Viewers may recognize this walker as the one that was featured in the webisodes. Rick says "please do not send us out there again. Lori is pregnant. That is either a gift here, or a death sentence out there".  Hershel says he thought about it and that they cannot survive together. 

Outside Rick approaches Shane. Shane asks "whats it going to be man, which way does this thing go?" Rick tells him that they are negotiating.  Shane answers that the clock is thinking.  He says they know that there are about a dozen walkers in there, a stones throw away from where they sleep.  He asks why he wants to stay there, when it's not safe? Rick finally tells Shane that Lori is pregnant, and that they need to stay. Shane says, Lori is having a baby man, congratulations, but the minute he walks away, Shane turns to face the barn. It is obvious that congratulating Rick was extremely hard for Shane to do. No matter what he has said to Lori, Shane has not let go of what happened between them.

In the kitchen, Hershel tells Maggie that Carl does not need anymore of his help. He says that it will be hard and that Rick was being dramatic. He feels that they need to choose their own farm.  Maggie tells him that all the farms are all full of walkers. She says, "Love one another as I have loved you," when Hershel asks how Ricks people are his responsibility. Maggie tells him that he's different. Hershel asks if this is about her and "the Asian boy". It seems that despite his strong religious faith, his White male privilege prevents hims from seeing Glenn as a person.  She tells him that his name is Glenn and that he saved her life yesterday.  I was so relieved that Maggie called him on his reductive treatment of Glenn, She says, "things aren't what you think they are, don't do this. It's not about me and Glenn, it's about you, who you are and who you are going to be". 

Rick and Andrea are planning on doing a seach for Sophia, when Hershel walks up says that he needs his help with something. Andrea offers to help, but he says, "thanks, I just need Rick". Can we ever have a moment on this show where women aren't automatically dismissed?

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