Thursday, January 19, 2012

Why Grow Your Own Pubic Hair When You Can Have Fox Fur and Feathers

I thought that when the vajazzle phase came in, that we had seen the worst of decorator vaginas, but I should have known that this could only get worse. I give you the designer merkin.

A waxing salon run by former Real Housewife Of New York Cindy Barshop has finally come up with something even more offensive than vajazzling: fancy merkins made out of real fur and feathers from real slaughtered animals. For this absurd beauty procedure, the client’s pubic hair is waxed completely off and replaced with a wig made of either fox fur (“the Foxy Bikini”) or feathers (“the Carnivale”), so that it looks like you’re starring in a tacky porno for furries. They cost $225 and $195, respectively. (source)
Why the hell are women not only lining up, but paying their hard earned money for this shit?  Seriously, if you hit the sack and your partner has an objection to your ladybits, the solution is not to go and grab some feathers and make it pretty, but to kick said partner's ass directly to the damn curb.  What the hell is with the obsession with making lady bits pretty?  Heaven forbid women just accept ourselves as we are, after all, what would be profitable in that? 

I will start considering decorating my girl with potential yeast infection causing shit, when men do the same.  There is no way any of this shit would be remotely considered marketable to men.  The other issue that comes to mind is the fact that real fur and feathers are being used.  I am not one of those who believes that we should avoid consuming or using animals as needed, but I do believe that we should respect them.  Getting a fur merkin is a terrible and unconscionable reason for any animal to feel pain, let alone die.  At least with a fur coat, one can argue that it provides warmth, and I fail to see even the smallest justification for the fur merkin.