We start in the Lannister war camp where 2 soldiers are deciding who is the best sword in the Seven Kingdoms and making gay jokes about Loras and Renly – until a surprise attack by Robb and his army taking out the camp. One of his advisors is pushing for him to torture the prisoners for more information –but Robb won’t give the Lannisters and excuse to abuse his sisters
And we get some rough field surgery of a Lannister soldier to remove his leg – with Robb willing to help even though it’s the enemy. The doctor who treated him has little time for lords and their wars and the cost they bring to common people. Especially since Robb has no plans for the Seven Kingdoms after Joffrey is deposed.
At Kings Landing Joffrey’s supporters are making up outlandish tales for how Robb is winning the war – and blaming Sansa for the loss and having her attacked and beaten in court – until Tyrion arrives and brings the awesome with him – reminding dear Joffrey that the “Mad” King Aerys thought he could do whatever he wanted with impunity as well before he was killed. He also has some masterful threats for the Kingsguard as well and kind tenderness for Sansa. Despite that, Sansa cannot trust even Tyrion.
Unfortunately then Tyrion and Bron discuss getting Joffrey laid to help temper his sadistic tendencies, oh no Tyrion, cling on to the awesome. Why do I think A prostitute will be involved soon?
And yes, the next scene there are 2 women in Joffrey’s rooms who proceed to make out with each other for Joffrey’s viewing pleasure. Joffrey is still a sadist however, and forces one woman to brutally beat the other.
Back with Tyrion, his cousin Lancell brings a writ from Cersei to order the release of Pycelle. Oh, Cersei, Lancell is no match for Tyrion who threatens to tell Joffrey that Lancel is sleeping with Cersei. And Tyrion has another spy and agent.
At the travelling court of King Renly, Littlefinger has arrived to deal with him. Renly makes his contempt for the man utterly plain. Baelish tries to offer a secret compact with Renly, but Renly doesn’t have much truck with him.
That night, however, he meets Queen Margaery, and starts making several digs about Margaery having to sleep alone and Renly sleeping with Loras. Margaery has to subtly declare her loyalty to Renly for Baelish.