Monday, April 9, 2012

Santorum Inspires 'Wank Off' Protest

I will honestly admit that I do have certain issues with porn, but the following suggested protest amused me.  I was further shocked by the unlikely endorsement.


transcript below the fold.

Allie Haze "Pound the Round POV 5": By now you have probably heard of presidential hopeful RIck Santorum's anti pornography policy.
Chastity Lynn Bj's in Pj's: If elected, Santorum has vowed to prosecute our industry on infrequently enforced obscenity laws.
Allie Haze "Pound the Round POV 5": But as porn stars and Americans, we can't let that happen.
[Chastity Lynn "Bj's in Pj's" shakes her head no]
Allie Haze "Pound the Round POV 5": Picture a world without pornography.
Chanel Preston 'Beggin' for a Peggin': Pizza delivery boys with nothing to dream about.
Jerry 'Desperate Housewhores 4': People masturbating to Facebook photos
Allie Haze "Pound the Round POV 5": Or worst of all people using just their imaginations
Chanel Preston 'Beggin' for a Peggin': Santorum says watching porn causes profound brain changes resulting in negative consequences.  Besides not being supported by any facts, wouldn't the opposite be true. Porn lets you visualize your fantasies so that you don't have to walk around like a tightly wound sexually repressed time bomb.
Allie Haze "Pound the Round POV 5": Great idea starting a war with the internet. How did that work out for you last time? [image of search results for Santorum]
Chanel Preston 'Beggin' for a Peggin': Besides, what are you going to do? Erase all of the porn
Allie Haze "Pound the Round POV 5": As soon as you took one down, two more would pop up, like a mythical multiple headed porno beast. Actually, that's a good idea for porno.
Chastity Lynn Bj's in Pj's: So to protest Santorum, on May 1st at 8pm, we're staging the worlds largest wankout.  Just open up your favourite porn.
Allie Haze "Pound the Round POV 5":The one you downloaded to your harddrive and named
Chanel Preston 'Beggin' for a Peggin': Old college papers
Jerry 'Desperate Housewhores 4': 2010 taxes
Allie Haze "Pound the Round POV 5": Grandma's 80th birthday party
Chastity Lynn Bj's in Pj's: and let loose. Together we can franchise ourselves through the power of incessant masturbation. 
Chanel Preston 'Beggin' for a Peggin': Maybe it's me in the biker bar and getting tied up and [bleeped out] like the bad girl that I am.
Chastity Lynn Bj's in Pj's: Or us [note Allie Haze "Pound the Round POV 5" is in this shot] me on top [ bleep bleep] on her pool table.
Jerry 'Desperate Housewhores 4': You good?
Chastity Lynn Bj's in Pj's: So vote Romney
Allie Haze "Pound the Round POV 5": Wait, Romney is a Republican dick hole too.
Chastity Lynn Bj's in Pj's: So Santorum, because if he wins primary, he would definitely get crushed by Obama.
Allie Haze "Pound the Round POV 5": And Obama would never try to stop the porn industry
Chastity Lynn Bj's in Pj's: So Santorum, it's the long game.

Okay, thoughts anyone?